Song Lyrics


  1. Aon Focal Eile

“When it comes to songwriters, there is none better than Richie Kavanagh. I think he is fantastic.”

Daniel O’Donnell…. The Sunday World.

“Richie writes songs that allows you to close your eyes and make your own pictures” ……Shay Healy.

”Richie Is A True Original” ……Brendan O’ Carroll.


Aon Focal Eile

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

When I was just a little lad, I used to go to school.
I’d sit down there in the seat, feeling like a fool.
The teacher toult us everything, everything we know.
She had a great big lump of a stick, that was bent into a bow.

Chorus
She’d go “Aon focal, da focal, tu focal eile, And I not know no focal at all.

She’d go “Aon focal, da focal, tu focal eile, And I not know no focal at all.
She toult us how to say, all our A.B.C.s.
She showed us how to make little men out a plasticine.
She taught us how to say our prayers, she toult us right from wrong.
The only thing about it, we didn’t go to school too long.

She taught about the history, the Battle of the Boyne.
And how to play a game with a chestnut on a twine.
She says “Open up your catechism, learn of that information.
If you don’t get it into your big thick head, you won’t get your Confirmation”.

Chorus

Well, the days we spent going to school, were the best years of our life.
Tho’ at the time we thought they were, full of trouble and strife.
Now when I’m home on holiday, I pass the old school gate.
I think a the time I spent in there, them times they surely were great.

Chorus

She’d go “Aon focal, da focal ,tu focal eile, And I not know no focal at all.
She’d go “Aon focal, da focal, tu focal eile, And I not know no focal at all.
Feiceann me, Feiceann tu, Thats The Truth says I ta you.
She’d go “Aon focal, da focal, tu focal eile.
And I not know no focal at all.
And we not know no focal at all.

The Irish Recorded Music Association Top 30 Hits

Top 30 Singles
Title: AON FOCAL EILE

Artist: RICHIE KAVANAGH

Label: FOCAL RECORDS

Date of entry: 07.03.1996

Highest Placement: NO. 1 for 7 weeks

Weeks in the Charts: 27

Year: 1996

Explanation: Aon = One, Focal = Word, Eile = Another.

The Mobile Phone

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus
Oh my girlfriend has a mobile phone,

Now we can never have a minute alone.
The other night I asked her for a kiss,
She said “Hang on now till I answer this”.

Oh this mobile phone it is a curse,
An it makes a awful hole in her purse.
Wud her mobile phone she gets such a trill,
But her smile disappears when she gets the bill.

Chorus

On sunday it rang in the middle of mass,
An all the children thought it was great gas.
Some people though it was the Angelus,
But the priest on the alter was furious.

Chorus

Last week I was courting her in me car,
An she was letting me go to far.
The next thing her mobile phone did ring,
Just as I was about to put me hand on her …..

Chorus

If your looking for a girlfriend now ya see,
My advice to you would be.
If the girl that ya fancy has a mobile phone,
Don’t bodder about her just leave her alone.

Chorus

Spoken..
[Richie] ….. “Hello is that Fenagh, double two, double two”
[Johnnie] … “No, this Fenagh 22 22”

[Richie] ….. “Ah, Im sorry for getting you out a the bed”
[Johnnie] … “Ah sure, I had to come down to answer the phone anyway”

The Irish Recorded Music Association Top 30 Hits
Top 30 Singles
Title: The Mobile Phone
Artist: RICHIE KAVANAGH
Label: FOCAL RECORDS
Highest placement: NO. 8

 

Chicken Talk

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

[Richie] … “Johnny”. [Johnny] …. “Ya”,
[Richie] ….”When was the first time you heard a naughty word?”.

First time I heard a naughty word, was when I was a child.
I heard it from the chickens, me Granny she went wild.
Me Granny says now Johnny, the chickens they don’t curse.
Be gore says I to Granny, t’was the chicken said it first.

CHORUS

Fock fock fock fock fock fock fock off, Fock fock fock fock fock fock fock off
Now this is chicken talk,

Fock fock fock fock fock fock fock off.
This is what they say, when the chickens they do lay,
Fock fock fock fock fock fock fock off, Fock fock fock fock fock fock fock off.

Then up the yard me Granny came and let an awful shout,
She says to me now Johnny, shut that f’en chickens mouth.
I ran the chicken up the yard, across and all around,
And yet the bleddy chicken wouldn’t stop that f’en sound.

 CHORUS

Then Granny started cursing, but the chicken said it first,
The more that Granny shouted, the more the chicken cursed.

Granny said “I never seen the like in all my life,
I never had a chicken that caused so much strife.

CHORUS

Fock fock fock fock fock fock fock off, Fock fock fock fock fock fock fock off,
Now this is Chicken Talk fock fock fock fock fock fock fock off.

This is what they say, when the chickens they do lay,
Fock fock fock fock fock fock fock off, Fock fock fock fock fock fock fock off.
So lets all sing along, lets sing the chicken song,
Fock fock fock fock fock fock fock off, fock fock fock fock fock fock fock off.
Quack quack quack quack went the duck,
But the chicken still said fock.
Fock fock fock fock fock fock fock off, Fock fock fock fock fock fock fock off.
Fock fock fock fock fock fock fock off, Fock fock fock fock fock fock fock off.
Now this is Chicken Talk, fock fock fock fock fock fock fock off.
This is what they say, when the chickens they do lay,
Fock fock fock fock fock fock fock off, fock fock fock fock fock fock fock off.

Do you remember when you used to go to your Grannies house,                                                                                                              She would send you out to the chicken house to collect the eggs?                                                                                                    When you put your hand under the chicken on the nest to get the egg,                                                                                                       The chicken would fly off the nest singing, Fock fock fock fock fock fock fock off, Fock fock fock fock fock fock off.

 “Chicken Talk” has reached over 12,217,435 MILLION Views on Facebook…..Thank you all!!!!.

How Elvis Became A Carlow Man

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

William Presley came from Hacketstown, at the foot of Eagle Hill.
The stones from his house, ya’ll see them in the fields there still.
I’ll tell you now the story, so listen if you can,
And I will tell how, Elvis became a Carlow man.

His ancestor was William, Presley now ya see,
And from his native Hacketstown, this man was forced to flee.
He sailed for America, across the raging sea,
Arriving in New Orleans, then on to Tennessee.

William Great-Grandaughter, her name it was Rosella,
She had a son called Jesse, he was a grand young fella.
In nineteen thirteen, Jesse married Minnie Mae,
And their son Vernon, brings us right to the present day.

Then Vernon married Gladys Smith, in nineteen thirty three,
They never realised their son, how famous he would be.
The greatest rock and roller, sure Elvis was the King,
That little bit of Irish, maybe helped him for to sing.

The Elvis connection to Hacketstown was discovered by Carlow local Historian, Michael Purcell.

Michael was later to visit America to verify the connection.

 Stay Wut Her Johnny

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Stay wut ‘er Johnny Johnny, stay wut ‘er Johnny,
Stay wut ‘er Johnny Johnny, stay wut ‘er Johnny.

I am a rally driver on the circuit for years,
I’m a woefull man now for jammin’ gears.

I rev’s her on the corner, flat out on the straight,
A be the gore a man boys the craic it is great.
Stay wut ‘er Johnny Johnny, stay wut ‘er Johnny.

The car that I drive is an auld escort,
I bought it in Galway, in the town of Gort.
Brought her home and I stripped her down,
Now she’s one of the greatest auld cars around.
Stay wut ‘er Johnny Johnny, stay wut ‘er Johnny.

I am a rally driver on the circuit for years,
I’m a woefull man now for jammin’ gears.
You should see me doin’ a handbrake turn,
I’m the man to make the tyres burn.

Stay wut ‘er Johnny Johnny, stay wut ‘er Johnny.
Stay wut ‘er Johnny Johnny, stay wut ‘er Johnny.

I’m driving like I never did drive before,
I have my foot flat on the floor.
I’m going quare well in the rally so far,
Three seconds behind the leading car.

Stay wut ‘er Johnny Johnny, stay wut ‘er Johnny.
Richie is always the pace notes man,
Shouting them out as loud as he can.
Over a crest doing a hundred an ten,
A flat three left then a crest again!!

Stay wut ‘er Johnny Johnny, stay wut ‘er Johnny
I am a rally driver on the circuit for years,
I’m a woefull man now for jammin’ gears.
You should see me doin’ a handbrake turn,
I’m the man to make the tyres burn.

Stay wut ‘er Johnny Johnny, stay wut ‘er Johnny.
Stay wut ‘er Johnny Johnny, stay wut ‘er Johnny.

 Spoken … (Richie) “Stay wut ‘er Johnny”.
(Johnny) ”Thats right thats the truth!!” ”Drive Her Straight Sideways”
Stay wut ‘er Johnny Johnny, stay wut ‘er Johnny.

Losing power t’was making me nervous,
So I headed on back now for the services.
Down along the bog road now I was tipping,
Then the bleadin auld clutch it started slipping.

Stay wut ‘er Johnny Johnny, stay wut ‘er Johnny.
I am a rally driver on the circuit for years,
I’m a woefull man now for jammin’ gears.
You should see me doin’ a handbrake turn,
I’m the man to make the tyres burn.

Stay wut ‘er Johnny Johnny, stay wut ‘er Johnny.
Oh I am a rally driver on the circuit for years,
I’m a woefull man now for jammin’ gears.
You should see me doin’ a handbrake turn,
I’m the man to make the tyres burn.

Stay wut ‘er Johnny Johnny, stay wut ‘er Johnny
Stay wut ‘er Johnny Johnny, stay wut ‘er Johnny
Stay wut ‘er Johnny Johnny, stay wut ‘er Johnny
Stay wut ‘er Johnny Johnny, stay wut ‘er Johnny
Stay wut ‘er Johnny Johnny, stay wut ‘er Johnny
Stay wut ‘er Johnny Johnny, stay wut ‘er Johnny

”Stay Wut Her Johnny” has reached 1.385,790 MILLION Views on Facebook…..Thank you all!!!.

A 20th Century Man

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

“Johnny whats gonna happen to us in the year 2000?”

In the year two thousand they’ll look at me,
They’ll say he’s a quar auld fella ya see.
They don’t realise, when I was young, 
Life was simple an full of fun.

I know this body is full of auld bones, 
But I lived through the Beatles an’ the Rollin’ Stones.
Saw Liston an beating by Cassius Clay,
An where I was when they shot down J.F.K.

Chorus

Cos I’m a 20th century man an’ I’m living me life the best I can,
No millennium bug will interfere with me.

There was wars everywhere in Vietnam, 
An always in the middle was Uncle Sam.                                                                                                                                               Their was flower power, an men on the moon.
Free love, now thats what the hippies were doing.

I wouldn’t have wanted ta live in any other time. 
I enjoyed me life, I was in my prime. 
Young people now you should do the same, 
If ye don’t ye only have yourselves ta blame.

Chorus

Cos I’m a 20th century man an I’m living me life the best I can,
No millennium bug will interfere with me.

I couldn’t put everything into this song, 
Cos all that happened would take to long.
We thought that the end of the world would come, 
A great big bang an atomic bomb.

Oh I’m a 20th century man an’ I’m living me life the best I can,
No millennium bug will interfere with me.
Yeah, Oh I’m a 20th century man an’ I’m living me life the best I can,
No millennium bug will interfere with me.
Oh yeah, 
No millennium bug will interfere with me.

The Auld Waterfall

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

In our house we had no bathroom at all,
We’d go wash ourselves at the aul waterfall.
Lovely fresh water and carbolic soap,
Gallons of water flowing down a big slope.

We’d be thinning the turnips, we’d be weeding the beet,
We’d have all kinds of dust an’ clay on our feet.
Each evening at six to the river we’d go,
To were all that lovely fresh water did flow.

Chorus

In our house we had no bathroom at all,
We’d go wash ourselves at the aul waterfall.
Lovely fresh water and carbolic soap,
Gallons of water flowing down a big slope.

Me trousers an’ shirt would come off like a flash,
Then into the river I jumped with a splash.
Jacuzzis  an’ showers can’t compare now at all,
With the lovely fresh water at the auld waterfall.

Chorus

In our house we had no bathroom at all,
We’d go wash ourselves at the aul waterfall.
Lovely fresh water and carbolic soap,
Gallons of water flowing down a big slope.

One day on the waterfall stones now we knelt,
T’was there now we seen Rosie all there in her pelt.
Our mammies never knew the things we found out,
Seen all the young girls swimming there all about.

Chorus

In our house we had no bathroom at all,
We’d go wash ourselves at the aul waterfall.
Lovely fresh water and carbolic soap,
Gallons of water blowing down a big slope.

The friends and companions now there that we met,
Such gallery we had there I’ll never forget.

 

A Little Woman A Me Own

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

I am a small farmer living here all alone,
An’ I wish I had a little woman a me own.
Tom Cruise I wish I look like you,
But the way I am sure I’ll have ta do.

A ha ha ye ye 

I have a bed made out of an oak tree.
It was made for two not just for me.
I have yokes in the house, since me mammy time.
They are square yokes, these yokes of mine.

Chorus

I am a small farmer living here all alone.
An I wish, I had a little woman a’ me own.
Tom Cruise, I wish I look like you.
But the way I am, sure I’ll have ta do.

Ah ha ha ye ye.

Me hair is a kinda turning grey. 
So I got a bottle a’ dye the other day.
T’was a kind of a sorta mousy brown. 
Be the gore a man, I’m gonna go ta town.

Chorus

I am a small farmer living here all alone.
An’ I wish, I had a little woman a me own.
Tom Cruise, I wish I look like you.
But the way I am, sure I’ll have ta do.

Ah ha ha  ye ye

I went to a country an’ western dance.
But the girls that were there didn’t give me a glance.
In me Morris minor, I headed on home.
Woke up in the morning in the bed all alone.

Chorus

I am a small farmer living here all alone.
An’ I wish, I had a little woman a me own.
Tom Cruise, I wish I look like you.
But the way I am, sure I’ll have ta do.

Ah ha ha ye ye

Chorus

I am a small farmer living here all alone.
An’ I wish, I had a little woman a me own.
Tom Cruise, I wish I look like you.
But the way I am, sure I’ll have to do.

YA

 

My Wife Johnny’s Morris Minor   

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Spoken….. (Richie) “Well Johnny are you going to sing a little song?”
(Johnny) “I’m going to sing about me little morris minor”

(Richie) “An’ I’ll sing a song about me wife”
(Johnny) “Right you start an’ I’ll join in”

Chorus

(Richie) Oh me wife she is five foot three, a blond there is no finer.
(Johnny) I bought her in nineteen fifty-nine, she’s a little a morris minor.

(Richie) I met her at a dance one night below in Enniscorthy,
(Johnny) I traded in a Commer van it was a nineteen forty.

(Richie) Well we sang and danced all night long, sure we could not be parted.
(Johnny) I had her for about an hour, before I got her started.

(Richie) I asked her if I could leave her home, she said her name was June.
(Johnny) I never liked the colour, she was a dirty red maroon.

Chorus

(Richie) Well I walked her home held her tight, we done things ya could not mention.
(Johnny) But I tell ya sure and certain boys, she had a great suspension.

(Richie) Well we courted strong for six long months, before I did propose.
(Johnny) It was then she got all steamed up and burst her water hose.

Chorus

(Richie) On a day in June we were wed, our hearts the did entwine,
(Johnny) But most of her upholstery was tied up would baling twine.

(Richie) She looked so well on our honeymoon in her night attire,
(Johnny) She had lovely cromey head lights, but a very bad spare tyre.

Chorus

(Richie) Well now we have five children the youngest he is Pat,
(Johnny) There’s a fair auld spark left in her though sometimes the batteries flat.

(Richie) Now Junes hair is turning grey but there is no finer,
(Johnny) And I wouldn’t trade her for the world me little morris minor.

Chorus
(Richie) Oh me wife she is five foot three a blond there is no finer,

(Johnny) I bought her in nineteen fifty-nine she’s a little a morris minor.
(Richie) I met her at a dance one night below in Enniscorthy,
(Johnny) I traded in a Commer van it was a nineteen forty.
(Richie) Oh her name is June,
(Johnny) She’s maroon she’s me little morris minor.
(Johnny) And I wouldn’t trade her for the world, me little morris minor.
(Johnny) And I wouldn’t trade her for the world, me little morris minor.

TheFootball Match Row

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh.

At the football match there was a row,
About that row I’ll tell you now.
The ref. was kicked by three or four,
Say nothing now ’till you hear more.

Chorus

Will you tell us will you tell us where the ref. was kicked
Say nothing now ’till you hear more
Tell us, tell us, tell us, ah tell us please tell us
Will you tell us please Johnny where the ref. was kicked.

The goalie was a horse of an ass of a man
In the goal mouth now he did stand
He wasn’t big nor he wasn’t small
He never ever let in the ball.

Chorus

Will you tell us, will you tell us, where the ref. was kicked.
Say nothing now ’till you hear more.
Tell us, tell us, tell us, ah tell us please tell us,
Will you tell us please Johnny where the ref. was kicked.

Teams were all togged out on style,
Played great football for a while.
Goalie got a quare lot boulder,
Kicked the forward in the shoulder.
Ref. ran up and blew his whistle,
He gave the goalie his dismissal.
The goalie started to curse and swear,
Next thing there were fists flying everywhere.

Chorus

Will you tell us, will you tell us, where the ref. was kicked.
Say nothing now ’till you hear more.
Tell us, tell us, tell us, ah tell us please tell us,
Will you tell us please Johnny where the ref. was kicked.

Players all started for to fight,
Who was wrong or who was right.
Supporters all jumped across the fence,
Have’nt seen the poor auld ref. since.

Chorus

Will you tell us, will you tell us, where the ref. was kicked.
Say nothing now ’till you hear more.
Ah tell us please Johnny where the ref. was kicked.

He was kicked between the whistle and the full time score.
He was kicked between the whistle and the full time score.
Be the holy man that must have been soar.

 His Name It Is Joe Dolan

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

There’s a singer here in Ireland the greatest of all men,
He started off in Mullingar with his brother Ben.

His first job was a printer, his first love was to sing,
His very first recording was the “Answer to everything.”

His name it is Joe Dolan the year was sixty four,
He made the Irish charts but there was more and more.
House with the white washed gable, my own peculiar way,
Teresa,I need you,I love you more and more everyday.

Chorus

Pretty brown eyes, aching breaking heart,
Make me an island, made the british chart.
He’s number one in Europe, he played the USA,
He even played in Russia before their freedom day.

Chorus

He’s a Westmeath bachelor, a golf club he likes to swing.
You’re a good looking woman, you’ll often hear him sing.
His voice it is unique, no one he imitates.
He has his own individuality, thats why he is so great.

Chorus

”Joe Dolan was born in Mullingar, County Westmeath”

…1969 was the year that Joe had his first International break,

with a song called “Make Me An Island” Joe stormed into the U.K. charts at No.3….

Fagan’s Chipper Van

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Oh me name is Johnny Fagan, I’m a hard working man.
An’ I always wanted for to own a little chipper van.
I bought a Buy and Sell, it’s full of ads you know.
Then I seen an ad for a chipper van in the County of Mayo.

Chorus

Did you ever wonder why, I got vinger in me eye?
Would you like a little sausage?

I’ve a lovely little sausage.
Would you like to buy a sausage,
From me little chipper van?

I godder up a few auld bob and off I did go,
Sure I bought the little chipper van in the County of Mayo.
It used to be a bread van of Mooney and O’Brien,
But now it’s a little chipper van an’ I’m glad that it is mine.

Chorus

I buy all me spuds in Wexford, the greatest spuds around.
The make powerful chips, the got no frost in the ground.
The chicken comes from Kellistown, fish from the Irish sea.
All cooked by Johnny Fagan, Johnny Fagan now thats me.

Chorus

I sell all kinds of burgers, coke and curry too.
If your feeling kinda hungry, you know now what to do.
If you see Fagan’s chipper, parked outside a pub.
You now Johnny Fagan only sells the best a grub.

Final Chorus

Did you ever wonder why, I got vinger in me eye?
Would you like a little sausage?

I’ve a lovely little sausage.
Would you like to buy a sausage,
From me little chipper van?…. Would you like to buy a sausage,
From the Johnny Fagan man?

 

Face Her For Mount Leinster

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Aon, Do, Tri, Ceathair, get them feet and start to cater.
One, Two, Three, Four, keep them dancing on the floor.

Chorus

Oh face her for the mountain and face her for the hill.
When you face her for Mount Leinster, she’ll keep on dancing still.

Oh face her for the valley and face her for the glenn.
When you face her for Mount Leinster, she’ll start to dance again.

She is a lovely girl and she has a lovely sister,
I tell you were they live, they live up on Mount Leinster.

She’s a great girl with a hurley and a great girl with a slither,
She may be small and burley but be gore there is no fitter.

Chorus

Aon, Do, Tri, Ceathair,

She plays the auld camogie with the local team,
Who shall, we shall, Myshall, yall hear the fans all scream.

I brought her to the disco and I brought her to the pub,
Then I brought her to the chippers because she likes her grub.

Chorus

Aon, Do, Tri, Ceathair, get them feet and start to cater.
One, Two, Three, Four, keep them dancing on the floor.

Oh face her for the mountain and face her for the hill.
When you face her for Mount Leinster, she’ll keep on dancing still.

Oh face her for the valley and face her for the glenn.
When you face her for Mount Leinster ,she’ll start to dance again.
Oh face her for for the mountain and face her for the hill.
When you face her for Mount Leinster, she’ll keep on dancing still.
Oh face her for the valley and face her for the glenn.
When you face her for Mount Leinster, she’ll start to dance again.

Christy’s Auld Cow

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Now Christy’s auld Mammy, she really gave out.
When Christy’s auld cow now it got foot n’ mouth.
She says ya know now I’ll get rid of it soon,
Put it on a rocket send it to the moon.

.Chorus

Over the moon, Over the moon, 
Christy’s auld cow shit all over the moon.
It did now I seen, the moon it turned green. 
When Christy’s auld cow shit all over the moon.

No grass on the moon, So the cow eats moon dust.
There’s loads of it there, underneath the moon crust.
Says Christy the cow is due ta be milked soon.
Says Mammy t’will be milked by the man in the moon.

Chorus

Over the moon, Over the moon, 
Christy’s auld cow shit all over the moon.
It did now I seen, the moon it turned green.
When Christy’s auld cow shit all over the moon.

The man in the moon and Christy’s auld cow, 
Both live together upon the moon now. 
When the moon it shines bright, ya know what ta do.
The man he does sing and the cow she goes moo.

Chorus

Over the moon, Over the moon,
Christy’s auld cow shit all over the moon.
It did now I seen, the moon it turned green.
When Christy’s auld cow shit all over the moon.

“Stay wut her, Johnny!” 
“Stay out her.”

Now Christy’s auld Mammy, she rarely gave out.
When Christy’s auld cow now it got foot n’ mouth.
She says ya know now I’ll get rid of it soon,
Put it on a rocket, send it to the moon.

Chorus

Over the moon, Over the moon, 
Christy’s auld cow shit all over the moon. 
It did now I seen, the moon it turned green.
When Christy’s auld cow shit all over the moon.

“Your a good one Johnny, your a good one.. (and thats the truth).”

Me First Marquee Dance

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie)… “Aye Johnny di ya remember yer first marquee dance?”

At sixteen years of age, I went to my first marquee dance.
Girls dresses were so short, you could nearly see their pants.

Then I spy’ed this little red head, that I never seen before.
And I asked her if she’d like to come for a spin around the floor.

Well she held me o’ so tightly, she stuck to me like glue.
Sure I got so excited, I did’ent know what to do.

I brought her for a mineral, she drank the bleady lot.
I asked her if she’d go with me, she said sure why not.

Well I got me brothers car keys, it was an A forty.
Then myself and the red head, went outside now ya see.

Well she started for to kiss me, all over my big face.
And she started for to tickle me, in me important little place.

Well the sweat it run down me face, at what she might do next.
I was afraid for to feel her leg, in case the girl got vexted.

She says do you love me, says I sure I don’t know.
She says now your a quar fellow, your working too dam slow.

Well I laded me hand upon her knee an’ then to my surprise.
Looking through the wind screen were two great big mad eyes.

She says it is me brother, he keeps an eye on me.
Then he opened up the car door an’ stuck in his head ya see.

He says I’m this girls brother, what are you doing to her?
Go home to your mammy, ya sixteen year auld cur.

He had a great big woolie head, he was a savage of a man.
And in his right hand he had a great big guinness can.

He had far to much drink taken an’ he started for to mouth,
He drew out his left hand and gave me an awful a clouth.

Well the red head came between us, she says leave the chap alone.
Stand back, stand back he shouted I’m going to skin him to the bone.

Well I never will forget me first marque dance,
I went there the next night, never gave the girls a glance.
Never want to see that red head, o’ never no no more.
Cause you know her great big brother would lay cold out on the floor.
Cause you know that great big brother would lay cold out on the floor.

(Richie)..”Did ya ever see the red head since, Johnny?”
(Johnny)..”She was ”A Rale Humdinger” lad, I married her!”

(Richie)..”Yer codding”
(Johnny)..”I’m not.”

Summer dancing in Ireland was held in marquees up and down the country.

There were as many as 700 full and part-time bands, travelling the country in the mid-1960s.

By the mid-1970s the phenomenon had peaked and was in decline.

A combination of upscale discos, new build modern hotel dance and cabaret rooms with full bar extensions,

brought the Marquee Ballroom and Showband business to a close in the early 1980s.

 John Tyndall

( Waltz ) Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

John Tyndall was born in Carlow and a quar thing I’ll tell now to you.
He was the first man in all of the world to explain why the sky it is blue.
Born in the village of Leighlin his homestead is standing there still.
His good friend and teacher John Conwill, thought him there in the school on the hill.

John Tyndall was born in Carlow and a quar thing I’ll tell now to you.
He was the first man in all of the world to explain why the sky it is blue.
John was a great man of science and also a skilled mountaineer.
From humble beginnings in Leighlin, the science world he would domineer.

John Tyndall was born in Carlow and a quar thing I’ll tell now to you.
He was the first man in all of the world to explain why the sky it is blue.

Now his life it was full of adventure and he lived nearly three score and ten.
Many books he had written and published, sure he was a great man with a pen.

John Tyndall was born in Carlow and a quar thing I’ll tell now to you.
He was the first man in all of the world to explain why the sky it is blue.

He was a great man of learning and a great educationalist too.

John Tyndall the Carlow physicist is remembered by many as the man who first explained why the sky is blue.

This discovery, known as the Tyndall effect, proves the skies blue colour results from the scattering of the Suns rays by molecules in the atmosphere.

 Me Little Jack Russell

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

I had a Jack Russell for 15 years or more,
And he never would let anybody inside of the door.
He was a little devil, a woeful dog to bark,
And when he’d show his teeth he was like a little Shark.

Well he’d wake you in the morning, he’d be barking at the cat.
And when he’d ate his breakfast, he’d lay there on the mat.
He’d be waiting for the Postman, he’d never let him past.
He didn’t like the postman, he’d want to bite his ass.

Chorus

I had a Jack Russell for 15 years or more,
And he never would let anyone inside of the door.
He was a little devil, a woeful dog to bark,
And when he’d show his teeth he was like a little Shark.

Me old Jack Russell, he didn’t have no fear.
If he heard a sound he’d always cock his ear.
He’d make you feel so safe, in the bed at night.
When Jack was outside you’d know everything was right.

Chorus

I had a Jack Russell for 15 years or more,
And he never would let anyone inside of the door.
He was a little devil, a woeful dog to bark,
And when he’d show his teeth he was like a little Shark.

Well he’d wake you in the morning, he’d be barking at the cat.
And when he’s ate his breakfast he’d lay there on the mat.
He’d be waiting for the Postman, he’d never let him past.
He didn’t like the postman, he’d want to bite his ass.

Chorus

I had a Jack Russell for 15 years or more,
And he never would let anyone inside of the door.
He was a little devil, a woeful dog to bark,
And when he’d show his teeth he was like a little Shark.
A little Jack Russell a woeful dog to bark.

The small terriers we know today, were first bred by the Reverend Jack Russell. A parson and hunting enthusiast born in 1795, they can trace their origin to the now extinct English White terrier.

I Love The Smell Of Silage

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

Oh I love the smell of silage, sure I cut it every year.
I jump upon me tractor and I slap her into gear.
Tearing down the road with me trailer full of grass.
And all the cars caught behind me raring for to pass.

Oh raring, raring, raring, raring for to pass.
All the cars caught behind driving up me ass.

“Isn’t that right Johnny, that’s right, that’s the truth”.

If you want to cut the silage you need the best of gear.
The greatest yoke of all, a self propelled John Deere.
She gobbles up the grass ten acres in an hour.
She is a woeful harvester with plenty of horse power.

Chorus

Oh I love the smell of silage, sure I cut it every year.
I jump upon me tractor and I slap her into gear.
Tearing down the road, with me trailor full of grass.
And all the cars caught behind me raring for to pass.
Oh raring, raring, raring, raring for to pass.
All the cars caught behind driving up me ass.

Oh the young lads on the tractors, they’ll be tearing all about.
Driving 4 wheel drives, to draw the trailer’s out.
Racing through the fields, heading for the yard.
Up and down along the road, going woefull hard.

Chorus

Oh I love the smell of silage sure I cut it every year.
I jump upon me tractor and I slap her into gear.
Tearing down the road with me trailor full of grass.
And all the cars caught behind me raring for to pass.

Oh raring, raring, raring, raring for to pass
All the cars caught behind me driving up me ass.

If you want to cut the silage you need the best of gear.
The greatest yoke of all a self propelled John Deere.
She gobbles up the grass ten acres in an hour.
She is a woefull harvester with plenty of horse power.

Chorus

Oh I love the smell of silage sure I cut it every year.
I jump upon me tractor and I slap her into gear.
Tearing down the road with me trailer full of grass.
And all the cars caught behind me raring for to pass.

Oh raring, raring, raring, raring for to pass
All the cars caught behind me driving up me ass.

”I Love The Smell of Silage” has reached 1,086,911 MILLION Views on Facebook…..Thank you all.

Daddy’s Pocket

Lyrics and Music by Michael O’Neill and Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

Mammy thinks that Daddy’s pockets are very wide n’ deep.
Sometimes we all wonder if they go down to his feet.
Only Mammy knows what money Daddys got. 
And she won’t be happy til’ she spends the bleedy lot.

She drives a BMW and she has a mini too.
Always likes a swanky car, thats the thing too do. 
Always buying everything, every kind of yoke. 
The way that Mammy’s going, I think she’ll soon have Daddy broke.

Chorus

(OH) Mammy thinks that Daddy’s pockets are very wide n’ deep.
Sometimes we all wonder if they go down to his feet. 
Only Mammy knows what money Daddy’s got. 
And she won’t be happy till she spends the bleedy lot.

Mammy brings us now to Disneyland upon our holidays.
We can go on everything Mammy always pays.
Mammy is the greatest, the greatest of them all.
And Daddy doesn’t mind how much she ever spends at all.

Chorus

(OH) Mammy thinks that Daddy’s pockets are very wide n’ deep.
Sometimes we all wonder if they go down to his feet.
Only Mammy knows what money Daddy’s got.
And she won’t be happy till she spends the bloody lot.

Mammy goes now to the races few times every year.
Always likes to dress up in her fancy gear.
Mammy loves a flutter, always likes a bet.
She never wins a’tall, but Daddy never seems ta fret.

Chorus

(OH) Mammy thinks that Daddy’s pockets are very wide n’ deep.
Sometimes we all wonder if they go down to his feet.
Only Mammy knows what money Daddy’s got. 
And she won’t be happy till’ she spends the bleedy lot.

Me Wife’s Auld Melodion

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Me wife was in bad form, by night and by day.
In the morning to the bedroom, I brought her some tae.
Says I what is wrong, is it something I’m doing. 
Says she no me melodion, has gone out of tune.

Chorus

(OH) My wifes auld melodion was gone out of tune.
She sent for Pat Fagan, who came around soon.
He played diddly -i – doe – row – dal – do – ride – dal – day. 
Thats how Pat Fagan stole my wife away.

It was Monday morning, when Fagan came ‘round.
I was off working, trying to make a few pound.
He was at her melodion, all throughout the day.
Fixed up her melodion and would take no pay.

Chorus

(OH) My wifes auld melodion was gone out of tune.
She sent for Pat Fagan, who came around soon.
He played diddly -i – doe – row – dal – do – ride – dal – day.
That how Pat Fagan, stole my wife away.

I worked over time, I was home very late. 
Fagan’s auld bike, was still outside the gate. 
There was wine on the table and logs on the fire.
And my wife she was wearing a skimpy a tire.

Chorus

(OH) My wifes auld melodion was gone out of tune. 
She sent for Pat Fagan, who came around soon.
He played diddly -i – doe – row – dal – do – ride – dal – da. 
Thats how Pat Fagan, stole my wife away.

The same thing was happening, day in and day out. 
Says I to me wife, now whats this all about.
She says me melodion, now he likes to play.
And thats why Pat Fagan, calls ’round every day.

Chorus

(OH) My wifes auld melodion was gone out of tune.
She sent for Pat Fagan, who came around soon.
He played diddly -i – doe – row – dal – do – ride – dal – day. 
An’ thats how Pat Fagan, stole my wife away.

(OH) many a tune he played on her melodion.
An’ thats how Pat Fagan sale my wife away.

The earliest instrument is said to be the Aeolidicon made by Eisenach in Hamburg in 1800.

The Melodeon fingering system is still basically the same today.

The instrument has a naturally rhythmic sound and has been absorbed into traditional music worldwide.

God Bless Ya, God Save Ya

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

(OH) Granny tauld me stories, when I was very small.
Her lovely way of talking, ye don’t hear now a’tall.
God bless ye, God save ye n’ God leave you your health.
Who wants ta be a millionaire, your health me boys your wealth.

‘Stay wut her Johnny, stay out her”

A timbleman, a comeran, a real cute hur.
A cobbledy dick ye’d never want to let inside your door.
A thin win, a harsh day, a horrid auld mist. 
An east wind is neither good for man nor’ beast.

Chorus

(OH) Granny tauld me stories, when I was very small.
Her lovely way of talking, ye don’t hear now a’tall.
God bless ye, God save ye n’ God leave you your health.
Who wants ta be a millionaire, your health me boys your wealth

“And the first time granny seen a television this is what she said”

Was kind of a sorta of a yoke ya know, a kind of a sort of a yoke.
A what ya ma call, what ye ma call, it a kind of a sort of a yoke. 
A kind of a sort of a yoke ya know, a kind of a sort of a yoke. 
Ah be gor it surely was a kinda a sorta of a yoke.

Chorus

(OH) Granny tauld me stories, when I was very small.
Her lovely way of talking, ye don’t hear now a’tall.
God bless ye. God save ye n’ God leave you your health.
Who wants ta be a millionaire, your health me boys your wealth.

A timbleman, a comeran, a real cute hur.
A cobbled dick ye’d never want to let inside your door.
A thin wind, a harsh day, a horrid auld mist. 
An east wind is neither good for man nor’ beast.

Chorus

(OH) Granny tauld me stories, when I was very small.
Her lovely way of talking, ye don’t hear know a’tall.
God bless ye, God save ye n’ God leave you your wealth.
Who wants ta be a millionaire, your health me boys your wealth.

 

The Borris Fair

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh
Chorus

On the fifteenth day of August, a everyone is there.
They come from miles around, a ta the Borris fair.

There’s all kinds of tinkers, dalers and conmen.
And even three card tricks, a game thats hard to win.

Its there you’ll see the faces, of the friends from long ago.
Some of them have changed so much, begor you’d hardly know.

Ah when you started talking, the memories they come back.
Of great fairs now in Borris, the dalein’ and the crack.

“Stay wut herJohnny, stay wut her’’

The imigrants they come home, from far across the sea.
Ah Borris on the fifteenth, that’s the place to be.

A great day for the children, ice cream and the like.
Me daddy used to bring me on the bar of the bike.

If your looking for a jackass, a puckan or a pony.
The tinker man he has them all, if you have the money.

CD, tapes and videos an’ loads of old brick back.
Your sure to get a good dale, if you have the dealing back.

Hundreds of buyers, sellers and spectators descend on the Carlow village of Borris.

The Borris fair, which is held every year on August 15th, the feast of the Assumption.

It is believed to date back to a 400-year-old charter, granted by Queen Elizabeth I.

Up The Road

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie) “Johnny were ya good at the riddles going to school”
(Johnny) “I was’ent too bad lad” (Richie) “Right listen to this…”

What goes up the road and down the road over the road and back the road,

An’ never touches no part of the road at all?
What goes up the road and down the road over the road and back the road,
An’ never touches no part of the road at all?

(Johnny) I think I know now what it is, I know the answer of your quiz.
Sure that auld thing is as auld as sin, I think its an egg inside of a hen.

(Richie) “No Johnny, no your wrong. Listen, listen to the auld song Johnny, listen.”

(Richie) What goes up the road and down the road over the road and back the road,
An’ never touches no part of the road at all?
What goes up the road and down the road over the road and back the road,
An never touches no part of the road at all?

(Johnny) I think this time I am in luck, I think its a egg inside of a duck.
Me Granny taught me all them rhymes, years ago in the good auld times.

(Richie) “No Johnny, your wrong again. Listen to it again, we’ll give ya another chance, listen Lad.”

(Richie) What goes up the road and down the road over the road and back the road,
An’ never touches no part of the road at all?

What goes up the road and down the road over the road and back the road<
An’ never touches no part of the road at all?

(Johnny) “Its quar hard lad, sing it again”

(Richie) What goes up the road and down the road over the road and back the road,
An’ never touches no part of the road at all?

What goes up the road and down the road over the road and back the road,
An’ never touches no part of the road at all?

(Richie) I think I’ll have to give ya a clue. With a job like this, yad have little ta do.
Just move around now and again….

(Johnny) Be jabores I think its the council men.
(Richie) Well done Johnny, yer a good one.

(Richie) They go up the road and down the road over the road and back the road,
An’ never touch no part of the road at all.

They go up the road and down the road over the road and back the road,
An’ never touch no part of the road at all.

(Richie) They go up the road and down the road over the road and back the road,
An’ never touch no part of the road at all.
They go up the road and down the road over the road and back the road,
An’ never touch no part of the road at all.

(Richie) They go up the road and down the road over the road and back the road,
An’ never touch no part of the road at all.

They go up the road and down the road over the road and back the road,
An’ never touch no part of the road at all.
(Richie) Up the road and down the road over the road and back the road.

An’ never touch no part of the road at all.
They go up the road and down the road over the road and back the road,

An’ never touch no part of the road at all.

 

Captain Myles Keogh

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Myles Keogh lost his life at the Little Bighorn.
A long ways from Carlow, the place he was born.

After the battle the were counting the dead.
When the came to Myles Keogh, this red indian he said.

This man rode a horse with feathered white feet,
He was a brave man, he was hard to defeat.

His men rallied round him, they all knew the drill.
But they all died together, on Last Stand Hill.

Myles Keogh a commander at Custers last stand.
When thousands of indians, swamp’ed over the land.

Sitting Bull, Crazy Horse, Lakota, Cheyenne.
The great Seventh Cavalry they soon over ran.

Myles Keogh rode a horse with feathered white feet.
He was a brave man, he was hard to defeat.

His men rallied round him, they all knew the drill.
But they all died together on Last Stand Hill.

The only thing living, the only thing found.
Was Keoghs horse Comanche, alive on the ground.

They all stepped together, to the great Garryowen.
Now their memory forever, is engraved there in stone.

Myles Keogh rode a horse with feathered white feet.
He was a brave man, he was hard to defeat.

His men rallied round him, they all knew the drill.
But the all died together on Last Stand Hill.

Myles Keogh was born in Orchard House, Leighlinbridge, County Carlow on 25 March 1840.

He served as a cavalry officer during the Gettysburg Campaign. After the war, he remained in the regular United States Army as commander of Company I, in the 7th Cavalry Regiment under George Armstrong Custer. He died along with Custer and all of his men at the Battle of the Little Big Horn on June 25 1876. Keogh’s horse, Comanche, is considered the only military survivor of the battle.

Our Anniversary is Today

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

(Johnny) “How long do you know the wife now lad?”

Chorus

Our Anniversary is today,
I love’s her still in the same auld way.

She is me darling, she’s me true love,
She is me turtle dove.

The first time I saw her was across the dance floor.
I knew I’d never seen her there before.

Her lovely smile her hair it did shine.
I knew then her love would be mine.

Chorus

Our Anniversary is today,
I love’s her still in the same auld way.

She is me darling, she’s me true love,
She is me turtle dove.

I brought her home on the bar of the bike.
She lived in Clonmore it was a long hike.

I cycled home by the light of the moon.
We were married the following June.

Chorus

Our Anniversary is today.
I love’s her still in the same auld way.

She is me darling, she’s me true love,
She is me turtle dove.

Well we brought up the children, though the money was tight.
We all pulled together said our prayers every night.
Through the good times, the bad times, the happy, the sad.
A better woman no man ever had.

Chorus

Our Anniversary is today.
I love’s her still in the same auld way.

She is me darling, she’s me true love,
She is me turtle dove.

Now we’er taking it easy, we’er taking our time.
We’er slowly maturing like a bottle of wine.

And we’ve been saving the best till the last.
To the future, the present, the past.

Chorus

Our Anniversary is today.
I love’s her still in the same auld way.

She is me darling, she’s me true love,
She is me turtle dove.

 

The Disney Gravestone

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

There’s a churchyard in Carlow, near a broken down house.
Where lie the ancestors of the great Mickey Mouse.
Walt Disney’s forefathers lie under long grass.
Gravestone unnoticed by people who pass.

A Disney left Ireland, sailed over the sea.
Could never have dream’ent what was going to be.

That one of his family, not now very soon.
Would make a great fortune, from a classic cartoon.

Chorus

There’s a churchyard in Carlow, near a broken down house.
Where lie the ancestors of the great Mickey Mouse.

Walt Disney’s forefathers lie under long grass.
Gravestone unnoticed by people who pass.

Ub Iwerks drew Mickey and brought him to life.
The name Mickey Mouse was thought up by Walt’s wife.

Walt Disney was Mickey’s voice on the screen.
The greatest cartoon, that ever has been.

Chorus

There’s a churchyard in Carlow, near a broken down house.
Where lie the ancestors of the great Mickey Mouse.

Walt Disney’s forefathers lie under long grass.
Gravestone unnoticed by people who pass.

It’s sad now that no one would bodder at all.
To clean up the churchyard or fix up the wall.

Clean up the gravestone with the family name.
Disney’s from Carlow, who reached such great fame.

Chorus

There’s a churchyard in Carlow near a broken down house.
Where lie the ancestors of the great Mickey Mouse.

Walt Disney’s forefathers lie under long grass.
Gravestone unnoticed by people who pass.

Walt Disney’s Irish ancestors are buried in Clonmelsh graveyard, Ballyloo, Co Carlow.

The all-star graveyard also boasts the family of Pierce Butler, one of the men who signed the American Constitution.

Never Say Ow!  ( How To Milk A COW )

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

A quar thing I’ll tell you about a cow now.
You can pull all her tit’s, but she’ll never say Ow!
Never say Ow! Oh never say Ow!
You can pull all her tit’s, but she’ll never say Ow!

Me granny, she thought me how to milk a cow.
Sit down there young man an’ I’ll show you how.

Pull one tit, pull two tit’s, pull three and pull four.
Then start with tit one and just do like before.

Chorus

A quar thing I’ll tell you about a cow now.
You can pull all her tit’s, but she’ll never say Ow!

Never say Ow! Oh never say Ow!
You can pull all her tit’s, but she’ll never say Ow!

The cow’s love life is so very dull.
The A.I. man now replace’s the bull.

There’s noting on earth the cow she can do.
Look over the gate and just give a big Moo.

Chorus

A quar thing I’ll tell you about a cow now.
You can pull all her tit’s, but she’ll never say Ow!

Never say Ow! Oh never say Ow!
You can pull all her tit’s, but she’ll never say Ow!

(Richie) “Stay wut her Johnny”
(Johnny) “That’s right that’s the truth, lie on her head lad, lie on head”

She likes to be out in the field every day.
There’s no buttercups, they’re all killed with spray.

She grazes the grass, in the field o’ so green.
But there’s no buttercups or wildflowers to be seen.

Chorus

A quar thing I’ll tell you about a cow now.
You can pull all her tit’s, but she’ll never say Ow!

Never say Ow! Oh never say Ow!
You can pull all her tit’s, but she’ll never say Ow!

(Johnny) “Stay wut her lad”
Oh never say Ow! never say Ow!
You can pull all her tit’s, but she’ll never say Ow!
Never say Ow! Oh never say Ow!
You can pull all her tit’s, but she’ll never say Ow!

(Richie) “The crater has a very long face Johnny”.

(Johnny) “Yes ’cause she never gets the bull. The A.I. man does the job,  a quar go an too”.

 

Paddy’s Day

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Saint Patrick came to Ireland, in four thirty two.
He tried to make a christan out a me an’ out a you.

Held up a bit of shamrock, frightened all the snakes away.
And that’s why we still celabrate Paddys Day.

Paddys Day, A Paddys Day.
We’er going to have the craic and put a few pints away.

We march down the town with the shamrock on our chest.
Cause we are all Irish and us Irish are best.

Paddy, Paddy, Paddy, Paddy, Paddy’s Day.
A Paddy, Paddy, Paddy, Paddy, Paddy’s Day.

He lit a pascal fire upon the hill of Slane.
The Tara king he saw it and nearly went insane.

Very soon Saint Patrick the king he did convert.
Thats why we still have people a’ praying down in Clonfert.

A Paddy, Paddy, Paddy, Paddy, Paddy’s Day.
A Paddy, Paddy, Paddy, Paddy, Paddy’s Day.

Saint Patrick came to Ireland, in four thirty two.
He tried to make a christan out a me an out a you.

Held up a bit of shamrock frightened all the snakes away.
And that’s how we still celabrate Paddys Day.

Paddys Day, A Paddys Day.
We’er going to have the craic and put a few pints away.
We march down the town with the shamrock on our chest.
Cause we are all Irish and us Irish are best.

A Paddy, Paddy, Paddy, Paddy, Paddy’s Day.
A Paddy, Paddy, Paddy, Paddy, Paddy’s Day.

Saint Patrick came to Ireland, in four thirty two.
He tried to make a christan out a me an out a you.

Held up a bit of shamrock, frightened all the snakes away.
And that’s how we still celabrate Paddys Day.

Paddys Day, A Paddys Day.
We’er going to have the craic and put a few pints away.

We march down the town with the shamrock on our chest.
Cause we are all Irish and us Irish are best.

A Paddy, Paddy, Paddy, Paddy, Paddy’s Day.
A Paddy, Paddy, Paddy, Paddy, Paddy’s Day.

“There are only two kinds of people in the world,” an Irish saying goes.

“The Irish and those who wish they were.” 

Saint Patrick’s Day or the Feast of Saint Patrick is a cultural and religious celebration held on 17 March.

The Gordon Bennett Race

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

A Hundred years ago today, in nineteen hundred and three.
The Gordon Bennett race, it was a sight to see.

Jenatzy was the winner in six hours thirty nine.
In a sixty horse Mercedes, he had the fastest time.

The starting point was Kilrush, just outside Athy.
Cars sped off driving dust up in the sky.

Open to all nations, cars of every make.
Tearing down the road, leaving zig zag marks in there wake.

Chorus

A Hundred years ago today in nineteen hundred and three.
The Gordon Bennett race, it was a sight to see.

Jenatzy was the winner in six hours thirty nine.
In a sixty horse Mercedes, he had the fastest time.

Cars reach sixty five miles an hour on the Ballyshannon straight.
Where people paid a guinea for a roadside seat.

Ardscull Moat was crowded on the day.
From there you could see dust from cars three miles away.

Chorus

A Hundred years ago today in nineteen hundred and three.
The Gordon Bennett race, it was a sight to see.

Jenatzy was the winner in six hours thirty nine.
In a sixty horse Mercedes, he had the fastest time.

Mechanics had there work cut out, believe it or not.
Threw water on the tyres, because they got so hot.
Sensation of the day was the gorteen crossroads crash.
When a car broke its wheel and turned over with a smash.
Chorus

A Hundred years ago today, in nineteen hundred and three.
The Gordon Bennett race, it was a sight to see.

Jenatzy was the winner in six hours thirty nine.
In a sixty horse Mercedes, he had the fastest time.

Spoken,

(Richie) “Is’nt That right Johnny”.
(Johnny) “Thats right, thats the truth, Me Granddad told me all about it,

He said all the roadside hedges had to be cut.
They took the humps off the bridges and steam rolled all the roads”.
”And Thats the Truth, cause me Granddad ad know”

Chorus

A Hundred years ago today, in nineteen hundred and three.
The Gordon Bennett race, it was a sight to see.

Jenatzy was the winner in six hours thirty nine.
In a sixty horse Mercedes, he had the fastest time.

Jenatzy there behind the wheel, mechanic by his side.
Brought the Gordon Bennett cup to Germany with such pride.

Second place and Third, Panhards they were fast.
A Mors it was fourth and the Napier was last.

Chorus

A Hundred years ago today, in nineteen hundred and three.
The Gordon Bennett race, it was a sight to see.

Jenatzy was the winner in six hours thirty nine.
In a sixty horse Mercedes, he had the fastest time.
In a sixty horse Mercedes, he had the fastest time.

Gordon Bennett Cup Race Results 1903…..
1. Jenatzy (Mercedes), 6h39m at 49.2mph 2. De Knyff (Panhard), 6h50m 3. Farman (Panhard), 6h51m 4. Gabriel (Mors), 7h11m 5. Edge (Napier), 9h28m (disqualified)

 

Do You Really Love Your Mammy

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie) “Heres a little song about all the mammy’s in all the world”.

Do you really love your mammy, do you love her every day.
Cause you’ll never miss your mammy, till your mammy’s gone away.
When the good lord up in heaven, calls her to the golden gate.
Its then you’ll miss your mammy, but its then t’will be to late.

When you were a little baby, she was o’ so fond of you.
She would feed you night and morning and wash your little bottom too.

When you had your little windies, she knew just what to do.
And your gums when you were teething, she watched them all grow through.

And when first you went to school, she was there to hold your hand.
When you made your confirmation, sure she had you looking grand.

All the times you were in trouble, beside you she would stand.
On your twenty first a birthday, it was her who payed the band.

Now your courting days are over and you never more will roam.
She was o’ so very happy, when you bought your little home.

Now your children call her Granny, but she’s still your Mammy too.
And no matter what life brings you, Mammy always will love you.

Do you really love your mammy, do you love her every day.
Cause you’ll never miss your mammy, till your mammy’s gone away.

 

A Ferguson Tractor

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie) “Di ya remember the little Ferguson tractor Johnny?”
(Johnny) “The were a great little yoke, you start an I’ll join in”.

Chorus

Oh I am a little Ferguson, built so many years ago.
I was bought up in Dublin, at the RDS spring show.

I’m a lovely little tractor and I look so very cute.
Not like the tractor of today, that great big ugly brute.

Well they brought me home to Fenagh, in the County of Carlow.
And the first man to drive me, was Mickey’s Uncle Joe.

He put on his top coat and he jumped upon me sate.
Pulled back on the throttle and he flew out through the gate.

Chorus

Oh I am a little Ferguson, built so many years ago.
I was bought up in Dublin, at the RDS spring show.

I’m a lovely little tractor and I look so very cute.
Not like the tractor of today, that great big ugly brute.

All the auld lads started laughing and jeering now you see.
They said that auld black jackass was far better now then me.

But the jackass he is long since dead, his bones has turned to dust.
Here am I freshly painted would nare a speck a rust.

Chorus

Oh I am a little Ferguson, built so many years ago.
I was bought up in Dublin at the RDS spring show.
I’m a lovely little tractor and I look so very cute.
Not like the tractor of today, that great big ugly brute.

Oh where have all the years gone by, I’m parked here in the shed.
Poor auld Uncle Joe is inside crippled in the bed.

But every September until the man is dead.
He’ll grab his little walking aid an’ he’ll head up for the shed.

Chorus

Oh I am a little Ferguson, built so many years ago.
I was bought up in Dublin, at the RDS spring show.

I’m a lovely little tractor and I look so very cute.
Not like the tractor of today, that great big ugly brute.

He’ll check me oil and water he’ll shine and polish me.
Then he’ll bring me down to Fenagh, for everyone to see.
They’ll put him sitting on me sate, he looks so very proud.
As he drives me through the steam rally to the cheering of the crowed.

Chorus

Oh I am a little Ferguson, built so many years ago.
I was bought up in Dublin, at the RDS spring show.

I’m a lovely little tractor and I look so very cute.
Not like the tractor of today, that great big ugly brute.
Not like the tractor of today, that great big ugly brute.

The Ferguson TE20 is an agricultural tractor designed by Harry Ferguson.

By far his most successful design, it was manufactured from 1946 until 1956.

Commonly known as the ”Little Grey Fergie”. It is light-weight but effective, and a popular collectors item. 

A Little Bit Of Lastic

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

I’m a little bit of lastic an’ a little bit of lace.
I was made for to cover your important little place.

Lads try to get their hands on me and end up in disgrace.
I’m a little bit of lastic an’ a little bit of lace.

I come in all kinds of colours, every shape an size.
The one thing about me is the element of surprise.

Every monday morning, I’m hung out on the line
And left there all day, if the weather it is fine.

Chorus

I’m a little bit of lastic an’ a little bit of lace.
I was made for to cover your important little place.

Lads try to get their hands on me and end up in disgrace.
I’m a little bit of lastic an’ a little bit of lace.

Ah sure I’m hanging here upon the line all through out the day.
An’ as the lads pass by they all ways look my way.

Ya know now if I could talk to them such stories I could tell.
But I know the way the look at me, they know it all to well.

Chorus

I’m a little bit of lastic an’ a little bit of lace.
I was made for to cover your important little place.

Lads try to get their hands on me and end up in disgrace.
I’m a little bit of lastic an’ a little bit of lace.

(Richie) “Stay wut her Johnny, stat wut her”
(Johnny) “Thats right, thats the truth”

Now they make me much smaller, I hardly cover it at all.
A course the price is bigger, though I am very small.

Now when I get a bit torn, I know the end is near.
Though I hear that big Maggie, has the same one 20 year.

Chorus

I’m a little bit of lastic an’ a little bit of lace.
I was made for to cover your important little place.

Lads try to get their hands on me and end up in disgrace.
I’m a little bit of lastic an a little bit of lace.

 

A Travellin’ Man

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie) “Johnny, Are you going to sing a song?”

(Johnny) “I’m going to sing about a little Travellin’ Man an’ it goes something like this”

Chorus

Oh I am a little travellin’ man, some people calls me Tinker Dan.
I have a great big Hi-ace van.

An’ I buy an sell all that I can.
Will ya buy a bit a carpet an’ I’ll give it to ya chape.
Di ya want a radio, will ya buy an auld tape.
Sure I never coded no one, no time in me life.
Will ya buy a bit a carpet an’ I’ll give it to ya chape.
Di ya want a radio, will ya buy an auld tape.
Sure I never coded no one, no time in me life.

Well I was rared in a horse drawn van.
Me father was a cute little man.

We used to travel near an’ far.
With a pie ball horse an’ a little spring car.

Chorus

Oh I am a little travellin’ man.
Some people calls me Tinker Dan.

I have a great big Hi-ace van.
An’ I buy an’ sell all that I can.
Will ya buy a bit a carpet an’ I’ll give it to ya chape.
Di ya want a radio, will ya buy an auld tape.
Sure I never coded no one no time in me life.
Will ya buy a bit a carpet an’ I’ll give it to ya chape.
Di ya want a radio, will ya buy an auld tape.
Sure I never coded no one, no time in me life.

(Richie) “Stay wut her Johnny, stay wut her”

Ah the places we used to camp and stay.
Are all filled up with stones and clay.

We’er toult stay going now keep away.
Sure we can’t keep going till our dying day.

Chorus

Oh I am a little travellin’ man.
Some people calls me Tinker Dan.

I have a great big Hi-ace van.
An’ I buy an’ sell all that I can.
Will ya buy a bit a carpet an’ I’ll give it to ya chape.
Di ya want a radio, will ya buy an auld tape.
Sure I never coded no one, no time in me life.
Will ya buy a bit a carpet an’ I’ll give it to ya chape.
Di ya want a radio will ya buy an auld tape.
Sure I never coded no one, no time in me life.

Well me brother Mickey he’s the one.
If ya want a bit a tarmacadem done.

I’m not coding ya now, he’ll do a good job.
An he’ll only charge ya, a small few bob.

Chorus

Oh I am a little travellin’ man.
Some people calls me Tinker Dan.

I have a great big Hi-ace van.
An’ I buy an sell all that I can.
Will ya buy a bit a carpet an’ I’ll give it to ya chape.
Di ya want a radio will ya buy an auld tape.
Sure I never coded no one, no time in me life.
Will ya buy a bit a carpet an’ I’ll give it to ya chape.
Di ya want a radio will ya buy an auld tape
Sure I never coded no one, no time in me life.

Well me father toult me how to buy and sell.
I’m not coding ya boy I’m doing quar well.

I paid for me house and me Hi-ace van.
And I’m proud to be called a travellin’ man.

Chorus

Oh I am a little travellin’ man.
Some people calls me Tinker Dan.

I have a great big Hi-ace van.
An I buy an sell all that I can.
Will ya buy a bit a carpet an’ I’ll give it to ya chape.
Di ya want a radio will ya buy an auld tape.
Sure I never coded no one, no time in me life.
Will ya buy a bit a carpet an’ I’ll give it to ya chape.
Di ya want a radio will ya buy an auld tape.
Sure I never coded no one, no time in me life.
No I never coded no one, no time in me life.

(Johnny) “That’s The Truth”

 

 

The Carlow Fence

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

There never was a structure before now or since.
As unique and sturdy as the Carlow fence.
The upright on top was cut into a V.
For the end of the lentil to fit into you see.

Says Watson down in Fenagh, this granite fence I’m starting.
You’ll see it still beside the road down in Ballydarton.
All throughout the county, you’ll see this fence still.
Grand ones in Oak Park and up in Ballinakill.

Chorus

There never was a structure before now or since.
As unique and sturdy as the Carlow fence.
The upright on top was cut into a V.
For the end of the lentil to fit into you see.

Cleaved from a rock up out of the ground.
The cleaver worked the stone, wherever it was found.
With stone pick wedges plug and two feathers.
Simple tools but mighty tools, when the were worked together.

Chorus

There never was a structure before now or since.
As unique and sturdy as the Carlow fence.
The upright on top was cut into a V.
For the end of the lentil to fit into you see.

God bless the stone cutters for the lovely work they did.
Hard auld work for a small few quid.
A heritage in stone there forever more.
The lovely Carlow fence, a fence that I adore.

Chorus

There never was a structure before now or since.                                                                                                                                                                                                      As unique and sturdy as the Carlow fence.
The upright on top was cut into a V.
For the end of the lentil to fit into you see.

There never was a structure before now or since.
As unique and sturdy as the Carlow fence.
The upright on top was cut into a V.
For the end of the lentil to fit into you see.

This granite fence is a unique feature of the Carlow landscape – found nowhere else in the world.

It was erected mainly as a decorative fence around gardens and between fields.

I love My Juggernaut

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

Oh believe it or believe it not, I love me Juggernaut !!
I’ve been all over Ireland, to the North I’ve seen the lot.

I’m hauling great big bales of hay, I’m heading for Mayo.
With potholes all through Cavan, sure I’ll have to drive so slow.

In the morning I’m up early on the road at half past five.
The air is fresh and crispy boy it’s great to be alive.

I fall in behind a crawler put me foot down on the gas.
But the roads are to bumpy for me Juggernaut to pass.

Chorus

Oh believe it or believe it not i love me Juggernaut !!
I’ve been all over Ireland, to the North I’ve seen the lot.

I’m hauling great big bales of hay, I’m heading for Mayo.
With potholes all through Cavan, sure i’ll have to drive so slow.

(Johnny) “Breaker, Breaker, I’m looking for a copy”
(Richie) “10/4…This is big Rich’ come back”

(Johnny) “Ah, this is your auld pal Johnny”
(Richie) “A, Johnny what’s your 20”

I’m in the County Offaly and I’m awfully sorry now.
I broke the mirrors of me cab and I’d like to tell you how.

With sceachs, bows and bushes rubbing of me load.
I wish the county council would trim along the road.

Chorus

Oh believe it or believe it not I love me Juggernaut !!
I‘ve been all over Ireland, to the North I’ve seen the lot.

I’m hauling great big bales of hay, I’m heading for Mayo.
With potholes all through Cavan, sure I’ll have to drive so slow.

(Richie) “Come back Johnny, come back”

Some people call us Juggernaut’s, Artic’s or big trucks.
Some people even give us horrid dirty looks.

I know you’ve got your reasons, sometimes for to frown.
But did you ever try to drive a Scania through your town.

Chorus

Oh believe it or believe it not I love me Juggernaut !!
I’ve been all over Ireland to the North, I’ve seen the lot.

I’m hauling great big bales of hay, I’m heading for Mayo.
With potholes all through Cavan, sure I’ll have to drive so slow.

(Richie) “Stay wut her Johnny, stay wut her”
(Johnny ) “That’s right, that’s the truth, rev’er on the corners”

(Richie) “And face her for Mount Leinster”

I know I swing me volvo all around your market square.
I know that you think lorry drivers we just don’t care.

But the streets are so narrow, built so many years ago.
They were built for horses carts, not juggernauts you know.

Chorus

Oh believe it or believe it not I love me juggernaut!!
I’ve been all over Ireland, to the North I’ve seen the lot.

I’m hauling great big bales of hay, I’m heading for Mayo.
With potholes all through Cavan, sure I’ll have to drive so slow.

(Richie) “Come back Johnny, come back, we’ll leave the last one to you”

I’m in the County Offaly and I’m awfully sorry now.
I broke the mirrors off me cab and I’d like to tell you how.

With sceachs, bows and bushes the council will not cut.
When I get back to the depot, the boss will do his nut.
Oh when I get back to the depot, the boss will do his nut.

 

The Pothole Song

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie) “Heres a little song about the holiest country in all the world “

“Holy Ireland”
“Is’aint that right Johnny?”
(Johnny) “Thats Right, Thats The Truth, you start an I’ll join in”

(Richie) “Right Johnny, here we go……”

Now they call us holy Ireland, great big potholes everywhere.
If your going out a driving, make sure and bring the spare.
Ah me little back suspension, goes bobbing up and down.
Even though I pay me road tax, they treat me like a clown.

There’s big ones, there’s little ones, there’s some a duck could swim.
And if you hit a bad one, you’ll soon be on the rim.
You can go and get your puncher fixed, there’s no-one from to claim.
You can ask your county counsellor, but he wont take the blame.

Chorus

So they call us holy Ireland, great big potholes everywhere.
If your going out a driving, make sure and bring the spare.
Ah me little back suspension, goes bobbing up and down.
Even though I pay me road tax, they treat me like a clown.

(Richie) “Now Johnny, its your turn”
(Johnny) “Thats Right, Thats The Truth”

They send out a great big lorry, with three fellows in the back.
A little barrel a tar and a few chipping in a sack.
They’re hunting for the potholes, but they don’t get very far.
After filling twenty holes, they get run out of tar.

Chorus

So they call us holy Ireland, great big potholes everywhere.
If your going out a driving, make sure and bring the spare.
Ah me little back suspension, goes bobbing up and down.
Even though I pay me road tax, they treat me like a clown.

So the head back for the depot, but they’re told to go away.
The ganger man says one barrel supposed to last all day.
Now I don’t blame the council men, their back is to the wall.
I blame them fancy fellows sitting down there in the Dail.

Chorus

So they call us holy Ireland, great big potholes everywhere.
If your going out a driving, make sure and bring the spare.
Ah me little back suspension, goes bobbing up and down.
Even though I pay me road tax, they treat me like a clown.

Now when there’s an election, they’ll come knocking at your door.
Says you I remember you, you were here before.
You said ya’d fill the potholes, you treat me like a goat.
If you fill up the potholes, then I’ll give you me vote.

Chorus

Now they call us holy Ireland, great big potholes everywhere.
If your going out a driving, make sure and bring the spare.
Ah me little back suspension, goes bobbing up and down.
Even though I pay me road tax, they treat me like a clown.
Even though you pay your road tax, they treat you like a clown.

(Johnny) “Thats Right, Thats The Truth”

 

In 1990s Ireland …. Potholes were  common on rural roads but councils always made the same excuse for not repairing them:

“We haven’t got the money.”

Johnny is a Bachelor

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

Oh Johnny is a bachelor and I’d like to tell ya why,
He loves and kissed all the girls but he’s quick to say goodbye.

Did you every sleep with a woman or would it be a sin?
I wouldn’t be sure for certain, I might have dosed off now and again.

Well the first girl that Johnny knew, I think her name was Mary.
I loved this girl dearly but her face was awful hairy.
One night I tried to court her in my little Morris van.
But when I went to feel her leg, I found out she was a man.

Chorus

Well the next girl that Johnny knew her name was little Sue.
In me Morris Minor she knew just what to do.

Every time ya’d kiss her she’d squeeze you oh so tight.
Oh Sue was a great auld court, she’d keep you out half the night.

Chorus

Well the next girl that Johnny knew her name it was Kathleen.
And she was the grandest girl that you had every seen.

One night in me Morris Minor, she said she’d take a chance.
Now her brothers an’ her sisters are all Uncles and Aunts.

Chorus

Well the last girl that Johnny knew her name it was big Maggie.
I love this girl dearly but her hair was awful jaggy.

One night she proposed to me beside a bale of hay.
That was a year ago and I’m regretting every day.

Last Chorus

Oh Johnny is a not bachelor and I’d like to tell ya why.

He loved and kissed big Maggie but he was slow to say goodbye.
What’s it like to sleep with Maggie, I asked him with a grin.

To hell with her hundred acres, I wish I was a single man again.
Oh to hell with her hundred acres, I wish I was a single man again.

 

Mick The Tent

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

He was known all over Ireland, everywhere he went.
His name it was Mick Donohue, but they called him Mick the Tent.
If you wanted a marquee for hire, there was no better man.
Sure he travelled all of Ireland, in his little Hi-Ace van.

He started running dances in the hall in Garryhill.
And every night a biscuit tin with money he would fill.
He saved up all the shillings and bought his first marquee.

The showbands there up on the stage, they were a sight to see.

The marquees then were all the go, there were dances everywhere.
At all the fairs and festivals, sure Mick you’d find him there.
He worked from early morning, late into the night.

Always making sure that every job was finished right.

He always kept the best of tents, most of them brand new.
For all kinds of occasions and for every kind of do.
At the National Ploughing Championships and other big events. 
Mick the man from Garryhill, would supply all the tents.

On the day that Mick he died, up to Heaven now he went.
St. Peter opened up the gates, says he ‘’yer welcome Mike the Tent’’.
Says Mick, ’’ I’m glad to meet you Boss’’, then with a great big grin.
“If I was to live me life once more, I’d Do The Same Again.”

“Is’ent that Right Johnny?”
“That’s right, that’s the truth”

And the song he used to always sing was Phil the Fluthers Ball.

“Is’ent that Right Johnny?”

“That’s right, that’s the truth”

And the song he used to always sing was Phil the Fluthers Ball.

Donohue Marquees is one of Ireland’s longest established Marquee Hire companies.
Founded 40 years ago, Donohue Marquees are one of the most respected customised marquee providers in Ireland.

 

Rev’er On The Corners

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

I never had a rally car since or before,
Like the Mark 2 Escort, that I bought in ’84.
She was almost 10 years auld and had seen better days.
You’d rev’er on the corners, and drive her straight side ways.

Rev’er, rev’er, rev’er on the corners and driver her straight side ways.
You’d rev’er on the corners and drive her straight side ways.

O rev’er, rev’er, rev’er on the corners and driver her straight side ways.
You’d rev’er on the corners and drive her straight side ways.

The first time that I saw her, I knew what I had to do.
Strip her down completely and build her up brand new.
She was the square edge version, that appered in ’75.
The greatest car ever made, be the holy man alive.

Rev’er, rev’er, rev’er on the corners and driver her straight side ways.
You’d rev’er on the corners and drive her straight side ways.

O rev’er, rev’er, rev’er on the corners and driver her straight side ways.
You’d rev’er on the corners and drive her straight side ways.

“You’re a good one Johnny, yer a good one, she’s looking quare well now lad”
“That’s right now, she’s going quare well, she’s going like a clock”

She has a Middleton Diamond Engine, it is a 2.4.
With a Weber carburettor, sure you couldn’t ask for more.
She has a great back axle and brand new KONI Shocks.
A sturdy 6 speed gear box, that I call ”The Auld dog Box”

Rev’er, rev’er, rev’er on the corners and driver her straight side ways.
You’d rev’er on the corners and drive her straight side ways.
O rev’er, rev’er, rev’er on the corners and driver her straight side ways.
You’d rev’er on the corners and drive her straight side ways.

The squarer-styled Mark II version appeared in January 1975.

The first production models had rolled off the production lines on 2 December 1974.

As with its predecessor, the Mark II had a successful rallying career.

Mickey’s Buckin’ Ass

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh.

Chorus

Oh Me Uncle Micky had a buckin’ ass.
This buckin’ ass you know was awful crass.
He was the biggest buckin’ ass, the finest buckin’ ass,
The wildest buckin’ ass in Ireland.
Chorus
Well he bought the buckin ass in Tullamore,
From a man that he never seen before.
He brought it home that day, was in the month of May.
Sure he said, he’d have him for to mow the hay.

Chorus

Oh Me Uncle Mickey had a buckin’ ass.
This buckin’ ass you know was awful crass.
He was the biggest buckin’ ass, the finest buckin’ ass,
The wildest buckin’ ass in Ireland.

Well he yoked the ass up to the cart.
And then the holy ructions it did start.
Well he bucked it in the air and he bucked it all around.
Till he smashed the buckin’ cart upon the ground.

Chorus

There was a donkey darby up in Naas.
And Mickey said we’ll surley win the race.
But he was out of luck, the ass he ran amuck.
So they put the bugger back into the truck.

Then Uncle Mickey got so very crass.
He says your an’ awful buckin’ ass.
But you’ll buck around no more, like you used to do before.
Cause I’m going to bring you back to Tullamore.

Chorus

Oh Me Uncle Mickey had a buckin’ ass.
This buckin’ ass you know was awful crass.
He was the biggest buckin’ a’ the finest buckin’ ass.
The wildest buckin’ ass in Ireland.
He was the biggest buckin’ a’ the finest buckin’ ass.
The wildest buckin’ ass in Ireland.

Irish Book / Focal Leabhair

”A little song to get you started learning the Gaelic”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh.

Chorus

‘This is a song about an Irish dictionary’
‘That’s right, a word book, a focal leabhair”

Oh get out your focal leabhair, get out your focal leabhair.
And we’ll have you speaking Irish in a half an hour.
Sea means yes and Níl means no.
Get out your focal leabhair and we’ll all have a go.

The sweets that you chaw, there called a milseáin.
A motorcar used to be a gluaisteán.
Tíg is house and doras is door.
Buy a focal leabhair and you’ll learn a lot more.

Chorus

Oh get out your focal leabhair, get out your focal leabhair.
And we’ll have you speaking Irish in a half an hour.
Sea means yes and Níl means no.
Get out your focal leabhair and we’ll all have a go.

If someone says to you, Conas ate tú?
What they’re saying in English is, how are you?
Slán leat is how you say goodbye.
Amoch faoin spéir, is under the sky,

Chorus

Oh get out your focal leabhair, get out your focal leabhair.
And we’ll have you speaking Irish in a half an hour.
Sea means yes and Níl means no.
Get out your focal leabhair and we’ll all have a go.

In school if you ever wanted to go to the loo.
This bit of Irish will be handy to you.
Cad a gum dul amach, ma se do hulla.
The teacher’s asleep, Tá an múinteoir ina chodladh.

Chorus

Oh get out your focal leabhair, get out your focal leabhair.
And we’ll have you speaking Irish in a half an hour.
Sea means yes and Níl means no.
Get out your focal leabhair and we’ll all have a go.

“Hay lad, do you see this?
A bathroom is a seomra folctha”
“A what?” “seomrc folctha”
“Will you hold your whist Johnny,
Or you’ll get us all in trouble again”.

If you don’t know the girl that you’re dancing with.
Just ask her her name, Cad is ainm duit?
When you leave her home and she holds you tight.
Oíche mhaith, is how you say good night.

Chorus

Oh get out your focal leabhair, get out your focal leabhair.
And we’ll have you speaking Irish in a half an hour.
Sea means yes and Níl means no.
Get out your focal leabhair and we’ll all have a go.

”A little song to get you started learning the Gaelic”

Life Is Like A See-Saw

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

(OH) Life is like a see-saw, it has its ups and downs.
Sometimes it brings us happy smiles, sometimes it makes us frown.
When your up, your up and when your down your down.
So when your up, you know what, you really go ta town.

Your always in a hurry, ya haven’t time ta wait.
Ye slam the door behind ye and run out through the gate.
Your planning for the future, your trying to get in shape.
And when you think your really right, ye end up in a heap.

Chorus

(OH) Life is like a see-saw, it has its ups and downs.
Sometimes it brings us happy smiles, sometimes it makes us frown.
When your up, your up and when your down your down.
So when your up, you know what, you really go ta town.

Ye think ye are the bees knees, their’s no one else like you.
Your so proud of yourself, ye don’t know what ta do.
Your spending loads of money, what ye haven’t earned yet.
And when ye cannot pay it back, its then ye start ta fret.

Chorus

(OH) Life is like a see-saw, it has its ups and downs.
Sometimes it brings us happy smiles, sometimes it makes us frown. 
When your up, your up and when your down, your down.
So when your up you know what, ye really go ta town.

We all have fancy plastic cars, a handy way ta spend.
Don’t forget the bank wants back every thing they lend.
At Christmas time and holidays, its great ta have a card.
But when ya cannot pay it back, your really up the yard.

Chorus

(OH) Life is like a see-saw, it has its ups and downs.
Sometimes it brings us happy smiles, sometimes it makes us frown.
When your up, your up and when your down, your down. 
So when your up you know what, ye really go ta town.
So up or down, ye know what, ye really upside down!!.

Once in a Blue Moon

 Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

Once in a blue moon, once in a blue moon.
What’s a blue moon, what’s a blue moon.
Two full moons in the one month.
That’s what they call a blue moon.

I look at the heavens, the heavens above.
Think of the girl, the girl that I love.
Her eyes they sparkle, like stars in the sky.
Hope she comes back bye and bye.

Chorus

Once in a blue moon, once in a blue moon.
What’s a blue moon, what’s a blue moon.
Two full moons in the one month. 
That’s what they call a blue moon.

Waiting, her phone call, hope she rings soon.
She only rings me once in a blue moon.
I keep on waiting and hoping you see.
One day she’ll come back to me.

Chorus

Once in a blue moon, once in blue moon.
What’s a blue moon, what’s blue moon.
Two full moons in the one month.
That’s what they call a blue moon.

Blue, blue, blue, blue moon. 
Blue, blue, blue, blue moon.
I keep on waiting and hoping you see.
One day she’ll come back to me.

Blue, blue, blue, blue moon.
Blue, blue, blue, blue moon.
Two full moons in the one month.
That’s what they call a moon.
Blue, blue, blue, blue moon.

Once in a Blue Moon, is a common way of saying not very often, but what exactly is a Blue Moon?

According to the popular definition, it is the second Full Moon to occur in a single calendar month.

Grannie Used Ta Jig

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

(OH) When I was just a little lad, we were so very poor.
But we had woofull gallery there upon the kitchen floor.
We didn’t have a penny, we didn’t give a frig. 
‘Cos we had lovely music, when me granny start ta jig.

She’d go skiddery-I-skiddery-I-skiddery-idle-do
She’d go skiddery-I-skiddery-I-skiddery-idle-da
She’d go skiddery-I-skiddery-I-skiddery-idle-do
She’d go skiddery-Idley-diddly-idley-dory-idle-da

Granny always wore her hair tied up in a bun.
Her teeth they were very scarce, she had nare a one.
On Sunday she went ta mass in her asses cart.
The ass was quicker for ta stop, than it was ta start.

When I was just a little lad, we were so very poor.
But we had woofull gallery there upon the kitchen floor.
We didn’t have a penny, we didn’t give a frig.
‘Cos we had lovely music, when me granny start ta jig.

She’d go skiddery-I-skiddery-I-skiddery-idle-do
She’d go skiddery-I-skiddery-I-skiddery-idle-da
She’d go skiddery-I-skiddery-I-skiddery-idle-do
She’d go skiddery-idley-diddly-idley-dory-idle-da

Granny was as old, as old as old could be.
But she could make gallery, out of everything ye see. 
She could jump, she could dance, ye should of seen her run.
A trying ta catch the auld jackass, was so much fun.

(OH) When I was just a little lad, we were so very poor.
But we had woofull gallery there upon the kitchen floor.
We didn’t have a penny, we didn’t give a frig.
‘Cos we had lovely music, when me granny start ta jig.

She’d go skiddery-I-skiddery-I-skiddery-idle-do
She’d go skiddery-I-skiddery-I-skiddery-idle-da
She’d go skiddery-I-skiddery-I-skiddery-idle-do
She’d go skiddery-idlely-diddly-idley-dory-idle-da
“Granny was a great auld gallery Johnny”
‘Ah God, she was a quare fella, was one quare fella”

The Dribblin’ Teapot

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

 Chorus  “Johnny, what’s it like, ta get tae in a hotel?”

There’s a dribble from the taepot, there’s a dribble from the jug.
Everytime I try to pour me tae or milk into me mug,
I hauld the taepot steady but I cannot pour it out. 
‘Cos there’s nothing but a dribble dribblin’ down along the spout.

Who makes the bleedy taepots, ye find in a hotel.
You’ll see them in the restaurants and in the pubs as well.
They’re lovely clean and shiny but when ye pour them out. 
There’s nothing but a dribble dribblin’ down along the spout.

Chorus

There’s a dribble from the taepot, there’s a dribble from the jug.
Everytime I try to pour me tae or milk into me mug,
I hauld the teapot steady but I cannot pour it out. 
‘Cos there’s nothing but a dribble dribblin’ down along the spout.

Is there anyone in Ireland, makes a teapot with a spout.
That doesn’t dribble dribble everytime ye pour it out.
I’ve travelled over Ireland, north, east, south n’ west.
But the taepot that me Grandad has it surely is the best.

Chorus

‘Cos me Grandad has a taepot, he lives up in Drumphea. 
It’s there you’ll alway get a master mug a tae.
He has a black n’ a smokey one but when he pours it out.
Ye’ll never see a dribble dribblin’ down along his spout.

‘Where did your Grandad get the taepot Johnny?”

He bought it on his honeymoon down in Hacketstown.
It was very expensive at the time, it cost a’ half a crown. 
He has it fifty years or more, in use every day. 
Me Grandad was a council man and he surely likes strong tae.

“Them are great auld teapots Johnny” 
“Ah not like the ones today lad”

Chorus

There’s a dribble from the taepot, there’s a dribble from the jug.                                                                                                                                                

Everytime I try to pour me tae or milk into me mug,
I hold the taepot steady but I cannot pour it out. 
Cos there’s nothing but a dribble dribblin’ down along the spout.

Chorus

There’s a dribble from the taepot, there’s a dribble from the jug.
Everytime I try to pour me tae or milk into me mug, 
I hauld the taepot steady but I cannot pour it out. 
‘Cos there’s nothing but a dribble dribblin’ down along the spout.
Ah there’s nothing but a dribble dribblin’ down along the spout. 
“An’ that’s the truth”

Spouts that drip or don’t drip have long been something of a mystery to many potters.

What is the difference and what is going on?

The inside of the spout needs to be at least as large as the diameter of a fountain pen and it can be bigger than that and still pour well.

The Little Honda 50

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

( Richie) “Johnny, do ye remember the little Honda 50?”

( Johnny) “They were a great little yoke lad”

Chorus

Ah the little Honda 50 boys, they were all the craic.
A little Honda 50 with a white box on the back. 
They were called a chicken chaser, they’d drive chickens everywhere. 
And they were only county council men from here ta County Clare.

Ye’d buy them on the h.p, ten bob or a little more. 
Then you could go the places, that ye never went before.
Ye’d sit there on the saddle sure ye wouldn’t have a care.
And the quare one sat behind ye, with the wind blowing through her hair.

Chorus

Ah the little Honda 50 boys, they were all the craic.
A little Honda 50 with a white box on the back.
They were called a chicken chaser, they’d drive chickens everywhere.
And they were only county council men from here ta County Clare.

The ganger man Jack Murphy, he never would be late.                                                                                                                                                                                         He’d park his Honda 50 outside the council gate.                                                                                                                                                                                       At ten a clock the At At ten a’clock the post man up the road he’d sail.
On his little Honda 50 delivering all the mail.

Chorus

Ah the little Honda 50 boys, they were all the craic. 
A little Honda 50 with a white box on the back.
They were called the chicken chasers, they’d drive chickens everywhere.
And they were only county council men from here ta County Clare.

The little Mini Minor and the Morris Minor too.
Just like the Honda 50, meant so much ta me n’ you. 
Ye’d buy them on the h.p, ten bob or a little more. 
And you’d hope now that the boss man, he’d garent tore.

Chorus

Ah the little Honda 50 boys, they were all the craic. 
A little Honda 50 with a white box on the back.
They were called the chicken chasers, they’d drive chickens everywhere.
And they were only county council men from here ta County Clare

“You meet the nicest people on a Honda 50”

Rather than remaining limited to trying to convince traditional bike buyers to switch to a Honda 50                                                                      Honda began a long-running advertising campaign, including the slogan…….

“You meet the nicest people on a Honda 50”

 

If you have no influence 

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

All them days ye went ta school, ye studied all them nights.
Ye proved ta them ye were no foul, ye surely got the points.
The only thing about it that doesn’t make no sense.
You’ll never ever get a job, if you have no influence.

Chorus

Influence, Influence.
Your guaranteed to succeed even if your dense.
Its all about a bitta clout.
Yel get no where today me boys, if ye have no influence.

I went ta university, I worked for five long years.
And at the end I qualified a civil engineer.
I tried the county council for ta get a job ye see.
But the Bosses Brothers, Uncles, Son was better in then me.

Chorus

Influence, Influence.
Your guaranteed to succeed even if your dense.
Its all about a bitta clout.
Ye get no where today me boys, if ye have no influence.

Me sisters she was very bright n’ highly qualified.
She couldn’t get a decent job, no matter how she tried.
Was then she started courting a TD in the Dail.
Now the girl can have her pick of any job a’tall.

Chorus

Influence, Influence.
Your guaranteed to succeed even if your dense.
Its all about a bitta clout.
Ye get no where today me boys, if ye have no influence.

Take a look around ye, you’ll very soon agree.
In any town or village it’s there for all to see.
It doesn’t matter if your bright or just a little dull.
You’ll get no where today me boys, if ye haven’t got the pull.

Chorus

Influence, Influence.
Your guaranteed to succeed even if your dense.
It’s all about a bitta clout.
You’ll get no where today me boys, if ye have no influence.

Influence, Influence.
That’ll make the difference between the punts and pence.
To make the doe its who ye know.
You’ll get no where today me boys if habit influence.

Influence, Influence.
Your guaranteed to succeed even if your dense.
It’s all about a bitta clout.
You’ll get no where today me boys, if ye have no influence.

”And thats the truth”

Tommy Hogans Cinema

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Spoken….”Tommy Hogan had a cinema up in Garryhill,
The pictures in that cinema are in my memory still.
T’was there I seen Roy Rodgers, Kenneth Moore n’ Ben Crosby.
Ye’d pay your little tanner, the whole of Hollywood ta see”

Chorus

Tommy Hogan had a cinema up in Garryhill,
The pictures in that cinema are in my memory still.
T’was there I seen Roy Rodgers, Kenneth Moore n’ Ben Crosby.
Ye’d pay your little tanner, the whole of Hollywood ta see.

Tommy had a cow house in 1954, He said this milking cows I’ll never do no more.
He bought a big projector, hung a sheet upon the wall.
Then he had a cinema the finest of ’em all.

Chorus

Murphy went to the pictures, every Sunday night.
He’d always bring the quar one and he’d hauld and squeeze her tight.
He’d sat down in the back seat, the pictures he’d never see.
He’d be always trying to put his hand upon the quar ones knee.

Chorus

Tommy Hogan had a cinema up in Garryhill,
The pictures in that cinema are in my memory still.
T’was there I seen Roy Rodgers, Kenneth Moore n’ Ben Crosby.
Ye’d pay your little tanner, the whole of Hollywood ta see.

Now we were all just young lads, sittin’ there in the front row.
But we knew what was happenin’ the back seat now ye know.
If someone started courting and if they made a sound.
Tommy’d switch on his big flashlight and he’d shine it all around.

Chorus

Tommy Hogan had a cinema up in Garryhill,
The pictures in that cinema are in memory still.
T’was there I seen Roy Rodgers, Kenneth Moore n’ Ben Crosby.
Ye’d pay your little tanner, the whole of Hollywood ta see.

Now every little cinema, in every little town.
Lost out to television an’ long ago closed down.
But I can still remember, every actor, every seen.
In Tommy Hogans cinema, our local silver screen.

Tommy Hogan who lived in Garyhill Co. Carlow had a cowhouse at the back of his place and he converted it in to a cinema. It was there, at eight years of age, that I would go every Sunday with a tanner in me hand. That was a sixpence, by the way!

The films that I loved to see featured Laurel and Hardy, Mother Reilly and Norman Wisdom.

 

Me Hearty Irish Breakfast

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

(OH) I love me Irish breakfast, me hearty Irish breakfast.
Bacon, eggs n’ sausages all dancing on the plate.
With a lump of jet black pudding and mushrooms by the dozen.
A hearty Irish breakfast is the only thing ta ate.

Ah I am a long hawl trucker and I often go ta France.
A country known for food n’ wine n’ a little aul romance.
But when it comes to breakfast in the continental style.
A lump of dried bread on your plate would wipe away your smile.

Chorus

(OH) I love my Irish breakfast, me hearty Irish breakfast                                                                                                                                                                   Bacon, eggs n’ sausages all dancing on the plate.
With a lump of jet black pudding and mushrooms by the dozen.
A hearty Irish breakfast is the only thing ta ate.

I often have ta take the truck and head for Italy.
A country full of passion, where they love their spaghetti.
But even in the morning, in Venice or in Rome.
Its pasta, bleedy pasta, sure its then I think of home.

Chorus

(OH) I love me Irish breakfast, me hearty Irish breakfast.
Bacon, eggs n’ sausages all dancing on the plate.
With a lump of jet black pudding and mushrooms by the dozen.
A hearty Irish breakfast is the only thing ta ate.

I remember when I had ta go down ta sunny Spain.
Ye know that place were the bitta rain falls mainly on the plain.
But every single morning, before you’d say.. Olé.
They’d give you more paella, its then you’d here me say….

Chorus

(OH) I love me Irish breakfast, me hearty Irish breakfast.
Bacon, eggs n’ sausages all dancing on the plate.
With a lump of jet black pudding and mushrooms by the dozen.
A hearty Irish breakfast is the only thing ta ate.
A great big lump of fried bread boys, is surely hard ta bate.

“Get the aul pan Johnny”

 

How To Do 1,2,3.

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

(Johnny) “Around my part of the country, you’d never ask a woman out ta dance.
You’d always say to her, Can I face ye for Mt.Leinster?”

(Richie) “Who learnt you ta dance, Johnny?”

Ah me sister was aulder than me ye see,
And she showed me how to do 1,2,3.
Ah me sister was aulder than me ye see,
And see showed me how to do 1,2,3.

Chorus

She’d go 1,2,3,1,2,3 ’round the floor,
1,2,3 1,2,3 and miss the door.
She’d go 1,2,3,1,2,3 just like before,
1,2,3,1,2,3 more and more.

Ah this 1,2,3,1,2,3 rang in me head,
I even could hear it when I was in the bed.
She’d go 1,2,3,1,2,3 just like before,
Ah 1,2,3,1,2,3 more and more.

Me father wouldn’t let me go to the dance hall.
He said your not going there, ta hauld up the wall.
He says you have no steps in your feet now a’tall.
But your sister will show ye, cos she knows them all.

“And then she’d start again lad”

Chorus

She’d go 1,2,3,1,2,3 ’round the floor,
1,2,3,1,2,3 and miss the door.
She’d go 1,2,3,1,2,3 just like before,
Ah 1,2,3,1,2,3 more and more.

Ah this 1,2,3,1,2,3 rang in me head,
I even could hear it when I was in the bed.
She’d go 1,2,3,1,2,3 just like before,
Ah 1,2,3,1,2,3 more and more.

I went to me first dance on a Sunday night.
I danced with this young one and see held me tight.
Says she your a great aul dancers to me.
Says I sure me sister showed me now ye see.

Cos me sister was aulder than me ye see.
And she showed me how to do 1,2,3.
Ah me sister was aulder than me ye see.
And she showed me how to do 1,2,3.

Chorus

She’d go 1,2,3,1,2,3 ‘round the floor,
1,2,3,1,2,3 and miss the door.
She’d go 1,2,3,1,2,3 just like before,
Ah 1,2,3,1,2,3 more and more.

1,2,3,1,2,3 more and more.
And now I can really dance ‘round the floor.
1,2,3,1,2,3 ‘round the floor.
1,2,3,1,2,3 and miss the door.

(Johnny) “Ah I’m not able for any more of it lad I’m not!”
(Richie) “Ah ye may leave it so Johnny”
(Richie) “But your able ta dance now?”
(Johnny) “I’m able ta dance very well now”

The Waltz is a simple, yet elegant ballroom dance,  known for its three beat count.

A traditional Irish waltz tempo: 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3
As you step, you should count 1-2-3, 1-2-3, ‘round the floor

Courtin’ In a Mini Car

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

I had a Mini Minor in 1969,
A little Mini Minor I was so glad that she was mine.
I had a little girlfriend with the skirt above her knee,
I loved me Mini Minor and me girlfriend she loved me.

Chorus

Did ye ever try ta court a woman in a little mini car.
I tried ta court me girlfriend but I didn’t get to far.
Sure I tried ta do, what I shouldn’t do and I couldn’t do a’tall.
‘Cos the inside of me mini car, was far to bleady small.

We went to all the marquees, the ballrooms and the pubs.
We went to all the field days, in all the football clubs.
We went up and down the mountain, sure we travelled near and far.
And we done it all together, in me little mini car.

Chorus

Did ye ever try ta court a woman in a little mini car.                                                                                                                                                                                   I tried ta court me girlfriend but I didn’t get to far.                                                                                                                                                                          Sure I tried ta do what I shouldn’t do and I couldn’t do a’tall.
‘Cos the inside of me mini car was far to bleady small.

On our way home from the marquees, we parked beside a gate.
Then I tried ta coux me girlfriend into the auld back seat.
Then we tried to do what we shouldn’t do and we couldn’t do a’tall.
‘Cos the inside of me mini car was far to bleedy small.

Chorus

Did ye ever try ta court a woman in a little mini car.
I tried ta court me girlfriend but I didn’t get to far.
Sure I tried ta do what I shouldn’t do and I couldn’t do a’tall.
‘Cos the inside of me mini car was far to bleady small.
And we couldn’t do what we shouldn’t do in the mini car a’tall.

A Real Humdinger

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie) “Johnny, what was the wife like before ye married her?”

Chorus

She was a real humdinger, she was a country an western singer.
I’d see her on the band stand every night.
She was a real humdinger, she was a country an western singer.
She surely was my little hearts delight.

Well the first time that I saw her, was in Joe Murphy’s bar.
She was standing there upon the stage, she was playin’ her guitar.
Oh she had a lovely fender, it was colours white an’ blue.
And when she put her hand on it, you’d wish that it was you.

Chorus

She was a real humdinger, she was a country an western singer.
I’d see her on the band stand every night.
She was a real humdinger, she was a country an western singer.
She surely was my little hearts delight.

Well she played in all the ballrooms, the marquees an’ the pubs.
She got the boat to England and she played in all the clubs.
Sure I became her roadie and I drove her everywhere.
I even drove her across the ditch one night down in Kenmare.

Chorus

She was a real humdinger, she was a country an western singer.
I’d see her on the band stand every night.
She was a real humdinger, she was a country an western singer.
She surely was my hearts delight.

“She was a real humdinger,
Stay wut her Johnny, stay wut her”

Well the tax man came a knockin’ he knocked upon her door.
She said this income tax, I’ll never pay no more.
She hung up her lovely fender, it was coloured white an blue.
She says ye know now Johnny, I think I’ll marry you.

Chorus

She was a real humdinger, she was a country an western singer.
I’d see her on the band stand every night.
She was a real humdinger, she was a country an western singer.
She surely was my little hearts delight.

And I loves her, loves her dearly every night.

Maggie Murphy’s Melodion

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

“Johnny, will we sing this little song”
“Aye, sure its only a bit of gallery lad”

Chorus

Maggie Murphy had a melodion that she bought in Bagenalstown.
A lovely little melodion that she got for a half a crown. 
It was an international, it had a lovely sound.
And every time she’d squeeze it, the boys would gather ‘round.

When maggie went a courtin’ she brought the melodion too.
She never had just one boy, she always had a few.
One night she started courtin’ she didn’t do no wrong.
But when she finished courtin’ her melodion it was gone.

Chorus

Maggie Murphy had a melodion that she bought in Bagenalstown.
A lovely little melodion, that she got for a half a crown.
It was an international, it had a lovely sound.
And every time she’d squeeze it, the boys would gather ‘round.

Well she went ta Father Murphy, he said Maggie what is wrong?
Oh father I’ve been courtin’ this fella for so long.
He said I was so beautiful, he loved no one but me.
But he was only after me melodion now ye see.

Chorus

Maggie Murphy had a melodion, that she bought in Bagenalstown.
A lovely little melodion, that she got for a half a crown.
It was a international, it had a lovely sound.
And every time she’d squeeze it, the boys would gather ‘round.

She went ta the Garda station, for ta report a crime. 
The Sergeant said, Maggie your surely just in time.
We’ve apprehended your aul boyfriend n’ your aul melodion too.
So give us a squeeze if ye please, give us a bitta of your…..

Diddely-idle-diddly-idle-diddley-idle-doe
A roddle-doddle-diddly-idle-dory-idle-da
A roddley-doddley-diddley-idley-dory-idle-day
A roddle-doddle-diddley-idley-dory-idle-da

(OH) diddley-idle-diddley-idle-diddley-idle-doe
A roddle-doddle-diddley-idle-dory-idle-da
A roddely-doddley-didely-idley-dory-idle-day
A roddle-doddle-diddely-idely-dory-idle-da

(OH) diddley-idle-diddley-idle-diddley-idle-doe
A roddle-doddle-diddley-idle-dory-idle-da
A roddely-doddley-didley-idley-dory-idle-day
A roddle-doddle-diddley-idle-dory-idle-da

Me Granny Was A Plucker

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

I never knew me granny, but they said she was a plucker.
Me granny taught me daddy how to be a plucker too.
Now I am a plucker an’ me brother is a another. 
We’re the greatest crowd of pluckers anybody ever knew.

The nineteenth of December was a turkey pluckin’ day.
She never stopped pluckin’ only for a mug of tae.
When granny started pluckin’ there’d be feathers everywhere.
Feathers in her pedi coat n’ feathers in her hair.

Chorus

I never knew me granny but they said she was a plucker.
Me granny taught daddy how to be a plucker too.
Now I am a plucker an’ me brother is another.
We’re the greatest crowd of pluckers anybody ever knew.

There’s a plucker here in Ireland, he’s a plucker from Coothill.
In the Guinness book of records, he is unbeaten still.
I only wish me granny could have put him to the test.
‘Cos me daddy said me granny as a plucker was the best.

There was one little plucking job that granny couldn’t do.
No matter how she tried sure she didn’t have a clue.
She says she’d get the hang of it but she was outta luck.
Until the day she died me granny couldn’t pluck a duck.

Chorus

I never knew me granny but they said she was a plucker.
Me granny taught daddy how to be a plucker too.
Now I am a plucker an’ me brother is another.
We’re the greatest crowd of pluckers anybody ever knew.

She could pluck turkey cock, she could pluck a turkey hen.
I bet she could’ve even plucked the turkey on the Den.
Dustin is a divil sure he has an awful mouth.
“Go’wan now ye good thing”. ye’d often hear him shout.

Chorus

I never knew me granny but they said she was a plucker.
Me granny taught me daddy how to be a plucker too.
Now I am a plucker an’ me brother is another.
We’re the greatest crowd of pluckers anybody ever knew.

(OH) I never knew me granny but they said she was a plucker.
Me granny taught daddy how to be a plucker too.
Now I am a plucker an’ me brother is another.
We’re the greatest crowd of pluckers anybody ever knew.

“Stay wut her Johnny, Stay wut her”

Vincent Pilkington plucked a turkey in one minute and 30 seconds on RTE television on November 17, 1980.

Despite several attempts by others, no one has improved the Cavan man’s time in the last three decades.

The 60-year-old’s record is still detailed in the ‘Guinness World Records 2011’.

 

The Anglia Deluxe

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

“Tell him a‘bout Daddy’s Anglia Deluxe lad, Tell ’em”

Chorus

Was there anythin’ nicer than a Anglia Deluxe.
Stylish design an’ such lovely good looks.
A grand cromey strip from the front ta the back.
An up on the top was a sturdy roof rack.

Me father he had one for near thirty year.
For ten of them years, he had no second gear.
Speedometer hand never passed forty-five. 
That’s how the aul engine survived.

Chorus

Was there anythin’ nicer than a Anglia Deluxe.
Stylish design an’ such lovely good looks.
A grand cromey  strip from the front ta the back.
An up on the top was a sturdy roof rack.

Me father he bought her when I was thirteen. 
Since then through the windscreen a lot I have seen. 
The see-side at Tramore n’ aul Glendalough.
On the fifteenth of August, he’d face her for Knock.

One day he let me drive the Anglia Deluxe. 
When I hit a gate post he let out some f***.
Are ye cock eye, ye blind or can you see a’tall.
Ye eegit will ye mind the stone wall.

Chorus

Was there anythin’ nicer than a Anglia Deluxe.
Stylish design n’ such lovely good looks.
A grand cromy strip from the front ta the back.
An up on the top was a sturdy roof rack.

Me father he died, when he was eighty-two.
He said me son Johnny I’m real fond of you. 
I’ve just made me will, here’s the keys n’ handbooks.
Always look after the aul Anglia Deluxe.

Now I have a son n’ he’s just thirteen. 
An he’s looking out through the same auld windscreen.
We’ve just changed the oil n’ she’s going like a clock.
Next fifteenth of August, we’ll face her for Knock.

Chorus

Was there anythin’ nicer than a Anglia Deluxe.
Stylish design an’ such lovely good looks.
A grand cromey strip from the front ta the back.
An up on the top was a sturdy roof rack.

A car of her age should be home for the ducks. 
But there’s plenty of life in our Anglia Deluxe.

“She’s a great aul jalopy Johnny” 
“That’s right, that’s the truth a great little yoke”

Me Little Zuki Jeep

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

I am a happy farmer in me little Zuki jeep.
I drives it up the mountain, for to count me sheep.
I drives it over rocky ground, I drives it through the bog.                                                                                                                                                                     An sittin’ there beside me, is me faithful auld sheepdog.

Beep Beep Beep Beep

Here comes Richie an his sheepdog in his little Zuki jeep.

I used ta have a tractor but the tractor now I sold.
‘Cos driving up the mountain was so awful cold. 
Miley said to me one day get rid of that aul heap.
He says what you want now me boy, is a lovely Zuki jeep.

The Zuki runs on diesel, I have it in the shed. 
They tell me that it should be white but I only have the red. 
The sergeant never dips me tank, the red he’s never seen. 
Because I’m always slippin’ him a bottle of pauchín.

I am a happy farmer in me little Zuki jeep.
I drives it up the mountain for to count me sheep.
I drives it over rocky ground, I drives it through the bog.
An sittin’ there beside me, is me faithful aul sheepdog.

Beep Beep Beep Beep
Here comes Richie n’ his sheepdog in his little Zuki jeep.

The wife she loves the Zuki, be the holy man alive.
A’ dangerous ta be with in a four wheel drive.
She rev’s her on the corner an’ she slaps her into gear.
When she gets behind the wheel, the woman has no fear.

Me sister likes the bit a style, she lives in Dublin four.
She loves ta have the Zuki parked outside her door.
She has a lovely Zuki with a bull bar on the front.
A horse box now behind it, sure she’s off ta join the hunt.

(OH) I am a happy farmer in me little Zuki jeep.
I drives it up the mountain for to count me sheep.
I drives it over rocky ground, I drives it through the bog.
An sittin’ there beside me, is me faithful auld sheepdog.

Beep Beep Beep Beep
Here comes Richie n’ his sheepdog in his little Zuki jeep.
Beep, Beep, how his children? Beep, Beep how was school?
Here comes Richie n’ his sheepdog in his little Zuki jeep.

Hay Rover, hay get back in….  Hay Rover, hay get back in…. 

 

Her Name Was Nellie

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

‘These are little rhymes that I learnt as a chap,
On me way home from school”

Chorus

There was a little girl an’ her name was Nellie, 
Stud in water up to her knees…. 
Doesn’t rhyme very well, doesn’t rhyme very well.
‘Cos the water wasn’t deep enough.

High diddle diddle, the cat done a piddle. 
All over the kitchen floor.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
So the cat done a little bit more.

Jack n’ Jill went up the hill. 
That was where he brought her.
Jill came down with a half a crown. 
An it wasn’t for a carrying water.

Chorus

There was little girl an’ her name was Nellie.
Stud in water up to her knees.
That doesn’t rhyme very well, doesn’t rhyme very well. 
‘Cos the water wasn’t deep enough.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick. 
Jack jumped over the candle stick.
Silly boy he should have jumped higher.
Goodness, gracious great balls of fire!!

Adam an’ Eve in the garden dwelt.
They were oh so jolly.
I wonder would they be so jolly. 
If the leaves they wore were holly.

Chorus

There was a little girl an’ her name was Nellie.
Stud in water up to her knees.
Doesn’t rhyme very well, doesn’t rhyme very well.
‘Cos the water wasn’t deep enough.

There was a young nun called Vera.
Who wouldn’t let anyone near her. 
When a crafty auld monk, got into her bunk.
An’ now she’s a Mother Superior.

Chorus

There was a little girl an’ her name was Nellie.
Stud in water up to her knees.
That doesn’t rhyme very well, doesn’t rhyme very well.
‘Cos the water wasn’t deep enough.

There was a little girl an’ her name was Nellie.
Stud in water up to her knees. 
That doesn’t rhyme very well, doesn’t rhyme very well.
‘Cos the water wasn’t deep enough. 
The water wasn’t deep enough….

Why Did They Call Me E.S.B.

”This is a song dedicated to the ESB men of 1955”

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

“Johnny, will ye tell us how ye got your nickname?”

Chorus

When I was a young lad, I had a nickname ye see.
They used ta call me E.S.B.
What was me link with the electricity.
Why did they call me E.S.B.

I went ta me mammy, ta try an’ find out.
She said run off or I’ll give ye a clout.
Determined I set about lookin’ for clues.
I had ta find out or I’ed blow a fuse.

No matter what I found out, I couldn’t see.
Why they would call me E.S.B.
To discovered the reason was my hearts desire.
Why I was named after a high tension wire.

Chorus

When I was a young lad, I had a nickname ye see.
They used ta call me E.S.B.
Whats me link with the electricity. 
Why did they call me E.S.B.

This searchin’ was gettin’ me no where a’tall.
So I took the night off at our local dance hall.
I winked at this young girl, her eyes were so bright.
When she smiled at me, I lit up like a light.

Says I whats your name, says she Bridie McNee.
But most of the people call me E.S.B.
Says I my names Johnny, but I’m just like you. 
‘Cos every one calls me E.S.B too.

Says I dear Bridie, now how could this be.
Sit down here beside me, I’ll explain it says she.
Listen now Johnny, til I turn back the clock.
Then what she told me, gave me such a shock.

Digging’ holes for poles on the E.S.B.
Thats how your daddy was around here ye see.

At long last the reason was plain ta me. 
Why they had nicknamed me E.S.B.                                                                                                                                 Now there’s an auld spark between Bridie an’ me.                                                                                                                Who knows there’ll soon be an E.S.B three.

Now there’s an auld spark between Bridie an’ me. 
Who knows there’ll be soon an E.S.B three.

The Rural Electrification Scheme began across the country 70 years ago.

Gangs of men would stay in one area for weeks and months at a time.

It led to new relationships and even marriages taking place.

The local clergy who acted with haste to stamp out temptation of the flesh,

ordered an ESB boss to take a dark handsome young worker out of the parish,

as he had become a danger to the ladies both married and single!!!!.

 Me Lovely Yellow Scooter

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

I was saving up me money for to buy a motorbike,
But I could never see one that I did really like.
Then I seen this yellow scooter, this lovely yellow scooter.
An’ I knew that great big scooter was for me.

Well I went into the showroom an’ I had a look around.
The salesman name was Miley, he was down from Aughrim town.
He says that’s a quare good scooter, there’s not a better scooter.
An’ I’ve been selling scooters now for years.

Well the girl that owned that scooter, she came from Mullingar.
She’d never sell the scooter, only her mother won a car.
He says there’s not a better scooter, a handy wee commuter.
An’ I’ve been sellin’ scooters now for years.

Chorus

I was saving up me money for to buy a motorbike,
But I could never see one that I did really like.
Then I seen this yellow scooter, this lovely yellow scooter.
An’ I knew that great big scooter was for me.

There’s no where in the land, a scooter like it can be found. 
If ye want ta buy that scooter, it will cost ye ninety pound.
He says that’s a quare good scooter, a very low polluter.
An’ I’ve been sellin’ scooters now for years.

Well I bought that yellow scooter an’ I scootered out the gate. 
I scootered down the street an’ the feeling it was great. 
Sure I never had a scooter like that great big yellow scooter.
An’ I’ve had that yellow scooter now for years.

Chorus

I was saving up me money for to buy a motor bike,
But I could never see one that I did really like.
Then I saw this yellow scooter, this lovely yellow scooter.
An’ I knew that great big scooter was for me.

Me lovely yellow scooter, there is no scooter
Pooter tooter hooter on the scooter I’m away.

 

Danoli

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh and Dermot O’Shaughnessy

It all started in Kildare, in a place thats known as Goffs.
A place not for the culchie’s, more frequented by the toffs.
When two lads from County Carlow, Dan O Neill an trainer Foley.                                                                                Knew a winner when they saw one an now, we have Danoli.

Chorus

Danoli, Danoli. 
Your the pride of Neil an’ Foley.
Your the favourite on the race course. 
All the punters love Danoli.

Olivia Dans daughter decided upon his name. 
She little realised that the horse would reach such fame. 
Then Foley, Danoli, O’Neill an’ Charlie Swan. 
Went to Cheltenham, where Danoli proved he was number one.

Chorus

Danoli, Danoli. 
Your the pride of Neill an’ Foley.
Your the favourite of the race course. 
All the punters love Danoli.

The great big crowd in Leopardstown, they cheered an’ shouted loud. 
When Danoli won the gold cup, sure they were so very proud. 
Tommy Tracey in the saddle, sure the horse was bound ta win.
With a Trainer like Tom Foley, he’ll surely win again.

Chorus

Danoli, Danoli. 
Your the pride of Neill an’ Foley.
Your the favourite on the race course.
All the punters love Danoli.

Danoli, Danoli.
Your the pride of Neill an’ Foley.
Your style an’ speed unequal. 
Your our hero sweet Danoli.

Our hero sweet Danoli.

 As a three-year-old gelding, he was sent to the Goffs sales in June 1991 but failed to attract a buyer.  He was subsequently acquired by Dan O’Neill and sent into training with Tom Foley at his stables near Bagenalstown in County Carlow.

He was described as the most popular racehorse in Ireland during the 1990s.

Regarded as “the People’s Champion”.

Among the jockeys to ride Danoli were Charlie Swan and Tommy Treacey.

A Long Lank Of A Loody

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie) …”Johnny!”

(Johnny) …”Ya”

( Richie)…”Did ya like going to school Johnny?”

( Johnny)… “No”

( Richie)…”What was your teacher like?”

Chorus

He was a great big long lank of a loody of a man.
He had an auld Austin, it was like a battered can.
He was my primary teacher, he came from Donegal.
He was awful contrary an’ from him we learnt dam all.

O’ every single morning, we’d line up again the wall.
Then we’d march in a long an’ up along the hall.
The teacher he would strike a match, the fire he’d set a light.
Then the whole lot of us, our prays we would recite.

Chorus

He was a great big long lank of a loody of a man.
He had an auld Austin, it was like a battered can.
He was my primary teacher, he came from Donegal.
He was awful contrary an’ from him we learnt dam all.

The teacher had a great big fire, beside him in the grate.
Not a lot a good to us in the back row off the seat.
You’d be sitting up the front, if you were the teachers pet.
If ye didn’t do your lesson, wut a stick you would be bet.

Chorus

He was a great big long lank of a loody of a man.
He had an auld Austin, it was like a battered can.
He was my primary teacher, he came from Donegal.
He was awful contrary an’ from him we learnt dam all.

He’d be shoutin’ he’d be roarin’ at us all the whole day long.
He’d even start shoutin’ when nothing would be wrong.
If you were good at Irish, he’d be very fond of you.
And if ye didn’t understand it, try an’ bate it into you.

Chorus

He was a great big long lank of a loody of a man.
He had an auld Austin, it was like a battered can.
He was my primary teacher, he came from Donegal.
He was awful contrary an’ from him we learnt dam all.                                                                                                    He was awful contrary an’ from him we learnt dam all.

The Old Dance Hall

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

The old dance hall is standing still its on the road near Garryhill.
The doors are open night an’ day its falling into a sad decay.
I walk along its empty floor an’ I think of all the nights before.
Eight lads playing there on the stage, the showbands then they were all the rage.

The old dance hall is standing still, it’s on the road near Garryhill.
Sure I can remember like yesterday, them showband lads could really play.
The sound of the trumpet an’ the saxophone, the lead, the rhythm an’ the slide trombone.
The drummer, the singer an’ a walking bass with the hundred watt amp sure they’d fill the place.

The band would call out, “next dance, please”
A fox trot you’d be guaranteed a squeeze.
You’d offer her a snack an’ a lemonade.
If she said yes you’d have it made.

Chorus

The old dance hall is standing, still its on the road near Garryhill.
The doors are open night an’ day its falling into a sad decay.

But I remember way back then,                                                                                                                                          Oh yes I remember way back when.                                                                                                                                                  All its lights were shining bright,                                                                                                                                            An’ we would dance there through the night.

(Johnny )….”Them were quar good auld times, lad”

( Richie)…”Did you meet the wife there Johnny?”

( Johnny )…”I did, ye”

( Richie))…”How long ago was that?”
(Johnny) …”I don’t know lad an’ she’d be raging if I tauld ye”

Sally Doran’s Nellie Bike

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie)…”Johnny, do ye remember Sally Doran?”
(Johnny)…”I do well an’ her great big nellie bike”

Chorus

Be the holy man above tonight, did ye ever see the likes.
Sally Doran sittin’ there upon her great big nellie bike.
It was at twelve a clock at night, I got an awful fright.
But it was only Sally Doran on her great big nellie bike.

At twelve a clock each day, you’d see her headin’ for the town.
With rabbits on the handle bars, hangin’ upside down.
Her husband used the snare ’em, up in Knockendrane.
He had ta try an make a bob, the hens they weren’t layin’.

Chorus

Be the holy man above tonight, did ye ever see the like.
Sally Doran sittin’ there upon her great big nellie bike.
It was at twelve a clock at night, I got an awful fright.
But it was only Sally Doran on her great big nellie bike.

On her way home from the town, in her mouth she’d have a fag.
An’ there upon the handle bars, a great big shoppin’ bag.
She’d with me mammy an’ she’d come an have tae.
She’d say, “I’m in awful hurry, now I better not delay”.

Chorus

Be the holy man above tonight, did ye ever see the like.
Sally Doran sittin’ there upon her great big nellie bike.
It was at twelve a clock at night, I got an awful fright.
But it was only Sally Doran on her great big nellie bike.

She used ta have all the news, from here an’ there about.
Me mammy used ta always say, “she had an awful mouth”.
She’d always try ta stuff ye, with lies of every kind.
She’d never would stop talking, sure you’d nearly lose your mind.

Chorus

Be the holy man above tonight, did ye ever see the like.
Sally Doran sittin’ there upon her great big nellie bike.
Was at twelve a clock at night, I got an awful fright.
But it was only Sally Doran on her great big nellie bike.

Sure I remember Sally on the road day an’ night.

Me Father Was A Fairy

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

Ah Me father was a fairy, me mother a banshee.
Thats why when I was born, I was a leprechaun ye see.
Me father had a fairy bush an’ a great big fairy ring.
Me mother being a banshee, would always wail an’ sing.

We lived in the Knock in Carrigbeg not far from Ballinakill.
An’ the gallery that we had, there is in me memory still.
We did no harm ta no one, no were no times in our lives.
Being leprechauns an’ fairy’s sure we had so many lives.

Chorus

Ah Me father was a fairy, me mother a banshee.
That’s why when I was born, I was a leprechaun ye see.
Me father had a fairy bush an’ a great big fairy ring.
Me mother being a banshee, would always wail an sing.

I remember now the sad night, when me mother would start ta wail.
Was then we’d knew some crater there health was going to fail.
Ah the night that they would die, oh me mammy start ta cry.
You’d hear that awful wailing, all across the moonlit sky.

Me father had a happy life spelling everyone.
He done it for the gallery, sure he never done no wrong.
He showed me how to mend me shoes with a hammer an’ a last.
He showed me how to fiddle-di-di an’ how a spell was cast.

Chorus

Ah Me father was a fairy, me mother a banshee.
That’s why when I was born, I was a leprechaun ye see.
Me father had a fairy bush an’ a great big fairy ring.
Me mother being a banshee would always wail an sing.

Now I have a place of me own, here in the rocks an’ stones.
An’ every night I sit down an’ I rest me weary bones.
All around me there’s loads of gold in jars an’ skillet pots.
But you will never find it ‘cos I’ll tie ye up in knots.

Chorus

Ah Me father was a fairy, me mother a banshee.
Thats why when I was born, I was a leprechaun ye see.
Me father had a fairy bush an’ a great big fairy ring.
Me mother being a banshee would always wail an sing.

A little fairy family inside a fairy ring.
‘Ye have ta believe in somethin’ lad”

No Drink No More

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

I’ll never drink, like I drank before.
No I won’t drink, no drink no more.
Ya ruled me life, now I have feck all.
‘Cos I pissed it all, up against the wall.

I bruised me face an’ I broke me nose.
Oh what I did, God only knows.
I had good jobs, but I lost ’em all.
‘Cos ye’d rise me up, just ta let me fall.

Well I feel so bad an’ I am so sad.
All the things I missed, ‘cos I was pissed.
All the girls I lost, they all went away.
I even got locked, on me wedding day.

Well feck the beer an’ the whiskey too.
May the curse of all, fall down on you.
Ye ruined me life an’ I lost me wife.
That bleady drink, caused so much strife.

Chorus

I’ll never drink, like I drank before.
No I won’t drink, no drink no more.
Ya ruled me life, no I have feck all.
‘Cos I pissed it all, up against the wall.

Now the bleady wall, is about ta fall.
“Oh mind your head Johnny, mind mind mind”

Concrete Paddy

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

Concrete Paddy, who works in London town.
Concrete Paddy, who lays the concrete down.
He works with all the Subies, part now of the crew.
An’ every night in the pub, he’ll always have a few.

He left his home in Mayo in 1962.
To take the boat ta England, seemed the right thing for ta do.
He met his friends in Kilburn, down in Camden town.
An’ very soon they had a place for him ta dass down.

Chorus

Concrete Paddy, who works in London town.
Concrete Paddy, who lays the concrete down.
He works with all the Subies, part now of the crew.
An’ every night in the pub, he’ll always have a few.

He’s a great man with a shovel, spreads concrete nice an’ neat.
His hands as tough as leather, like the boots upon his feet.
The sweat runs down his face, his belly an’ his back.
A great man with a pick an’ powerful with a fac.

Chorus

Concrete Paddy, who works in London town.
Concrete Paddy, who lays the concrete down.
He works with all the Subies, part now of the crew.
An’ every night in the pub, he’ll always have a few.

“Isn’t that right Johnny?”…”Thats right, thats the truth”
“A one R B man, a one R B man”.

Chorus

Concrete Paddy, who works in London town.
Concrete Paddy, who lays the concrete down.
He works with all the Subies, part now of the crew.
An’ every night in the pub, he’ll always have a few.

The Farmers Ball 

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Oh Maggie went a dancing’ a ta the local hall.
She not a realising that it was the farmers ball.
Very soon Maggies little feet they were all bruised.
As farmers in there great big boots around the floor they cruised.

Chorus

Oh Maggie left the farmers ball, she went home in a huff.
Oh mammy, tell me mammy, why are farmers balls so rough?
Her mammy says, now farmers at dancing they were losers.
But the reason why there balls are rough, there’s clay inside their trousers.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                     They started leppin’ round the floor an’ jumpin’ up an’ down.
This was the farmers ball an’ they were really going ta town.
There was all kinds of farmers there with great big hobnail boots.
An’ some of them in waistcoats an’ a few of them had suits.

Chorus

Oh Maggie left the farmers ball, she went home in a huff.
Oh mammy, tell me mammy, why are farmers balls so rough?
Her mammy says, now farmers at dancing they were losers.
But the reason why there balls are rough, there’s clay inside their trousers.

Well she went back the next year, it was the same again.
They were jumpin’ round like asses, great big grown men.
There were porter, fags an’ sandwiches scattered round the floor.
An’ every time the band would stop, the farmers shouted…
More, more, more, more, more, more…..

Chorus

Oh Maggie left the farmers ball, she went home in a huff.
Oh mammy, tell me mammy, why are farmers balls so rough?
Her mammy says, now farmers at dancing they were losers.
But the reason why there balls are rough, there’s clay inside their trousers.

Chorus

Oh Maggie left the farmers ball, she went home in a huff.
Oh mammy, tell me mammy, why are farmers balls so rough?
Her mammy says, now farmers at dancing they were losers.
But the reason why there balls are rough, there’s clay inside their trousers.

Family Farm Survival

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

Us poor auld  Irish farmers, our future now in doubt.
That’s why we drive our tractors, through the street an’ all about.
Farmers here in Ireland, are so very poor.
To survive upon a farm ye’d want ta be a cute hur.

The greatest hur’s in Ireland, the TDs in the Dail.
They really have the farmers backs up against the wall.
Joe Walsh he does be talking, late into the night.
While the poor aul farmers sinkin’ deeper in the shite.

Chorus

Us poor auld Irish farmers, our future now in doubt.
That’s why we drive our tractors, through the street an all about.
Farmers here in Ireland, are so very poor.
To survive upon a farm ye’d want ta be a cute hur.

Oh Family farm survival, that’s why were here today.
An’ ta support a farmer, ta get a better pay.
The poor auld farmer his income is so small.
Its hardly worth his while getting out of bed a all.

Chorus

Us poor auld  Irish farmers, our future now in doubt.
That’s why we drive our tractors, through the street an all about.
Farmers here in Ireland are so very poor.
To survive upon a farm ye’d want ta be a cute hur.

‘We’re in O’Connell street now lad”
“Aye did ye bring the dung spreader?”
“I did an’ its full a shit”

The quare ones up in Dublin, they really think their great.
Only for the farmers, they’d have nare an egg ta ate.
John Dylan now the president I’d like ta wish ye luck.
Though the quare ones up in Dublin, really don’t give a…

“Don’t Johnny, don’t, don’t say it”

Chorus

Us poor auld Irish farmers, our future now in doubt.
Thats why we drive our tractors, through the street an all about.
Farmers here in Ireland are so very poor
To survive upon a farm ye’d want ta be a cute hur.

Mind the spire Johnny, mind, mind the spire.
That’s not a spike, that’s a tooth for a book rake.
You’d want a quar big bale a hay for that lad.
Thats right, thats the truth.

A roddely-doddely-dah.
A roddey-doddely-dory-idle-dah.
“Stay wut you’re a good one lad, your a good one”.

Drumphea On A Hill

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

Drumphea, Drumphea I remember ye still.
A beautiful chapel way up on a hill.
On Sunday we’d all go there ta pray.
We never did miss mass upon a Sunday.

As a chap I would walk there, it was almost two mile.
I remember the people, they all wore a smile.
There were bicycles, motors an’ the odd asses cart.
A half hour to walk there, from finish to start.

Chorus

Drumphea, Drumphea I remember ye still.
A beautiful chapel way up on a hill,
On Sunday we’d all go there ta pray.
We never did miss mass upon a Sunday.

The priest bought some speakers an’ a microphone.
It didn’t take long now for them ta get going.
Sonny Moore he’d be testing one, two, three, four.
Then we’d all hear the priest like never before.

Chorus

Drumphea, Drumphea I remember ye still.
A beautiful chapel way up on a  hill.
On Sunday we’d all go there ta pray.
We never did miss mass upon a Sunday.

At a quarter past nine, the bell it did ring.
Then up on the gallery, me hymn book I’d bring.
Mrs Ryan played the organ, while we all sang along.
Great memories of childhood, that now are long gone.

Chorus

Drumphea, Drumphea I remember ye still.
A beautiful chapel way up on the hill.
On Sunday we’d all go there ta pray.
We never did miss mass upon a Sunday.

No we never did miss mass upon a Sunday.

“An’ we’d get the Sunday paper off of Stephen in the van”

“Do ye remember, it was great”

Me Girlfriends Pussy Cat

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

Oh Me girlfriend has a pussy, a lovely pussy now.
An every time I rubs it, a she goes meow.
She has a lovely pussy, I seen it in her house.
I did I seen her pussy cat, a gobble up a mouse.

Oh you thought it was so naughty, but it’s not a naughty song.
Ye thought it was so naughty, I was codding all along.
Pussy, pussy, pussy, a pussy, pussy cat.
Pussy, pussy. pussy, so fluffy an’ so fat.

First time I saw her pussy, was on a summers day.
Her lovely fluffy pussy, a lying in the hay.,
Ah de ye like me pussy, it’s the only one I’ve got.
Be gore I do, I surely do, I like it quite a lot.

Chorus

Oh Me girlfriend has a pussy, a lovely pussy now.
An every time I rubs it, a she goes meow.
She has a lovely pussy, I seen it in her house.,
I did I seen her pussy cat, a gobble up a mouse.

Oh you thought it was so naughty, but it’s not a naughty song.
Ye thought it was so naughty, I was codding all along.
Pussy, pussy, pussy, a pussy, pussy cat.
Pussy, pussy, pussy, so fluffy an’ so fat,

T’was late that night when I got home,  t’was early in the morning.
Me mammy says get into bed, me boy ye should be snoring.
What kept ye out me mammy says, ye know she awful fussy.
Says I sure I was only playing with my girlfriends pussy.

Well me mammy nearly done her nut, come here ye little brat.
A chap like you of thirty-two, them things should not be at.
But mammy you should see it such a lovely pussy cat.
A rubbing up against me a sittin’ on the mat (meow).

Chorus

Oh Me girlfriend has a pussy, a lovely pussy now.
An’ every time I rubs it, a she goes meow.
She has a lovely pussy, I seen it in her house.
I did I seen her pussy cat, a gobble up a mouse.

Oh you thought it was so naughty, but it’s not a naughty song.
Ye thought it was so naughty, I was codding all along.
Pussy, pussy, pussy, a pussy pussy cat.
Pussy, pussy, pussy, so fluffy an’ so fat.

Pussy, pussy, pussy, so fluffy an’ so fat (Meow).

 

I Went To The Sea

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

“Johnny where did ye go on your holidays?”

I went ta the sea, I went ta the sea.
I went ta the sea, for the see ta sea.
Did the sea see you, did the sea see you.
Well it waved at me anyhow.

Oh What a lovely place to be,

 

Sitting on the sand beside the sea.
There I was with my spade an’ bucket.
The rain came down an’ me daddy said f**.

Chorus

I went ta the sea, I went ta the sea.
I went ta the sea, for the see ta sea.
Did the sea see you, did the sea see you.
Well it waved at me anyhow.

Seein’ all the little childer play.
Making sand castles, on a summers day.
Swimming in the sea, oh so blue.
Splashing about with our beach balls too.

Chorus

I went ta the sea, I went ta the sea.
I went ta the sea, for the see ta sea.
Did the sea see you, did the sea see you.
Well it waved at me anyhow.

“Ah and what else happened Johnny?”

Oh there I was with me brother Mick.
Daddy gave us ice-cream for ta lick.
Then he filled us up with chips an’ coke.
He sat down an’ had a smoke.

Chorus

I went ta the sea, I went ta the sea.
I went ta the sea, for the see ta sea.
Did the sea see you, did the sea see you.
Well it waved at me anyhow.

(OH) What a lovely place ta be.
Sitting on the sand beside the sea.
There I was with my spade an’ bucket.
The rain came down an me daddy said f**.

Chorus

I went ta the sea, I went ta the sea.
I went ta the sea, for the see ta sea.
Did the sea see you, did the sea see you.
Well it waved at me anyhow.

Seen all the little childer play.
Making sand castles, on a summers day.
Swimming in the sea, oh so blue.
Splashing about with our beach balls too.

Chorus

I went ta the sea, I went ta the sea.
I went ta the sea, for the see ta sea.
Did the sea see you, did the sea see you.
Well it waved at me anyhow.

An’ I really see it now.
Sure it waved at me anyhow/
C’mon Johnny, you’re only doting now.
You’re only doting now.

Who Wants To Be A Millionaire

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie)…..”Johnny”

(Johnny)…”Ya”

(Richie) …”Are ye ready?”

(Johnny)….”Ya”

(Richie)…”Final answer?”

(Johnny )…”Final answer”

(Richie)…”No doubts?”

(Johnny)…”No doubts, You start and I’ll join in”

(Richie)…”Right Johnny, here we go”

(Johnny)….”And thats the truth”

Chorus

There I was upon the telly, who wants ta be a millionaire.
A sitting opposite Gaybo, on a great big chair.
Is that your final answer, a do ye want ta phone a friend.
Take your time, no doubts, its your choice in the end.

The questions are so simple, but they’re tricky now as well.
Ya know, ya know the answer, but its very hard ta tell.
Is grass a crop or is it not is scutch a grass or what.
I think I’ll ask the audience, they look a brainy lot.,

Chorus

There I was upon the telly, who wants ta be a millionaire.,
A sitting opposite Gaybo, on a great big chair.
Is that your final answer, a do ye want ta phone a friend.
Take your time, no doubts, its your choice in the end.

Ah do ye want ta phone a friend, yes I think I know the one.
If ye want ta get a million, a ring your man Ben Dunne. 
Ah ye know I’m only joking, it’s me mammy now I’ll ring.
‘Cos I know that me mammy, ah she knows everything.

Chorus

There I was upon the telly, who wants ta be a millionaire.
A sitting opposite Gaybo, a great big chair.
Is that your final answer, a do ye want ta phone a friend.
Take your time, no doubts, its your choice in the end.

I’ll go fifty fifty, ‘cos I think I know the one.
But now that you’ve took way the two, sure the one I knew was gone.
But I’m happy an’ contented, I’ve got a right few bob.
An’ I’m glad that Gay, at long last has got a cushy job.

Chorus

There I was upon the telly, who wants ta be a millionaire.
A sitting opposite Gaybo, on a great big chair.
Is that your final answer, a do ye want ta phone a friend.
Take your time, no doubts, its your choice in the end.

A lot of money for to lose an’ a quare lot for ta spend.

“An’ thats the truth, I’d know”

 Me An’ Me Grandad

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

Me an’ me grandad, hand in hand together.
We walk across Mt.Leinster, in all kinds of weather.
The years have made him older but he’s gentle an’ he’s kind.
It’s the sheep upon the mountain, that’s always on his mind.

Me mammy says me grandad, is as old as old can be.
Yet long ago he was a boy, a little boy like me.
He used to play where I play now along the mountainside.
But now he sits an’ smokes his pipe, beside the old fire side.

Chorus

Me an’ me grandad, hand in hand together.
We walk across Mt.Leinster, in all kinds of weather.
The years have made him older but he’s gentle an’ he’s kind.
It’s the sheep upon the mountain, that’s always on his mind.

Me mammy says me grandad, is as wise as wise can be.
‘Cos long ago he went ta school, a little boy like me.
He used ta run an’ jump an’ play, his hair was full of curls.
An’ when he went ta school, he’d play with all the boys an’ girls.

Chorus

Me an’ me grandad, hand in hand together.
We walk across Mt.Leinster, in all kinds of weather.
The years have made him older but he’s gentle an’ he’s kind.
It’s the sheep upon the mountain, that’s always on his mind.

He is the greatest grandad an’ I’m glad that he’s mine.

The Castle At Old Ballymoon

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

Old Ballymoon, old Ballymoon.
The castle at old Ballymoon.
A place in my memory that I’ll never forget.
The castle at old Ballymoon.

Me father he brought me on the bar of the bike,
when I was a little garçon.
That was the first time I ever did see,
The castle at old Ballymoon.

Chorus

Old Ballymoon, old Ballymoon.
The castle at old Ballymoon.
A place in my memory, that I’ll never forget.
The castle at old Ballymoon.

On our way home from school, we’d play there for hours.
Cowboys an’ indians up here in the towers.
No hollywood western, could ever compare.
With the cowboys that I played with there.

Chorus

Old Ballymoon, old Ballymoon.
The castle at old Ballymoon.
A place in my memory, that I’ll never forget.
The castle at old Ballymoon.

It was there at sixteen, she gave me a kiss.
At the back of the inside front wall.
She says Johnny ye know now, there’s no place like this.
An’ its no lent from Fenagh a’tall.

Chorus

Old Ballymoon, old Ballymoon.
The castle at old Ballymoon.
A place in my memory that I’ll never forget.
The castle at old Ballymoon.

Chorus

Old Ballymoon, old Ballymoon.
The castle at old Ballymoon.
A place in my memory, that I’ll never forget.
The castle at old Ballymoon.

Me Scarecrow

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus
Oh Every year we make them, from rags an’ sticks an’ straws.
He was the grandest scarecrow, that you have ever saw. 
We make a beard a horsehair an’ we’d stick it on his jaw.
Then we’d put him in the potato drills to frighten the jackdaw.

His trousers was me fathers with a patch upon its ass.
His coat it was me brothers that he used ta wear ta mass.
His hat it was me grandads, was made out ta straw. 
A great combination, for to frighten the jackdaw.

Chorus
Oh Every year we make them, from rags an’ sticks an’ straws.
He was the grandest scarecrow, that you have ever saw. 
We make a beard a horsehair an’ we’d stick it on his jaw.
Then we’d put him in the potato drills to frighten the jackdaw.

The birds they didn’t like him, of that there is no doubt.
They shit upon his hat an’ circled all about.
Me mammy said thats awful, the birds should not do that. 
But every year they’d do the same, they’d shit upon his hat.

Chorus
Oh  Every year we make them, from rags an’ sticks an’ straws.
He was the grandest scarecrow, that you have ever saw. 
We make a beard a horsehair an’ we’d stick it on his jaw.
Then we’d put him in the potato drills to frighten the jackdaw.

The spiders, the earwigs, the ladybirds as well. 
The snails an’ the slugs inside him, they would dwell.
A little mouse would make his house, inside the scarecrows chest.
An’ without a doubt, inside his mouth, the robin built her nest.

Chorus
Oh Every year we make them, from rags an’ sticks an’ straws.
He was the grandest scarecrow, that you have ever saw. 
We make a beard a horsehair an’ we’d stick it on his jaw.
Then we’d put him in the potato drills to frighten the jackdaw.

A great combination for to frighten the jackdaw.

I Am An Auld Turkey

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

I am an auld turkey, I get no fair play, I’ll end up on the table on a Christmas day.
You’ll pull out me feathers from me lovely skin. 
Then you wash me out an’ stuff the breadcrumbs in.
You feed me well you don’t give a feck, come christmas week your gonna ring me neck.

Oh gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, google, google, google, google.
That’s all I can say in defence. 
Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, google, google, google, google.
Over the hen house fence.

The hen house is clean the straw is dry.
Everything is grand an’ I know why. 
Your giving me an’ extra feed each day.
‘Cos your gonna sell me an’ get your pay.

Chorus

I am an auld turkey, I get no fair play, I’ll end up on the table on a Christmas day.
You’ll pull out me feathers, from me lovely skin. 
Then you wash me out an’ stuff the breadcrumbs in.
You feed me well, you don’t give a feck, come Christmas week your gonna ring me neck.

Oh gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, google, google, google, google.
That’s all I can say in defence. 
Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, google, google, google, google.
Over the hen house fence.

Your afraid of your life the fox will get me. 
You’ll take me life the same as he.
The fox would love to give me the chop.
But your gonna hang me up dead in the shop.

Chorus

I am an auld  turkey, I get no fair play, I’ll end up on the table on a Christmas day.
You’ll pull out me feathers from me lovely skin. 
Then you wash me out and stuff the breadcrumbs in.
You feed me well you don’t give a feck come Christmas week your gonna ring me neck.

Oh gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, google, google, google, google.
That’s all I can say in defence. 
Oh gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, google, google, google, google.
Over the hen house fence.

The First Little Car That I Ever Bought

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Well I went ta the scrapyard, a gear box ta buy.
An what did I spy there, with my little eye.
I recognised it, the minute I saw it. 
The first little car, that I ever bought.

The seats were all torn an’ cover in dust.
An most of the body was riddled with rust.
But the memories came back in my mind when I thought.
Of the first little car that I ever bought.

When Nancy an’ me went spinning around.
Her father would show, his concern with a frown.
The nights we went courtin’, the nights we got caught.
In the first little car, that I ever bought.

The beautiful day, we became man an’ wife.
Was then we sat out, on the drive of our life. 
Tin cans an’ aul boots all tied in a knot.
On the first little car, that I ever bought.

Five childer later, we still hit the road.
With them all in the back, well it was quite a load.
Sure they had such good times, they played an’ they fought.
In the first little car, that I ever bought.

Well I had it for then years from seventy-two.
An’ I thought it was time, I should get somethin’ new.
But no matter what I drove I never forgot. 
The first little car, that I ever bought.

Now a bit like myself, she’s the worst of the wear.
She’s lost her colour an’ I’ve lost me hair.
A lifetime of memories an’ the joy that she brought.
The first little car, that I ever bought.

But there’s no way a’tall, we can turn back the clock. 
On the first little car, that I ever bought.
What there’s no way a’tall, we can turn back the clock. 
On the first little car, that we ever bought.

Nellie In The Deli

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Nellie, Nellie, Nellie, Nellie, Nellie, Nellie, Nellie, Nellie.

Chorus

(OH) Nellie at the deli in the service station.
Every little sandwich, is a Nellie creation.
The ham has gone stale, she has it for days. 
You’ll never know the differ, when she slaps on mayonnaise.

Nellie now the crater, she let nothing go ta waste.
She’d always mix it up into a salad or a paste.
She’d slap it in the middle of the rolls of bread.
Use up the bits an’ scraps, thats were her money it is made.

Chorus

Oh Nellie at the deli in the service station.
Every little sandwich, is a Nellie creation.
The ham has gone stale, she has it for days. 
You’ll never know the differ, when she slaps on mayonnaise.

“Nellie is a good one, Johnny”
“Oh she’s square good, you’ll always get a great aul roll out of her”

At five a clock each morning, Nellie jumps out of bed.
So many people going ta work, now they have ta be fed.
There looking for there breakfast or a sandwich for their lunch.
An’ Nellie at the deli doesn’t charge ’em very much.

Chorus

Oh Nellie at the deli in the service station.
Every little sandwich, is a Nellie creation.
The ham has gone stale, she has it for days. 
You’ll never know the differ, when she slaps on mayonnaise.

Chorus

Oh Nellie at the deli in the service station.
Every little sandwich, is a Nellie creation.
The ham has gone stale, she has it for days. 
You’ll never know the differ, when she slaps on mayonnaise.

Nellie, Nellie, Nellie, Nellie, Nellie, Nellie, Nellie, Nellie,
Nellie, Nellie, Nellie, Nellie, Nellie, Nellie, Nellie, Nellie,
Nellie, Nellie, Nellie, Nellie, Nellie, Nellie, Nellie, Nellie…..

The Health And Leisure Centre

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

I eat what I like, when I’m looking at the telly. 
Bags of crisps, cans of coke, I’m puttin’ on a belly.
Then wife said your not gonna sit here for the winter.
‘Cos I’m gonna send ye to the health an’ leisure centre.

The health an’ leisure centre, thats the place I goes.
To lift me arms an’ bend me back an’ try en touch me toes.
I know me bum is spreading an’ I have a double chin.
But the health an’ leisure centre, will get me back in shape again.

They wrote me out a program an’ showed me what ta do. 
We’ll put muscles on ye, like ye never knew. 
They had me pumpin’ iron, did ye ever see the like. 
Peddling like an eagit, with no wheels upon me bike.

Chorus

The health an’ leisure centre, that’s the place I goes.
To lift me arms an’ bend me back an’ try en touch me toes.
I know me bum is spreading an’ I have a double chin.
But the health an’ leisure centre, will get me back in shape again.

They put me on the treadmill, I broke out in a sweat.
I was hardly on a minute, when I was nearly bet.
Begore I tried the steper, it wasn’t easy now ye see. 
An’ that yoke they call the rower, knocked the stuffings outta me.

Chorus

The health an’ leisure centre, that’s the place I goes.
To lift me arms an’ bend me back an’ try en touch me toes.
I know me bum is spreading an’ I have a double chin.
But the health an’ leisure centre, will get me back in shape again.

They put me in the steam room, steam was coming out me ears.
The stuck me in the sauna, the seat would flow like tears.
They brought me to the swimming pool, they weren’t finished yet. 
They threw me in on top of me head an’ I nearly froze ta death.

Chorus

The health an’ leisure centre, that’s the place I goes.
To lift me arms an’ bend me back an’ try en touch me toes.
I know me bum is spreading an’ I have a double chin.
But the health an’ leisure centre, will get me back in shape again.

The health an’ leisure centre, will help ye lost the pounds. 
There springing up like mushrooms, in the villages an’ the towns. 
Sure I knows all about them, I’ve done ’em all before.
An’ I was still a fat arse an’ I can’t take anymore.

“Johnny, ye can’t say that” 
“But I am a fat arse, I am”

All Ireland Ploughing Match

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie)  “Every year, Johnny”
(Johnny) “Every year for three days, wet or dry. I wouldn’t miss it for the world, lad”.

Chorus

All Ireland ploughing match, every year I’m at.
With raincoat, stick an’ wellies an’ I don’t forget me hat.
A trudging through the gutter, the crowds an’ the muck.
Everyone is happy ‘cos where there’s muck, there’s luck.

Me homeplace now in Ireland, is in a Garryhill.
We always had great ploughmen an’ begore we have them still.
There ploughin’ with the horses, tractors old an’ new.
An’ the women they plough best of all an’ Anna-mai McHugh.

Chorus

All Ireland ploughing match, every year I’m at.
With raincoat stick an’ wellies an’ I don’t forget me hat.
A trudging through the gutter, the crowds an’ the muck.
Every one is happy ‘cos where there’s muck, there’s luck.

The field is like a town, with tents, shops an’ stands.
Pubs inside the marques, with music from great bands.
We came ta see the ploughing before there’s much, much, more.
There’s all kinds of sorts of yokes, novelties galore.

Chorus

All Ireland ploughing match, every year I’m at.
With raincoat, stick an’ wellies an’ I don’t forget me hat.
A trudging through the gutter, the crowds an the muck.
Every one is happy, ‘cos where there’s muck, there’s luck.

Young lads like the tractors an’ the great big four wheel drive.
Aul lads love the horse plough, reminisce about their lives.
Women used ta do the baking, always mind the child.
Now they can do everything educated young an’ wild.

Chorus

All Ireland ploughing match, every year I’m at.
With raincoat, stick an’ wellies an’ I don’t forget me hat.
A trudging through the gutter, the crowds an’ the muck.
Every one is happy, ‘cos where there’s muck, there’s luck.

Chorus

All Ireland ploughing match, every year I’m at.
With raincoat, stick an’ wellies an’ I don’t forget me hat.
A trudging through the gutter, the crowds an’ the muck.
Every one is happy, ‘cos where there’s muck, there’s luck.

Every one is happy an’ they don’t give a… didley-owe-dor-I-dah.

Boy Bands Karaoke

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie)…. “Johnny, do ye like boy bands?”
(Johnny)…. “I do but my grandad doesn’t”
(Richie)…. “Why, what does your grandad say?”

Chorus

Grandad says a be the hokey,
Boy bands there just karaoke.
They’re just singin’ to a backin’ track.
It’s quite easy when ye get the knack.

You don’t have ta be a masculine.
If you look like a barbie that’ll suit fine.
Ye have ta be a little dear.
An’ you do real well in your fancy gear.

Grandad says he likes Smokey.
They’re not singing to a karaoke.
They’re the band ta make ye rock.
‘Cos they’re a part of the real auld stock.

Chorus

Grandad says a be at the hokey.
Boy bands there just karaoke.
They’re just singin’ to a backin’ track.
It’s quite easy when ye get the knack.

You don’t have ta be a masculine.
If you look like a barbie that’ll suit fine.
Ye have ta be a little dear.
An’ you do real well in your fancy gear.

He likes Mick Jagger an’ the Rollin’ Stones.
Rod Stewart, Dire Straits, the man Tom Jones.
He loves the Beatles, Fleetwood Mac.
He says them fellas really have the knack.

Chorus

Oh Grandad says a be the hokey.
Boy bands there just karaoke.
They’re just singin’ to a backin’ track.
It’s quite easy when ye get the knack.

You don’t have ta be a masculine.
If you look like a barbie that’ll suit fine.
Ye have ta be a little dear.
An’ you do real well in your fancy gear.

“One more time lad, you sing it”

Chorus

Oh Grandad says a be the hokey.
Boy bands there just karaoke.
They’re just singin’ to a backin’ track.
It’s quite easy when ye get the knack.

You don’t have ta be a masculine.
If you look like a barbie that’ll suit fine.
Ye have ta be a little dear.
An’ you do real well in your fancy gear.

Fifty Years Loving

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

The girl that I love is now feeble an’ grey.
But she’s still the girl of my wedding day.
Her voice is so gentle, her ways are so kind.
I’m glad now that she is still mine.

Fifty years loving an’ fifty years gone.
Fifty years sharing with the same old loved one.
Laughing dancing an’ hearing you sing.
Such joy an’ contentment to my life you do bring.

Chorus

The girl that I love is now feeble an’ grey.
But she’s still he girl of my wedding day.
Her voice is so gentle, her ways are so kind.
I’m glad now that she is still mine.

The first time I saw her at my Grannies wake.
She was there in the parlour, she was cuttin’ the cake.
I thought she was gorgeous but she nare noticed me.
Til’ I slipped on the mat an’ I spilt all me tea.

Chorus

The girl that I love is now feeble an’ grey.
But she’s still he girl of my wedding day.
Her voice is so gentle, her ways are so kind.
I’m glad now that she is still mine.

Soon we were married in the church at Drumphea.
I remember it well t’was a grand summers day.
We all were so happy the sun shone so bright.
The colecans kept us awake half the night.

Chorus

The girl that I love is now feeble an’ grey.
But she’s still the girl of my wedding day.
Her voice is so gentle, her ways are so kind.
I’m glad now that she is still mine.

I’m glad now that she is still mine.

The Lotto Balls

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

Twice a week I watch me balls bobbin up an’ down.
Twice a week I watch me balls hoping all around.
It’s all the balls them lotto balls, me balls never hop out.
Red an’ green an’ yellow ones juggling all about.

Twice a week I pick me numbers in the local shop.
Twice a week I do it sure I can never stop.
Sometimes I do a quick pick a scattered all about.
But no matter what I pick me balls, they never do hop out.

Chorus

Twice a week I watch me balls bobbin’ up an’ down.
Twice a week I watch me balls hoping all around.
It’s all the balls them lotto balls, me balls never hop out.
Red an’ green an’ yellow ones juggling all about.

I’ve been doing aul birthday numbers since the lotto it began.
Me mammy says that one day I could be a lucky man.
We pick numbers from the calendar a hanging on the wall.
But the balls with all me numbers never bob out a’tall.

Chorus

Twice a week I watch me balls bobbin’ up an’ down.
Twice a week I watch me balls hoping all around.
Its all the balls them lotto balls, me balls never hop out.
Red an’ green an’ yellow ones juggling all about.

(Richie)…. “Johnny”
(Johnny)… “Ya”
(Richie)…. “If ye won a million, what would ye do?”
(Johnny )…. “I’d tell what I’d do…….. Nothin..”

Chorus

Twice a week I watch me balls bobbin’ up an’ down.
Twice a week I watch me balls hoping all around.
It’s all the balls them lotto balls me balls never hop out.
Red an’ green an’ yellow ones juggling all about.

‘One more time lad”

Chorus

Twice a week I watch me balls bobbin’ up an’ down.
Twice a week I watch me balls hoping all around.
It’s all the balls them lotto balls, me balls never hop out.
Red an’ green an’ yellow ones juggling all about.

One day maybe mine, will be the ones that do hop out…
Ya….

Traffic Everywhere

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Now I tried ta go to work in ta me local town.
But I get stuck in traffic, I can’t move up or down.
Lorries here, vans there an’ cars everywhere.
An’ even JCB’s digging up the market square.

Chorus

Oh Traffic, traffic, traffic, ah traffic everywhere.
All this feckin’ traffic, makes ye want ta swear.
Traffic, traffic, traffic every other day.
All that feckin’ traffic, always in me way.

Now people they do quare things, when they’re in a traffic jam.
Some people get so angry, some stay so very calm.
Lads eating fags an’ yawning an’ then their nose they pick.
While the ladies powder up their noses an’ slap on the lipstick.

Chorus

(Oh) Traffic, traffic, traffic, ah traffic everywhere.
All this feckin’ traffic, makes ye want ta swear.
Traffic, traffic, traffic every other day.
All that feckin’ traffic always in me way.

(Johnny)….. “I can’t take any more of it lad”
(Richie)….”Ah say three our fathers an’ you’ll be alright”

Be careful of the fella with his elbow out the door.
That’s a sure sign of a real bould hur.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            He’s ravin’ at the engine, he’s gonna make a burst.
An’ nothings gonna stop him, he’s determined he’ll be first.

Chorus

(Oh) Traffic, traffic, traffic, ah traffic everywhere.
All this feckin’ traffic,m makes ye want ta swear.
Traffic, traffic, traffic, every other day.
All that feckin’ traffic, always in me way.

All that feckin’ traffic, always in me way.
“An’ thats the truth”

 

A Knicker’s Shop

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

“Johnny”
“Ya” 
“Did ye see Maggie Murphy lately?”

Chorus

I met sweet Maggie Murphy down at the parish shop.
She says, ye know now Johnny, we should start a knickers shop.
We’d sell all kinds of frilly things, bras of great selection.
There’s a new bra out called a sheep dog bra, points them all in the one direction.

“An’ how is business Johnny?”
“You should see when Joe Dolan comes ta town.”
“Why what happens when Joe comes ta town?”

Ah the girls buy loads of knickerses a going to ta show.
An’ when he starts ta singing, ah sure the throws them up at Joe.
Then Ben now that Joes brother, collects them all up now ye see.
An’ the next day at the knickers shop, he sells ’em back ta me.

“Ah your coding”
“I’m not, its the truth!”

Chorus

I met sweet Maggie Murphy, down at the parish shop.
She says ye know now Johnny, we should start a knickers shop.
We’d sell all kinds of frilly things, bras of great selection.
There’s a new bra out called a sheep dog bra, points them all in the one direction.

Ah TD he came in one day, he was so nice an’ pleasant.
He says, it’s for me girlfriend, I want a lovely present.
He bought a frilly knickers, not as big now as a hanky.
Spending all his money on a bit a hanky pinky.

Chorus

I met sweet Maggie Murphy, down at the parish shop.
She says ye know now Johnny, we should start a knickers shop.
We’d sell all kinds of frilly things, bras of great selection.
There’s a new bra out called a sheep dog bra, points them all in the one direction.

“Is there any other kind a bras, Johnny?”
“Well theres a new bra out called the JCB bra, its makes mountains out a mole hills”

Chorus

I met sweet Maggie Murphy, down at the parish shop.
She says ye know now Johnny, we should start a knickers shop.
We’d sell all kinds of frilly things, bras of great selection.
There’s a new bra out called a sheep dog bra, points them all in the one direction.

There’s a new bra out called a sheep dog bra, points them all in the one direction.
An’ there’s one for everyone in the audience….
An’ that’s the truth!

 

Me School Bag Is Too Heavy

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

(Oh) Me school bag is too heavy an’ it make some shoulders sore.
At half eight every morning, I drag it out the door.
I heist it up upon me back, it weighs me to the ground.
Then off to school I stagger, down the footpath of me town.

Chorus

(Oh) Our schoolbags are so heavy.
They’re clumsy, they’re always in our way.
Yes, our schoolbags are so heavy.
Why do we have to fill them everyday.

(Oh) me schoolbag is so heavy an’ I’m so very small.
Sure half the stuff inside it I never use a’tall.
But everyday I fill it up, with books an’ pens the lot.
An’ when it’s full, I know now there’s nothing I forgot.

Chorus

(Oh) Our schoolbags are so heavy.
They’re clumsy, they’re always in our way.
Yes, our schoolbags are so heavy.
Why do we have to fill them everyday,

(Oh) Me school bag is too heavy an’ it make some shoulders sore.
At half eight every morning, I drag it out the door.
I heist it up upon me back, it weighs me to the ground.
Then off to school I stagger, down the footpath of me town.

Chorus

(Oh) Our schoolbags are so heavy.
They’re clumsy, they’re always in our way.
Our schoolbags are so heavy.
Why do we have to fill them everyday.

Yes, our schoolbags are so heavy.
Half the stuff we never use a’tall.
My schoolbag is so heavy.
It’s so big an’ I’m so very small.

It’s so big an’ I’m so very small.

Back Sate Of Me Auld Morris Car

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie)…. “Johnny, did ya remember when we had the morris minor?”

(Johnny)…. “There was a great back sate in her lad, you start an’ I’ll join in”

Chorus

I was thinking today of me auld morris car. 
An’ the girls that I drove near an’ far.
Ah we’d hug an’ we’d love, oh heavens above. 
The back sate a me auld morris car.

(Richie)….”Now Johnny, its your turn”

Now I found a ring in a halloween brack. 
An’ I gave it to her for the craic.
Well I gave her the ring, then we broke a spring.
The back sate a me auld morris car.

Chorus

I was thinking today a me auld morris car. 
An’ the girls that I drove near an’ far.
Ah we’d hug an’ we’d love, oh heavens above. 
The back sate a me auld morris car.

I asked her that night, can I see ya again.
On Sunday we went for a spin. 
Oh the things that we did, sure the priest he forbid.
The back sate of me aul morris car.

Chorus

I was thinking today of me aul morris car. 
An’ the girls that I drove near an’ far.
Ah we’d hug an’ we’d love, oh heavens above. 
The back sate in me aul morris car.

Some girls were so quite, so gentle an’ shy.
But when they went out with me boy.
Oh heavens above the way they’d make love.
The back sate a me auld morris car.

I was thinking today a my auld morris car. 
An’ the girls that I drove near an far.
Sure we thought we made love, oh heavens above.
The back sate of me aul morris car.

Whi – Del-daw- Del-Dum

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus
Mammy said that Santy bring a whi-del- daw-del- dum.
She did, she said he’d bring one, when Santy he would come.
Then Santy he brought me a whi-del- daw-del- dum.
An’ when I pressed his belly button, this is what he’d hum.

I got me little copy book an’ Santy now I wrote.
Put the letter in the grate an’ up the chimney it did float.
In the letter I asked Santy for a whi-del- daw-del- dum.
One that when I pressed its belly button, this is what he’d hum.

Chorus

Mammy said that Santy bring a whi-del- daw-del- dum.
She did she said he’d bring one, when Santy he would come.
Then Santy he brought me a whi-del- daw-del- dum.
An’ when I pressed his belly button, this is what he’d hum.

On Christmas morning down the stairs, down out to the tree.
An’ there was whidle dadal dum a looking up at me.
There beneath the tree me whi-del- daw-del- dum. 
An’ when I pressed his belly button this is what he’d hum.

Chorus

Mammy said that Santy bring a whi-del- daw-del- dum.
She did she said he’d bring one, when Santy he would come.
Then Santy he brought me a whi-del- daw-del- dum.
An’ when I pressed  his belly button, this is what he’d hum….

A Willie A Me Own

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Richie….”Johnny, Johnny did your sister Bridie ever get married?”

She used ta go with Tony an’ then she went with Tom.
She used ta go with Charlie but not for very long. 
Ah Bridie was a good court, she’d hug ye like a glove.
Ah then she met Willie, t’was then she fell in love.

No matter who’d she bring home, her father would be vexed.
He didn’t like the first lad, he wouldn’t like the next.
The father had high notions, a money an’ a farm. 
Willie he had nothing, only loads a charm.

Chorus

She says Daddy don’t be silly, sure now I have a Willie, 
Now I have a Willie a me own.
Oh Daddy don’t give out an’ don’t just start ta shout.
Willie Kelly is the grandest boy about.

Our father said, Bridie ye can have your Willie boy.
You’ll soon get very tired of him, like your favourite toy.
An’ when ye have no money an’ nothing of your own.
Don’t come running back ta Daddy, I won’t listen to ye moan.

Chorus

She says Daddy don’t be silly, sure now I have a Willie, 
Now I have a Willie a me own.
Oh Daddy don’t give out an’ don’t just start ta shout.
Willie Kelly is the grandest boy about.

Didn’t Willie win the lotto, three million pounds or more.
Then he was a welcomed to knock on Bridies door.
Bridie married Willie, now she wears his wedding ring.
An’ when she meets her daddy, this song she’ll always sing.
Chorus

She sings, Daddy don’t be silly, sure now I have a Willie. 
Now I have a Willie of me own.
Oh Daddy don’t give out an’ don’t just start ta shout.
Willie Kelly is the grandest boy about.

An’ I don’t know why you always giving out…..

Saturday Night When I Was Small

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh
(Richie)…. “Johnny, di ya remember Saturday night when we were small?”

(Johnny)…. “Gore, they were great auld times”

Chorus

Saturday night, when I was small. 
Saturday night, was the best night of all.
Stirrin’ the jelly an’ steepin’ the peas.
We all had our own jobs, as busy as bees.

My job was polishing shoes nice an’ bright. 
Me sister would iron the shirts oh so white.
The baby was sleeping, as quite as a mouse.
An’ Radio Eireann was playin’ Ceili House.

Chorus

Saturday night, when I was small. 
Saturday night, was the best night of all.
Stirrin’ the jelly an’ steepin’ the peas.
We all had our own jobs, as busy as bees.

Ah mammy brought in the auld tin bath. 
An’ put it in front of the fire on the matt. 
Then she filled it up with water so hot.
From kettles, saucepans an’ the auld skillet pot.

Chorus

Saturday night, when I was small. 
Saturday night, was the best night of all.
Stirrin’ the jelly an’ steepin’ the peas.
We all had our own jobs, as busy as bees.

Ah Mammy’ed wash all our hairs an’ our ears. 
The soap in our eyes, now there’d be so much tears.
Then she’d dry us all over an’ our hair she would brush. 
Then into the bed, now as snug as a trush.

(Richie)…. “Johnny ye forgot the Guddy!!”
(Johnny)…. “Oh the Guddy was a great yoke”

(Johnny)… “A big mug a bread, sugar an’ hot milk” 
“Oh ye couldn’t go ta bed without the Guddy lad”

Chorus

Saturday night, when I was small. 
Saturday night, was the best night of all.
Stirrin’ the jelly an’ steepin’ the peas.
We all had our own jobs, as busy as bees.

Then we’d all say the rosary, down there on our knees.

(Richie)… “C’mon home now, Johnny”
(Johnny)… “Alright, we’ll go make Guddy lad”

Don’t Throw Yout Little On The Ground

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Oh, Ireland now this isle a green.
The grandest place, you’ve ever seen.
To keep it clean, we have a snag. 
It’s called the bleedy plastic bag.

Chorus

Don’t throw your litter on the ground.
The litter wardens on his round.
If you throw your litter on the ground.
It’s gonna cost ye fifty pound.

So watch out for the litter lout.
There’s plenty of them all about.
Just tell them straight, its not cool.
A litter you is just a fool.

Ah, the plastic bags they’re everywhere. 
They’re blown around up in the air.
They’re caught in skeough an’ bushes too.
Now this is what we have ta do.

Chorus

Don’t throw your litter on the ground.
The litter wardens on his round.
If you throw your litter on the ground.
It’s gonna cost ye fifty pound.

Ye may laugh, haha an’ titter.
But no more now you can litter.
‘Cos in Ireland now we’re on our way. 
To become a litter free one day.

Ah, the plastic bags they’re everywhere. 
They’re blown around up in the air.
They’re caught in skeough an’ bushes too.
Now this is what we have ta do.

Chorus

Don’t throw your litter on the ground.
The litter wardens on his round.
If you throw your litter on the ground.
It’s gonna cost ye fifty pound.

Fifty, fifty, fifty pound. 
Fifty, fifty, fifty pound.
If ye throw your litter on the ground.
It’s gonna cost ye fifty pound.

Fifty, fifty, fifty pound.
Fifty, fifty, fifty pound.
If ye throw your litter on the ground. 
It’s gonna cost ye fifty pound…

The N.C.T. Test

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie)….”How is the car going Johnny?”
(Johnny)…. “It’s not going to bad”
(Richie)… “How long have ye her now?”

Me car is over ten years auld,
Years ago sure I should have sailed.                                                                                                                                                            **************** But I loved me car, it is the best.
Though I know it won’t pass the NCT test.

Oh the exhaust is blown an’ she’s burning oil.
When I start her, she blows smoke for a while.
I need ta give the brakes a pump.
An’ there’s dirty auld oil leaking from the sump.

Chorus

Oh the NCT, I’ll never pass the test.
I love me little car, it is the best.
Me car is over ten years auld.
But I’m not sorry that I never sauld.

 

Oh the wings are rusty an’ the bumper is gone.
I have two lights, a bulb in one. 
Worn wipers, windscreen they scratch.
An’ neither a the tyres on the wheels do match.

Chorus

Oh the NCT, I’ll never pass the test.
I love me little car, it is the best.
Me car is over ten years auld.
But I’m not sorry that I never sauld.

Some times this scrashing noise I hear.
The clutch starts slippin’ going into gear.
Now its very hard ta close the bonnet.
Since the day at the mart, when the cow jumped on it.

Chorus

Oh the NCT, I’ll never pass the test.
I love me little car, it is the best.
Me car is over ten years auld.
But I’m not sorry that I never sold.

On a journey, she still keeps tipping along. 
I know there’s a quare lotta things gone wrong.
But she never broke down in ten year.
I never had a crash, me insurance is clear.

Chorus

Oh the NCT, I’ll never pass the test.
I love me little car, it is the best.
Me car is over ten years auld.
But I’m not sorry that I never sauld.

Chorus

Oh the NCT, I’ll never pass the test.
I love me little car, it is the best.
Me car is over ten years auld.,
But I’m not sorry, that I never sauld.
No, I’m not sorry, that I never sauld.

“She’s a real chicken house lad!!”
“Ya…”

It’s Called The County Carlow

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

If ya look at the map of Ireland, ya’ll see a county fair.
It looks like South America, but they grow no coffee there.
It’s there they grow the sugar beet an’ I thought I’d let ye know. 
The celtic centre of Ireland, is the county of Carlow.

From Borris town to Bagenalstown an’ out ta Garryhill.
It’s there you’ll find the scallions an’ you can eat your fill.
Up along ta Tallow, Rathvilly an’ Clonmore.
They’re all a part of Carlow, the place that I adore.

Chorus

If ya look at the map of Ireland, you’ll see a county fair.
It looks like South America, but they grow no coffee there.
It’s there they grow the sugar beet an’ I thought I’d let ye know. 
The celtic centre of Ireland, is the county of Carlow.

There used ta be a four lakes there, long since gone.
The Burren, the Barrow, the Slaney still flow along.
Rathanna, the Royal Oak an’ Nurney up so high.
An’ higher still, Mt.Leinster a reaching for the sky.

Chorus

If ya look at the map of Ireland, ya’ll see a county fair.,
It looks like South America, but they grow no coffee there.
It’s there they grow the sugar beet an’ I thought I’d let ye know. 
The celtic centre of Ireland, is the county of Carlow.

The little street of Fenagh with the lovely granite wall .
Myshall, Kildavin, Ardattin, Clonegall.
Ballon, Ballmurphy, Palatine an’ Leighlinbridge., 
Tinryland,Bennekerry an’ all along the ridge.

Chorus

If a look at the map of Ireland, ya’ll see a county fair.,
It looks like South America, but they grow no coffee there.
It’s there they grow the sugar beet an’ I thought I’d let ye know. 
The celtic centre of Ireland, is the county of Carlow.

Over looking Hacketstown, theres Eagle hill.
Glynn an’ St.Mullins near Poll Mounty mill.
Clashganny, Balnabranna, Ballinkillen an’ Millford. 
Auld Leighlin cathedral an’ Rathgall hill fort.

Chorus

If ya look at the map of Ireland, you’ll see a county fair.
It looks like South America, but they grow no coffee there.
It’s a little place called Carlow an’ I thought I’d let ya know.                                                                                                                                             There’s no place now in Ireland, like the roads around Rathoe.
If your looking for a ramble, a that the place ta go.

(Richie)… “Ye forgot the nine stones Johnny, the nine stones!!!” 
(Johnny)…. “Ya….”

ART KAVANAGH 

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

He was born in Borris in eighteen thirty one.
Many years have now passed but his memory lives on.
He built the new railway and the viaduct as well.
An’ the house he was born in, the Kavanaghs still dwell.

Art Kavanagh was born with no legs or arms.
He could hunt, sail n’ fish, shoot with firearms.
There was nothing on earth, this man couldn’t do.
He could ride a horse an’ paint a picture or two.

He would sail on his Schooner to England you see. 
To the Houses of Parliament, where he was an MP.
He sailed up the Thames an’ go in the back door.
A right only accorded to the king now before.

Art Kavanagh was born with no legs or arms.
He could hunt, sail n’ fish, shoot with firearms.
There was nothing on earth, this man couldn’t do.
He could ride a horse an’ paint a picture or two.

Beside an oak tree sitting there on a seat.
As a Justice of Peace, all the locals he’d meet.
Settling auld quarrels and matchmaking too.
There was nothing on earth, this man couldn’t do.

Art Kavanagh was born with no legs or arms.
He could hunt, sail n’ fish, shoot with firearms.
There was nothing on earth, this man couldn’t do.
He could ride a horse an’ paint a picture or two.

Nothing on earth this man couldn’t do.

He could ride a horse an’ paint a picture or two.  

“Arthur MacMurrough Kavanagh”

He was born with no legs or arms and yet was an expert horseman, a first class shot, a noted yachtsman, a local Justice of the Peace  as well as a Member of Parliament.

The Battered Sausage

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

I bought a battered sausage, inside a public house.
And when I bit the top off, inside there was a mouse.
I was full of porter, it I did devour. 
Tho’ I did complain to the bar maid, that the sausage it was sour.

Chorus

Oh, batter on the sausages an’ batter on the fish.
Ah, batter on the chicken, sure it makes a tasty dish.
Ah, batter on the mushrooms an’ batter on the meat.
Ah, better put the batter on to cover it complete.

The bar maid got contrary, she said that’s the best of meat.
Ah now says I, a legs, tail an’ feet.
She says now good man, ah what is the matter.
I’ll tell ye what the matter is, its inside in the batter.

Chorus

Oh, batter on the sausages an’ batter on the fish.
An, batter on the chicken, sure it makes a tasty dish.
Ah, batter on the mushrooms an’ batter on the meat.
Ah, better put the batter on to cover it complete.

Next time ye go to the chip shop an’ your making up your mind.
Ye see that lovely batter, think what inside you might find.
Buy yourself a bag a chips, you’ll see now what you get.
‘Cos when ye ate a feed a batter, ye never know now what you’ll get.

Chorus

Oh, batter on the sausages an’ batter on the fish.
An, batter on the chicken, sure it makes a tasty dish.
Ah, batter on the mushrooms an’ batter on the meat.
Ah, better put the batter on to cover it complete.

Chorus

Oh, batter on the sausages an’ batter on the fish.
Ah, batter on the chicken, sure it makes a tasty dish.
Ah, batter on the mushrooms an’ batter on the meat.
Ah, better put the batter on to cover it complete.

Ah, better put the batter on to cover it complete.
“An’ thats the truth, cos i’d know”

I Was Here Before Ya

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Now I a goes a shoppin’ upon a Saturday.
An’ everywhere I try ta park, there’s cars now in me way.
I spot a lovely little space, a car is pulling out.
But when I park me own car, this fella starts ta shout.

Chorus

I was here before ye, he shouted an’ he cursed.
I seen the car a pulling out, I did I seen it first.
I’ve been waiting, I’ve been watching, I’m here a quare long time.
An’ the space ye parked your car in, it really should be mine.

Me mammy says to me now the man he could be right.
Johnny, don’t a loose your temper an’ don’t you start ta fight.
Be the lord says me ta Mammy, I’m parked now here I’m staying.
Then me poor auld Mammy started on the rosary beads a praying.

Chorus

I was here before ye, he shouted an’ he cursed.
I seen the car a pulling out, I did I seen it first.
I’ve been waiting, I’ve been watching, I’m here a quare long time.
An’ the space ye parked your car in, it really should be mine.

Most people they are very nice, they’re very good an’ kind.
But put them in a car park an’ they nearly loose there mind.
They inch an’ shove an’ push their way, they snarl an’ growl an’ fight.
An’ no matter what they do wrong, they always think they’re right.

They’re driving round so slowly, they’re looking for a space.
The tension in their eyes an’ the sour look on their face.
Their eyeing every trolley, thats heading for a boot.
An’ if they don’t get their way, they’ll hoot an’ hoot an’ hoot.

Chorus

I was here before ye, he shouted an’ he cursed.
I seen the car a pulling out, I did I seen it first.
I’ve been waiting, I’ve been watching, I’m here a quare long time.
An’ the space ye parked your car in, it really should be mine.

I was here before ye.
No ye weren’t, I was here. I seen the spot before you an’ thats the truth… isn’t that right Mammy?
Your man got square contrary as thick now as a ditch.
An’ the woman that was out with him was an awful awl ******

JOE SOAP

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Johnny can the tell me, who Joe Soap could really be?
He’s a little part of everyone, even you an’ me.
Is he someone important, Gerry Ryan or the Pope.
No before he’s only just an’ ordinary Joe Soap.

Chorus

I reads it in the paper an’ I sees it on the news.
I hear it when the politicians emphasise their views.
They talk about this Joe Soap, Joe Soap in the street.
But no matter where we look for him, Joe Soap we cannot meet.

No telephone directory, has his name on any page. 
No one has ever seen a photograph, to guess his age.
The postman with the letter is in such a distress.
Because no body, no where, can tell him Joes address.

I told the children in the school, I hadn’t found him yet.
They said your gonna have ta look upon the Internet. 
Then surfing through the Internet, now what did I derive.
They said, there’s no such man as Joe Soap, in this world alive.

Chorus

I reads it in the paper an’ I sees it on the news.
I hear it when the politicians emphasise their views.
They talk about this Joe Soap, Joe Soap in the street.
But no matter where we look for him, Joe Soap we cannot meet.

We reads it in the paper an’ we sees it on the news.
We hear it when the politicians emphasise their views.
They talk about this Joe Soap, Joe Soap in the street.
But no matter where we look for him, Joe Soap we cannot meet.

(Richie) … “Johnny, Johnny its quare hard ta find him”

(Johnny)… “Be gore, when he wasn’t on the Internet, I don’t know, I don’t know?”

(Richie)… “Maybe, maybe we should try the tribunal”

(Johnny) ..”Ah no, we won’t try the tribunal, that’d take too long lad”

(Richie) … “Ah we may lave it so, Johnny”  .

(Johnny)… “I think so”

(Richie) ….”We may lave it so, lave it, we’ll lave it so”

(John) ..”Ya, Ya, Ya” 

Are The Bin Men Comin’?

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie)…. “Johnny, did ye put out the bin?”

(Johnny)…. “I did ya, I did”

Get your little wheelie bin. 
An’ put all of your rubbish in. 
Ye better hurry don’t be late. 
They’ll soon be outside of your gate.

Chorus

Are the bin men coming, are the bin men coming.
It’s the cry of every woman, will the bin men come today.
They’ll be looking for your wheelie bin, they’ll looking for your wheelie bin. 
You’d better hurry, don’t be late, they’ll soon be outside of your gate.

Every Thursday, they’re on time, whether it be wet or fine.
They’re the men to shift your bin, no matter what you put there in.
They always have a big hello, even if ye they don’t know.
Charlie wears his hair so long, but the drivers hair is long since gone.

Chorus

Are the bin men coming, are the bin men coming.
It’s the cry of every woman, will the bin men come today.
They’ll be looking for your wheelie bin, they’ll be looking for your wheelie bin. 
You’d better hurry, don’t be late, they’ll soon be outside of your gate.

So ye wheel your bin back in again. 
Next week ye’ll fill it to the brim.
Where does the rubbish all come from? 
Will it still be here, when we’re long gone?

Chorus

Are the bin men coming, are the bin men coming.
It’s the cry of every woman, will the bin men come today.
They’ll be looking for your wheelie bin, they’ll be looking for your wheelie bin. 
You’d better hurry, don’t be late, they’ll soon be outside of your gate.

Ar-de-dori-dori-dah-dorridle-diddle-dori-dah
De-dor-I-diddle-diidle-doddle-diddle-dah
A-riddle-doodle-dah-de-doddle-dah
Ar-de-dori-dori-dah-dorridle-diddle-dori-dah
De-dor-I-diddle-diidle-doddle-diddle-dah
A-riddle-doodle-dah-de-doddle-dah

I’m A Bottle A Stout

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

I’m a bottle, a bottle, a bottle a stout.
I’m hardly in your belly, till I want ta get out.
I’m a bottle, a bottle, a bottle a stout.
With me in your belly, you’ll be jumping about.

They put me in the pudding an’ the Christmas cake. 
They put me into everything, that they do bake.
Yer granny used ta drink me years ago.
But she never ever thought that anybody did know.,

Chorus

I’m a bottle, a bottle, a bottle a stout.,
I’m hardly in your belly, till I want ta get out.
I’m a bottle, a bottle, a bottle a stout.
With me in your belly, you’ll be jumping about.

If ye drink a bottle a stout each day.
They say that’s how ye’ll keep the doctor away.
Lies or truth its a good excuse.
For to get an auld bottle and let your hair hang loose.

They drink me at the weddings an’ the funerals too.
They always drink me if they have an auld do.
After working hard the whole week long. 
An’ auld bottle of stout, sure it’ll do no wrong.

Chorus

I’m a bottle, a bottle, a bottle a stout.
I’m hardly in your belly, till I want ta get out.,
I’m a bottle, a bottle, a bottle a stout.,
With me in your belly, you’ll be jumping about.

I know your mammy gives ye good advise. 
She says that porter it is an awful price.
Peeing your money up against the wall.
Ah that’s no value for your money at all.

Chorus

I’m a bottle,a bottle, a bottle a stout.
I’m hardly in your belly, till I want ta get out.
I’m a bottle, a bottle, a bottle a stout.
With me in your belly, you’ll be jumping about.

Chorus

I’m a bottle, a bottle, a bottle a stout.
I’m hardly in your belly, till I want ta get out.
I’m a bottle, a bottle, a bottle a stout.
With me in your belly, you’ll be jumping about.

With me in your belly, you’ll be starting ta shout.

With me in your belly………… you could get a clout….

The Alley Cracker

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie)…. “Johnny, Johnny did ya like rock ‘n’ roll when you were small?”
(Johnny)… “No, I’d rather be playing the auld handball lad”

I liked rock ‘n’ roll when I was small. 
But most of all I loved the auld handball. 
I’d say stand back, give me more space. 
An’ it won’t be long till I score an ace.

Chorus

I had an alley cracker when I was small.
I’d hop it on the floor an’ then it’d hit the wall.
I had an alley cracker when I was small. 
I’d hop it on the floor an’ it’d hit the wall.

Yad kill the ball at the butt of the wall.
The other fella wouldn’t be able ta play it at all.
Then ye hit it again, now short an’ swift.
If your playing with me, you’ll have ta shift.

Chorus

I had an alley cracker when I was small.
I’d hop it on the floor an’ then it’d hit the wall.
I had an alley cracker when I was small. 
I’d hop it on the floor an’ it’d hit the wall.

A don’t dilly dally, I don’t dilly dally.
We’re all going down to the hand ball alley.

Chorus

I had an alley cracker when I was small.
I’d hop it on the floor an’ then it’d hit the wall.
I had an alley cracker when I was small. 
I’d hop it on the floor an’ it’d hit the wall.

It’s a quare fast game full a skill.
I learnt it as a chap up in Garryhill.
Ye’d play three games of twenty one aces.
That ‘ll put ya through your paces.

Chorus

I had an alley cracker when I was small.
I’d hop it on the floor an’ then it’d hit the wall..
I had an alley cracker when I was small. 
I’d hop it on the floor an’ it’d hit the wall.

I don’t dilly dally, I don’t dilly dally.
We’re all going down to the handball alley.

Chorus

I had an alley cracker when I was small.
I’d hop it on the floor an’ then it’d hit the wall.
I had an alley cracker when I was small. 
I’d hop it on the floor an’ it’d hit the wall.

hop it on the floor an’ it’d hit the wall.
hop it on the floor an’ it’d hit the wall.
hop it on the floor an’ it’d hit the wall.
hop it on the floor an’ it’d hit the wall…….

Big Maggie Left Kerry

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Big Maggie she left Kerry in 1952. 
She had ta lave auld Ireland, there was nothing there to do. 
All she had in her pocket was a one ten shilling note.
An’ she looked so sad an’ lonely as she sad there on the boat.

Her mother said, big Maggie make sure an’ keep the faith. 
Say your prayers night an’ morning an’ don’t stay out to late.
Be careful of them London lads, you know now what they do. 
A decent boy from Ireland, is the only boy for you.

She got a job in London, making sandwiches an’ tae.
From early in the morning, she was on a woful pay.
She met big Jim from Mayo, he was over shovelling hae.
An’ it wasn’t very long, until they had there wedding day.

They bought a house in London, it was a site to see.
An’very soon Jim bought his first JCB.
He worked form early morning, right throughout the night. 
An’ very soon he owned all the wagons of the site.

Jim an’ Mags back home in Ireland now they’ve bought a big hotel.
An’ we’re so very proud of them, now didn’t they do well.
In a frame there hanging on the wall, is an old ten shilling note. 
Just like the one that Maggie, had that day upon the boat.

In a frame there hanging on the wall, is a old ten shilling note. 
Just like the one that Maggie had that day upon the boat. 
And that’s the truth….

Whack-A-Li-Lu

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

We met in a pub just outside a Perth,
You looked so beautiful in your short skirt.
Your skin was as brown as our barn door,
Such beauty in a woman I nar seen before.

Chorus

Whack-a-li-lu, A whack-a-li-lu,
I went to Australia it was there I found you.
Says you now me darling now what’ll we do? 
Says I we’ll start playing with your didgeridoo.

One day ya brought me down right to the seaside,
I took off me shirt an’ your eyes opened wide.
Oh Johnny, oh Johnny your skin is so white,
In Ireland do never ever see the sunlight?

Chorus

“A quar nice girl Johnny”. 
“Ah, they call em Sheilas in Australia lad”.

Says I, Will ya marry me? Says you theres no rush. 
You’ll have ta ask me father, he lives in the bush. 
An Aborigine man, he has rules of his own.
But he’d rather me marry, than ta be on me own.

Well I asked your father, could I have your hand.
He said a white man, the job it is grand. 
Love an respect her, for the rest of your life. 
An’ always be proud, that she’s your little wife.

Chorus

Whack-a-li-lu, A whack-a-li-lu,
I went to Australia, it was there I found you.
Says you now me darling what’ll we do, 
Says I we’ll start playing with your didgeridoo.

Whack-a-whack-a-whack-a-whack-a-li-lu
I went ta Australia it was there I found you.
Says you now me darling what will we do? 
Says I we’ll start playing with your didgeridoo.

“Where is she now Johnny?”
“She’s gone lad, she’s gone, she gone,
Ah she’s gone looking for her boomerang, that didn’t came back!”

A Teenager In 1968

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie) Well Johnny have all the pot holes filled?

I sent a lorry for a barrel a tar
It hasn’t came back here so far
Me shovel handle  broke in two
Oh what am I supposed ta do

Well ya have no tar an ya have no chippings
An ya have no shovel for ta keep it tipping’
So sit down here without delay
An we’ll have a tae

(Johnny) You know what sitting here reminds me of sitting outside a the marquees
(Richie)  In 1968 johnny
(Johnny) ”Thats right thats the truth”    Di ya ‘remember?

Sure I was a teenager in 1968
I had long jaggy hair an the craic it was great
I wore a flarey trousers an great big platform shoes
An a vietnam war was always in the news

(Richie) Stay out her Johnny stay out her
(Johnny) That’s right thats the truth face her for Mt.Leintser

Every one was working everybody had a job
It wasn’t very fancy but it was a few auld bob
They’d put up a great big tent they’d call it a marquee
An we would travel miles out favourite show bands for ta see

Big Tom sang gentle mother he was big round an fat
Dickey Rock sang gorgey  porgey an he was like a lat
Joe Dolan an the Drifters now they played everywhere
An we were all just young lads an we didn’t have a care

Oh I was a teenager in 1968
I had long jaggy hair an the craic it was great
I wore  a flarey trousers an great big platform shoes
An a vietnam war was always in the news

Now teenagers of the 90s no matter what they say
Yer parents  looked up perfect but they were divils in their day
Yer fathers had a mini car no room to court at’all
He often got a better court up again a wall

Yer mother wore a mini skirt miles above her knee
She had inhibitions she was young slim an free
So the next time that ye stay out late an your parents shout at you
Tell em Richie an Johnny tauld you a thing or two

(Richie) Hey Johnny Johnny Johnny Johnny heres the boss heres the engineer

We are two loyal council men to sit down here is not a sin
We sent a lorry for a barrel a tar
It hasn’t came back here so far
Oh keep the kettle boiling keep the lads a smiling

Well we have no tar but we have strong tae
And well have a mug today
Oh keep the kettle boiling keep the lads a smiling

Well we have no tar but we have strong tae
And well have a mug today

(Johnny) Hey lad hey lad will ye have a mug yourself

Ballinspittle

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Well a few years ago we were all heading for Ballinspittle
For ta see the moving statue well I went down ta Ballinspittle
Knelt down an said a few prayers and there was no stir
But I felt the better of going down there
And when I came home I wrote this little song
And it goes something like this

Chorus

Oh one fine day I caught the bus an I went ta Ballinspittle
I looked around says I to myself I think its all a fiddle
But the people prayed an the statue swayed
I swear I saw a vision  what I thought was a cod

Help me find me god below in ballinspittle

So if ye think ye’ve lost here soul an god means nothing to you
Call around to a moving statue now thats the thing for to do
Say your prayers throw away your cares an see the good will do you
Sure its all a cod if ye can’t find god like it did in Ballinspittle

Chorus

Oh one fine day I caught the bus an I went ta Ballinspittle
I looked around says I to myself I think its all a fiddle
But the people prayed an the statue swayed
I swear I saw a vision what I thought was a cod

Help me find me god below in Ballinspittle

Well they came from here an they came from there and they came from everywhere
From Longford Tipperary and the county of Kildare
They came from far across the sea they knelt down there to pray
They felt very much contented before they went away

Chorus

Oh one fine day I caught the bus an I went ta Ballinspittle
I looked around says I to myself I think its all a fiddle
But the people prayed and the statue swayed
I swear I saw a vision what I thought was a cod

Helped me find me god bellow in Ballinspittle

(Richie) Oh there ye are Johnny what kept ye
(Johnny) I was down in Ballinspittle with me mammy
(Richie) Ya were down in Ballinspittle with here mammy.. well?

Well I’ve been to lourdes and I’ve been ta Knock an I’ve been Fatima
I remember Ballinspittle cause i was there with me ma
An she had her little rosary beads she bought em in Drumphea
An she swears she seen something there on that summers day

Chorus

Oh one fine day I caught the bus an I went ta Ballinspittle
I looked around says I to myself I think its all a fiddle
But the people prayed and the statue swayed
I swear I saw a vision  what I thought was a cod

Help me find me god below in ballinspittle

What I thought was a cod  help me find me god below in Ballinspittle
What I thought was a cod  help me find me god below in Ballinspittle

Your Local Radio Station

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

Theres a new sensation all across the nation
Its called your local radio station
They play real good music pop rock n roll
Country irish and a little bit a soul

If your listening to the radio and your feeling kind of sad
Just tune in to the local one and you’ll be oh so glad
There the station of the people as everybody knows
And there listenership in Ireland it grows an grows an grows

Chorus

Theres a new sensation all across the nation
Its called your local radio station
They play real good music pop rock n roll
Country irish and a little bit a soul

Theres news views interviews right throughout the day
You can pick up the phone you can have your say
Sometimes it brings us sadness of the ones thats passed away
But thanks to them we were there upon their funeral day

Chorus

Theres a new sensation all across the nation
Its called your local radio station
They play real good music pop rock n roll
Country irish and a little bit a soul

Theres loads of information anagrams an quizes too
If you have a problem they help ye through
If you have a special song for to request
Ring up your local DJs and they will do there best

Chorus

Theres a new sensation all across the nation
Its called your local radio station
They play real good music pop rock n roll
Country irish and a little bit a soul

Country irish and a little bit a soul
Country irish and a little bit a soul

Every House Had A Fanners

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

Every house had a fanners not so many years ago
Everybody had fanners the fire for to blow
I can still here it rattle when the big wheel you would turn
If ye didn’t have a fanners the green sticks would never burn

Ah when I was just a young lad from school I would come home
And all across the farmers fields I would have ta roam
Gathering sticks and kippenings was my hearts delight
And bringing them home to granny the fire for ta light

Chorus

Every house had a fanners not so many years ago
Everybody had fanners the fire for to blow
I can still here it rattle when the big wheel you would turn
If ye didn’t have a fanners the green sticks would never burn

Aww me mother see rose early just before day light
She’d blow the fanner gently and watch the fire glow bright
The big metal kettle would start singing on the fire
An a great big pot of stir about sure it was our hearts desire

Chorus

Every house had a fanners not so many years ago
Everybody had fanners the fire for to blow
I can still here it rattle when the big wheel you would turn
If ye didn’t have a fanners the green sticks would never burn

Then from her little room granny would arrive
She’d blow the fanners all day long and keep the fire alive
She’d keep the kettle boiling and you’d often hear her say
Sit down there now me good man and well have a mug a tae

Chorus

Every house had a fanners not so many years ago
Everybody had fanners the fire for to blow
I can still here it rattle when the big wheel you would turn
If ye didn’t have a fanners the green sticks would never burn

 

When I came home from Melbourne after all most thirty years
My family met me at the door and there were many tears
Johnny seen me looking were the fanners used ta be
It was then that I remembered sitting there on grannies knee

Chorus

Every house had a fanners not so many years ago
Everybody had fanners the fire for to blow
I can still here it rattle when the big wheel you would turn
If ye didn’t have a fanners the green sticks would never burn

Johnny brought me outside where the dung lock used ta be
But there was lovely roses looking up at me
And there amongst the roses painted oh so bright
Was the faithful dear old fanners sure it was me hearts delight

Chorus

Every house had a fanners not so many years ago
Everybody had fanners the fire for to blow
I can still here it rattle when the big wheel you would turn
If ye didn’t have a fanners the green sticks would never burn

If ye didn’t have a fanners the great sticks would never burn

Horsing Around (the burger song)

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

We bought them auld burgers in the town yesterday
We brought them home an had them for the tae
There was six in a packet the wife ate them all
Since then the auld crater hasn’t been well it’ll

Chorus
She’s been horsing around horsing around
Since we bought them auld burgers inside in the town
Horsing around horsing around
Since we bought them auld burgers inside in the town

Around twelve a clock we both went up to bed
She says them auld burgers are gone to me head
She says ye know Johnny i’ll have ta get more
She jumped out of bed an she ran out the door

Chorus
She’s been horsing around horsing around
Since we bought them auld burgers inside in the town
Horsing around horsing around
Since we bought them auld burgers inside in the town

She ran down the street in her knickers an bra
The young lad said daddy whats wrong with me ma
She ran down the street she was in her bare feet
Be jasus them burgers are full of horse meat

Chorus
She’s been horsing around horsing around
Since we bought them auld burgers inside in the town
Horsing around horsing around
Since we bought them auld burgers inside in the town

The priest came a running an the doctor aswell
The guard in the squad car was driving like hell
The wife full a horse meats first past the post
Says the man in the shop she likes burgers the most

Chorus
She’s been horsing around horsing around
Since we bought them auld burgers inside in the town
Horsing around horsing around
Since we bought them auld burgers inside in the town

(Richie) Were is she now Johnny
(Johnny) She’s gone to Cheltenham  lad

John Joe Yer A Good One

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie) John Joe Nevin what way are ya
(John Joe) I hear ye wrote an auld song about me Richie
(Richie) I did I did I did listen

Chorus
John Joe Nevin yer a good one the man from Mullingar
Even as a young lad people said ye would go far
Ya headed off for london yer spirits were so high
Ya won an olympic medal jaysus John Joe yer some boy

John Joe started boxing at seven years of age
An showed great potential at an early stage
Ya won three Irish titles before he was thirteen
One day he’d box for ireland one day he’d wear the green

(John Joe) good auld song richie

Chorus
John Joe Nevin yer a good one the man from Mullingar
Even as a young lad people said ya would go far
Ya headed off for london yer spirits were so high
Ya won an olympic medal jaysus John Joe yer some boy

Then he moved to cavan were the training did begin
He boxed all over Europe an he started for tae win
The first Irish man to win two world medal fights
An at the age of eighteen Beijing was in his sights

(John Joe) Keep her lit Richie your a good one

Chorus
John Joe Nevin yer a good one the man from Mullingar
Even as a young lad people said ya would go far
Ya headed off for london yer spirits were so high
Ya won an olympic medal jaysus John Joe yer some boy

(JohnJoe) You any good to fight richie
(Richie) I was great for fighting at the marquee dances
(John Joe) Put em up put em up
(Richie) Ah there good one

He won everything was ta be won but still he had a dream
Ta box again for Ireland on the olympic boxing team
John Joe had a dream the dream it did come true
To represent his country win an olympic medal too

Chorus
John Joe Nevin yer a good one the man from Mullingar
Even as a young lad people said ya would go far
Ya headed off for london yer spirits were so high
Yea won an olympic medal jaysus John Joe yer some boy

(John Joe) I’ll do the aul shuffle for ye richie

The Mulllingar shuffle keeps him lively on his feet
When John Joe does the shuffle sure he’s very hard ta beat
John Joe yer a good one good luck now in Brazil
An bring us back a medal as we know ye surely will

(Richie) Yer quare good one the feet John Joe
(John Joe) Your right there

Chorus
John Joe Nevin yer a good one the man from Mullingar
Even as a young lad people said ya would go far
Ya headed off for london yer spirits were so high
Ya won an olympic medal jaysus John Joe yer some boy

(Richie) John Joe are ye any good ta sing
(John Joe) Not to bad I’ll give it a go
(Richie) Here this one we’ll have a go

A ruddily-doddley-dah
A roddeley-doddely-dory-idle-dah
A ruddily-dodely- iddely-dory-idel-doh

(Richie) I think you should keep to the boxing John Joe
(John Joe) I think you should keep to the singing Richie
(Richie) and thats the truth

All Kinds Of Motor Cars

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

I’ve had all kinds a motor cars since I was just a chap
I bought them for small money most of them were scrap
There wasn’t any NCT sit in an drive away
After driving all them yokes I’m lucky to be alive today

First car that I ever bought was a ford 100e
It only had three gears it was a square yoke now ye see
The wipers now they worked on air which was a kinda sloppy
But all an all for sixty pound she was a great jea-loppy

I’ve had all kinds a motor cars since I was just a chap
I bought them for small money most of them were scrap
There wasn’t any NCT sit in an drive away
After driving all them yokes I’m lucky to be alive today

Then I bought a morris a great auld  morris minor
A be the gore a man ye couldn’t get no finer
She only had just one fault above all other makes
Ye never could depend on them morris minor breaks

Chorus
I’ve had all kinds a motor cars since I was just a chap
I bought them for small money most of them were scrap
There wasn’t any NCT sit in an drive away
After driving all them yokes I’m lucky to be alive today

Then I bought a mini an austin mini cooper
She had all the extras and really looked just super
She had a gold seal engine a rare thing now ye know
An would a front wheel drive she was a woful yoke to go

Chorus
I’ve had all kinds a motor cars since I was just a chap
I bought them for small money most of them were scrap
There wasn’t any NCT sit in an drive away
After driving all them yokes I’m lucky to be alive today

The greatest yoke of em all a be the hokey mack
A volkswagon beatle wut an engine in the back
It was the six volt version with pop up indicator
And had an air cooled engine didn’t need no radiator

Chorus
I’ve had all kinds a motor cars since I was just a chap
I bought them for small money most of them were scrap
There wasn’t any NCT sit in an drive away
After driving all them yokes I’m lucky to be alive today

After driving all them yokes I’m lucky to be alive today

Johnny Barry’s Helicopterr

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus
Johnny barry in his helicopter was a lovely sight
Johnny’s in his helicopter nearly every night
He doesn’t go to one show he doesn’t go ta two
When Johnny goes out to a show he’ll always see a few

He flys up to the Hazel to see some singing star
Then down to the Rue Glyn in the copter its not far
Up to the lovely Spring  Hill he’ll fly along the Nore
Then off he’ll fly to somewhere else before they shut the door

Chorus
Johnny barry in his helicopter was a lovely sight
Johnny’s in his helicopter nearly every night
He doesn’t go to one show he doesn’t go ta two
When Johnny goes out to a show he’ll always see a few

The women all like Johnny in the bedroom every night
They just turn on there radio an d snuggle up so tight
He’s playing powerful music all irish old and new
And he’ll find that song before too long especially for you

Chorus
Johnny barry in his helicopter was a lovely sight
Johnny’s in his helicopter nearly every night
He doesn’t go to one show he doesn’t go ta two
When Johnny goes out to a show he’ll always see a few

(Johnny)  Hey mister hey mister can i land here
(Richie)    Mind the fur bush mind the fur bush

Ya’ll see him at the markets and in the record store
He’s always looking for CD’s that he never heard before
So if ye have a little song an you’ve recorded it
Send it in ta Johnny barry an it could end up a hit

Chorus
Johnny barry in his helicopter was a lovely sight
Johnny’s in his helicopter nearly every night
He doesn’t go to one show he doesn’t go ta two
When Johnny goes out to a show he’ll always see a few

(Johnny) There ye go I’m after flying all over the country  I’m over the castle at the moment
And I’ll be home soon for coffee
(Richie)  And thats the truth

Games We Used Ta Play

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus
Oh the games we used to play when I was very small
Ye seldom see anybody playing them now a’tall
There was pitch and toss marbles and we’d play the skittles too
With the hop scotch and the rounders there was always things to do

Ye’d pitch pennies at the moties for ta play the pitch and toss
And the nearest pennie to the stone was the first lad for ta toss
He’d put two pennies on a comb that he used ta comb his hair
Then he’d cry heads or harps as he tossed them in the air

Chorus
Oh the games we used to play when I was very small
Ya seldom see anybody playing them now a’tall
There was pitch and toss marbles and we’d play the skittles too
With the hop scotch and the rounders there was always things to do

Me father made skittles from an auld handle of a spade
He’d saw them nice and neatly and soon he’d have em made
He’d draw a circle on the ground and lay them all about
Put Billy in the middle and wed try and knock him out

Chorus
Oh the games we used to play when I was very small
Ya seldom see anybody playing them now a’tall
There was pitch and toss marbles and we’d play the skittles too
With the hop scotch and the rounders there was always things to do

Ya’d have pockets full of marbles every chap would have the same
Scrape a whole out of the ground and be ready for a game
Ya’d roll your marble at the hole too try an get it in
And if ya clear the last one the whole lot you would win

Chorus
Oh the games we used to play when I was very small
Ya seldom see anybody playing them now a’tall
There was pitch and toss marbles and we’d play the skittles too
With the hop scotch and the rounders there was always things to do
With the hop scotch and the rounders there was always things to do

The Shopping Trolley

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus
About a shopping trolley I thought I’d let ye know
Ya’d try ta push it straight but it never seems ta go
Ya’d wobble through the car park hopping off the cars
Any one would think ya had a few auld jars

You arrive at the shop put your euro in the slot
Its then ya realise the awful trolly that you’ve got
Ya start ta do your shopping but now your in a hobble
Cos every time ya push the trolley starts ta wobble

Chorus
About a shopping trolley I thought I’d let ye know
You’d try ta push it straight but it never seems ta go
You’d wobble through the car park hopping off the cars
Any one would think ya had a few auld jars

Its like being in a dance hall walzeing all about
Ya get so frustrated ya want ta scream and shout
Ya have ta keep on smiling smile shut your mouth
And hope your temper holds til ye get ta checkout

Chorus
About a shopping trolley id thought id let ye know
Ya try ta push it straight but it never seems ta go
Ya wobble through the car park hopping off the cars
Any one would think ya had a few auld jars

A roddily-doddeky-dory-idel-dah
A roddely-doddely-diddely-idddley-dory-idle-doh
A roddley-doddely-dory-idle-dah
A roddely-doddely-diddely-idddley-dory-idle-doh

Hold her Johnny hold her hold her hold her
Mind the eggs mind the eggs don’t hit that car
I’m doing me best lad I’m doing me best
She’ll be giving out when we go home if the eggs are broken
Hold her Johnny the wheel is gone wrong on one side lad hold her hold her hold her

A roddily-doddeky-dory-idel-dah
A roddely-doddely-diddely-idddley-dory-idle-doh
A roddley-doddely-dory-idle-dah
A roddely-doddely-diddely-idddley-dory-idle-doh

A Great Day For The Washing

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus
It’s a great day for the washing just hang them on the line
I hear it on the radio that the weather twill be fine
So get your little pegs and your basket full of clothes
And hang them up upon the lines as the gentle wind it blows

Johnnys little t-shirt and Maggies little dress
Now that granddads passed away theres always one shirt less
Theres grannies knitted pedicoat and her knickers with a patch
And that lovely football jersey we’ll be wanting for the match

Chorus
It’s a great day for the washing just hang them on the line
I hear it on the radio that the weather twill be fine
So get your little pegs and your basket full of clothes
And hang them up upon the line its as the gentle wind it blows

Down behind the shed me sister hangs her wears
She hasn’t got just one knickers she must have a hundred pairs
There’s all kinds of colours pink, yellow,white and blue
And she hangs them up all upside down a quare thing for ta do

Chorus
It’s a great day for the washing just hang them on the line
I hear it on the radio that the weather twill be fine
So get your little pegs and your basket full of clothes
And hang them up upon the line as the  gentle wind it blows

Run out run out theres a shower coming

Daddy has just one shirt that he wears ta Sunday mass
Mammy got it in the sales no bargains can she pass
Mammy has a lovely dress she bought in Bagenalstown
And myself cos I’m the smallest i get all the hand me downs

Chorus
It’s a great day for the washing just hang them on the line
I hear it on the radio that the weather twill be fine
So get your little pegs and your basket full of clothes
And hang them up upon the line as the gentle wind it blows

Not gonna rain at’all lad it twas only jackdaws on the roof
Jackdaws thats all jackdaws

”Pulling Their Wire ”(The ESB Men 1955)

”This is a song dedicated to the ESB men of 1955”

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

They were pulling their wire higher and higher
Higher and higher everyday
They were putting their poles into all kinds of holes
Up and down the byway

Chorus
They were pulling their wire pulling it higher
Pulling their wire all the day
They were putting their poles into all kinds a holes
Up and down the byway

Well me mammy she says she says now to me
Your daddy he worked on the ESB
Me mammy she says she says now ya see
Thats how your daddy met me

Chorus
They were pulling their wire pulling it higher
Pulling their wire all the day
They were putting their poles into all kinds a holes
Up and down the byway

Well me daddy he says he says now to me
Sonny I worked on the ESB
Me daddy he says he says now ya see
Thats how your mammy met me

Chorus
They were pulling their wire pulling it higher
Pulling their wire all the day
They were putting their poles into all kinds a holes
Up and down the byway

Well ta finish me song they were courting to strong
Courting to strong now ya see
Well it wasn’t to long till something went wrong
That’s how me mammy had me

Chorus
They were pulling their wire pulling it higher
Pulling their wire all the day
They were putting their poles into all kinds a holes
Up and down the byway

Chorus
They were pulling their wire pulling it higher
Pulling their wire all the day
They were putting their poles into all kinds a holes
Up and down the byway

Chorus
They were pulling their wire pulling it higher
Pulling their wire all the day
They were putting their poles into all kinds  holes
Up and down the byway
Up and down the byway

The Rural Electrification Scheme began across the country 70 years ago

Gangs of men would stay in one area for weeks and months at a time

It led to new relationships and even marriages taking place

The local clergy who acted with haste to stamp out temptation of the flesh

Ordered an ESB boss to take a dark handsome young worker out of the parish

As he had become a danger to the ladies- both married and single.

 

A Lovely Great Big Field A Beet

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus
Oh never again will we see it
A lovely great big field a beet
It was there for so long but now it is gone
And never again will we see it

The field would be ploughed and well tilled
By the farmer who was very skilled
He’d open up drills so straight and so neat
Twas all part of sowing the auld sugar beet

Chorus
Oh never again will we see it
A lovely great big field a beet
It was there for so long but now it is gone
And never again will we see it

As chaps we’d go tinning the beet
With the lovely soft clay on our feet
A half crown for a drill eight drills was a pound
A whole lotta chaps creeping there on the ground

Chorus
Oh never again will we see it
A lovely great big field a beet
It was there for so long but now it is gone
And never again will we see it

In the auld days they pulled it by hand
Most people they worked on the land
They’d pull it and crown it draw it out to the road
Then send for a lorry when they’d have a full load

Chorus
Oh never again will we see it
A lovely great big field a beet
It was there for so long but now it is gone
And never again will we see it

The Undertaker

 

Chorus
The undertaker is the nicest man here in the town
Cos he’d be the last man for ta let ya down
He wears a black suit and he has a sad face
And the prices he charges they are a disgrace

He has a grand parlor at the end of the pub
While your lying in there he’ll sell porter and grub
He’s out ta make money from the minute you die
A decent auld crater but he’s awful sly

Chorus
The undertaker is the nicest man here in the town
Cos he’d be the last man for ta let ya down
He wears a black suit and he has a sad face
And the prices he charges they are a disgrace

His coffins all varnished he says there the best
Underneath all that varnish there just a tae chest
He’ll sell ye a coffin theres no guarantee
Under six foot of clay no one every will see

Chorus
The undertaker is the nicest man here in the town
Cos he’d be the last man for ta let ya down
He wears a black suit and he has a sad face
And the prices he charges they are a disgrace

He has a grand parlor at the end of the pub
While your lying in there he’ll sell porter and grub
He’s out ta make money from the minute you die
A decent auld crater but he’s awful sly

Chorus
The undertaker is the nicest man here in the town
Cos he’d be the last man for ta let ya down
He wears a black suit and he has a sad face
And the prices he charges they are a disgrace

He’s a cute hoare
And the prices he charges they are a disgrace

The Auld Stepping Stones

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus
The auld stepping stones they were layed out so neat
Straight cross the river so you don’t wet your feet
They were put there by auld lads so long long ago
All kinds of stones layed out in a row

First time I saw them I was very small
Me legs wouldn’t reach across the stones now at all
Me daddy had long legs with me on his back
He’d fly cross the stones cos he had the knack

Chorus
The auld stepping stones they were layed out so neat
Straight cross the river so you don’t wet your feet
They were put there by auld lads so long long ago
All kinds of stones layed out in a row

Soon I was stepping and hopping across
Avoiding to slip upon the wet moss
If ye stepped on the moss on the stones as ye pass
Ye’d land in the river down on your ass

Chorus
The auld stepping stones they were layed out so neat
Straight cross the river so you don’t wet your feet
They were put there by auld lads so long long ago
All kinds of stones layed out in a row

Now that I’m older across them I hobble
Half ways across some times I do wobble
The stones they are sturdy and the day it is long
If I steady meself I can’t do no wrong

Chorus
The auld stepping stones they were layed out so neat
Straight cross the river so you don’t wet your feet
They were put there by auld lads so long long ago
All kinds of stones layed out in a row

Baling Baling Twine

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Theres all kinds of inventions and some of them are fine
But the greatest yoke of all is a bit of baling twine
Ye can tie up your boots when ye have no laces
Twill hauld up your trousers when ye haven’t got no braces

Chorus
Oh baling baling baling baling baling twine
They used ta call it binder twine in me fathers time
Baling baling baling baling baling twine
Sure the bit of baling twine i use it all the time

You can tie it round the garden gate for to keep the childer in
Tie it round the rubbish bag if ye haven’t got a bin
It will help ye mend the clothes line if the line does ever break
Ye can wrap it round a little tree to tie it to a stake

Chorus
Oh baling baling baling baling baling twine
They used ta call it binder twine in me fathers time
Baling baling baling baling baling twine
Sure the bit of baling twine i use it all the time

Theres all kinds of inventions and some of them are fine
But the greatest yoke of all is a bit of baling twine
Ye can tie up your boots when ye have no laces
Twill hauld up your trousers when ye haven’t got no braces

Chorus
Oh baling baling baling baling baling twine
They used ta call it binder twine in me fathers time
Baling baling baling baling baling twine
Sure the bit of baling twine i use it all the time

Up On Ballon Hill

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus
If your ever down in Ballon they talk about it still
About the dancing board that was up on ballon hill
People came from miles around they came from near and far
Most of them on bicycles they didnt have a car

Early sunday morning the road race would begin
Lads ran along the gravel road there wasn’t much tar then
They ran around the parish for six miles or more
Arriving in the sports field to a tremendous roar

Chorus
If your ever down in Ballon they talk about it still
About the dancing board that was up on ballon hill
People came from miles around they came from near and far
Most of them on bicycles they didnt have a car

At the bultry in the village the bike race would begin
Lads there upon their bicycles great big strapping men
A ballon man upon a bike was very hard ta pass
Especially in the sports field were they raced upon the grass

Chorus
If your ever down in Ballon they talk about it still
About the dancing board that was up on ballon hill
People came from miles around they came from near and far
Most of them on bicycles they didnt have a car

Johnny Keegan was the greatest dancer of them all
He used ta dance at concerts inside the parish hall
Thank god we have auld film of him dancing in the yard
People always say he was a quare nice auld card

Chorus
If your ever down in Ballon they talk about it still
About the dancing board that was up on ballon hill
People came from miles around they came from near and far
Most of them on bicycles they didnt have a car
Most of them on bicycles they didn’t have a car

From The Top Of Mount Leinster

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

When I was a chap I remember it still
Going to school through the fields around Garryhill
Auld lads at the cross roads such stories they’d tell
And me drawing water in a bucket from the well

Chorus
From the top of Mount Leinster to the valley below
Where the Burren, the Barrow and Slaney does flow
Theres Dolmens, Castles, Moats and Blessed Wells
Where history folklore and heritage dwells

We’d fish in the river we’d be in our bare feet
Then to make a few bob we’d go tinning the beet
Potatoes we’d pick for ten shillings a day
Then gather black berries along the byway

Chorus
From the top of Mount Leinster to the valley below
Where the Burren, the Barrow and Slaney does flow
Theres Dolmens, Castles, Moats and Blessed Wells
Where history folklore and heritage dwells

At the ditch in the field we’d catch rabbits in snares
Then with the half hound we’d go hunting for hares
A lifetime of dreams in a valley so neat
A small peace a heaven right under our feet

Chorus
From the top of Mount Leinster to the valley below
Where the Burren, the Barrow and Slaney does flow
Theres Dolmens, Castles, Moats and Blessed Wells
Where history folklore and heritage dwells
Them Great Chevy Sheep

 

‘’Will Ya Have A Mug A Tae’’

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie) If you you ever go to Ireland, ya’ll always hear em say 
Your welcome sit down, an we’ll have a mug a tae 
I’ve just put on the kettle, it’s all most on the boil

(Johnny) ‘’Oh I won’t have tae now I’ll have it in a little while’’

(Richie) Ah go on now Johny, y’all have a  mug a tea
 

(Johnny)‘’God almighty no, I’ve been drinking tae all day’’

(Richie) Go on now Johnny, go on, go on,go on.
Go on now Johnny, y’all have a  mug a tae

First ya boil the kettle, then you wet the tae
Let it draw a little while,me granny use ta say
How-uld the tae pot steady,when you pour it out 
Or y’all get a great big dribble, dribbling down along the spout 

Chorus
Me Daughter in Australia, Me son in America
I don’t know what they’ed do, if the had’ent Barrys tae  
Sure I work on the council, an I like’s a mug a tae
I don’t be all that busy,so it helps me pass the day
Spoken
So if ya come to Ireland, up on a holiday 
Y’all get a thousand welcomes, an a great big mug a tae
They’ll ask ya load’s a questions, who you are, and where yer from 
When did ya come over here, are ya staying very long 

Tag…… 
Go on now Johnny, go on, go on,go on.
Go on now Johnny, y’all have a  mug a tae

Them Great Chevy Sheep

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

Over the hill with my sheepdog
Over the hills to wicklow
Over its hills and it valleys
The home of that great cheviot ewe
Jim Norton told me about them
His known them since he was a boy
He’d talk there about them for hours
They are his pride and his joy

(Johnny) I knows a woman from wicklow
(Richie) Have she sheep Johnny
(Richie) She has horrid good ones lad

There’re rared on the highlands of Ireland
A hardy strong white mountain sheep
The farmers who live on the mountains
A few chevy sheep they do keep

You’ll see them all over Mount Leintser
Near Borris, Kiltealy, Myshall
You’ll see them in Roundwood in Aughrim
And all over the Glen of a Mall

Chorus

Over the hill with my sheepdog
Over the hills to wicklow
Over its hills and it valleys
The home of that great cheviot ewe
Jim Norton told me about them
His known them since he was a boy
He’d talk there about them for hours
They are his pride and his joy

Three years they spend on the mountain
From the time that they were a lamb
Then there sold down to the lowlands
And bred with a big suffolk ram

The chevy she yanes in the spring time
A lamb with a grand speckled face
If your looking hardy strong chevys
blessington surely the place

Chorus

Over the hill with my sheepdog
Over the hills to wicklow
Over its hills and it valleys
The home of that great cheviot ewe
Jim Norton told me about them
His known them since he was a boy
He’d talk there about them for hours
They are his pride and his joy

He’d talk there about them for hours
They are his pride and his joy

So Hard To Be Hungry

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie) Well Johnny how is the diet going )

(Johnny) Ah bad lad bad

Chorus

Oh lord its so hard to be hungry
But I’ll stay on the diet anyway
I can’t bare to step on the weighing scales
I get pounds heavier each day                                                                                                                                      

To know me is to feed me                                                          
I’m surely a great big fat man
Oh lord its so hard to be hungry
But I’m doing the best that I can

I can’t bare to pass by the chippers
The ice-cream mans my best friend
Those tasty instant dinners
They surely are a gods send

Those lovely giant bars of chocolate
And washing them all down with coke
Its alright for his all to be talking
I dont drag on a fag for a smoke

Chorus

Oh lord its so hard to be hungry
But i’ll stay on the diet anyway
I can’t bare to step on the weighing scales
I get pounds heavier each day                                                                                                                                      

To know me is to feed me
I’m surely a great big fat man
Oh lord its so hard to be hungry
But I’m doing the best that I can

Hey Johnny how is the wife

Me wife she is so fat
And me wife she is so wide
But she has a lovely new corset
For to pull in her backside

She goes off with the big crowd of women
She says that she’s going to lose weight
I think that she’s off galavanting
An excuse for staying out late

Chorus

Oh lord its so hard to be hungry
But I’ll stay on the diet anyway
I can’t bare to step on the weighing scales
I get pounds heavier each day                                                                                                                                      

To know me is to feed me
I’m surely a great big fat man
Oh lord its so hard to be hungry
But I’m doing the best that I can

Last week I went into the drapers
Says i want a great big coat
He says I have nothing to fit ye
Your gone into an awful aul float

Why don’t ye give up all this eating
And get down to a normal wee size
I know what your saying sounds easy
And know that it is very wise

Chorus

Oh lord its so hard to be hungry
But I’ll stay on the diet anyway
I can’t bare to step on the weighing scales
I get pounds heavier each day

To know me is to feed me
I’m surely a great big fat man
Oh lord its so hard to be hungry
But I’m doing the best that I can

Oh were doing the best that we can

                                                                                                                                              

( Johnny) I’m not

Me Little Volkswagon

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

I was driving along in me little volkswagon
The wifes tongue wouldn’t stop waging
I wasn’t going hard nor I wasn’t going easy
Ya know now the wife she was driving me crazy

When I got a few pints the night before
And me head now ya know it was awful sore
Didn’t know a word that the wife she was saying
Cos my head it was lifting with the pain

Chorus

I was driving along in me little volkswagon
The wifes tongue wouldn’t stop waging
I wasn’t going hard nor I wasn’t going easy
Ya know now the wife she was driving me crazy

I was going to the town for ta get the auld cure
Couldn’t wait for ta see the auld pub door
When the little volkswagon got stuck in gear
The first time she broke down in thirty year

Chorus

I was driving along in me little volkswagon
The wifes tongue wouldn’t stop waging
I wasn’t going hard nor I wasn’t going easy
Ye know now the wife she was driving me crazy

The mechanics hammer went tip -a-de-tap
Then the volkswagon engine went rap-ed–rap
Oh the wifes big mouth it went yap-ed-yap
Such a pain in me head I took off me cap

Chorus

I was driving along in me little volkswagon
The wifes tongue wouldn’t stop waging
I wasn’t going hard nor I wasn’t going easy
Ye know now the wife she was driving me crazy

Got the volkswagon fixed and got to the town
Got the auld cure and let it down
The wife said now we better be going
But I drank a lot more and got a taxi home

Chorus

I was driving along in me little volkswagon
The wifes tongue wouldn’t stop waging
I wasn’t going hard nor I wasn’t going easy
Ye know now the wife she was driving me crazy

And ye wouldn’t believe lads her name it was masie

Her Name Is Nancy

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie) Now your man is going ta sing a song about a woman he met at a marquee one night

Chorus

Oh the girl that I love her name is Nancy
She’s small and she’s neat she’s the girl I do fancy
I met her one night while out marquee dancing
I knew she was nice all the lads they were glancing

Well I asked her her name as we danced round the floor
I knew by her eye we’d soon head for the door
I asked her the next dance she gave it to me
By the end of the night in my arms she would be

Chorus

Oh the girl that I love her name is Nancy
She’s small and she’s neat she’s the girl I do fancy
I met her one night while out marquee dancing
I knew she was nice all the lads they were glancing

Well she lived up a byroad by the side of the mountain
And my love for her it flowed like a fountain
I kissed her that night by the end of the house
Then she took off her shoes and crept in like a mouse

Chorus

Oh the girl that I love her name is Nancy
She’s small and she’s neat she’s the girl I do fancy
I met her one night while out marquee dancing
I knew she was nice all the lads they were glancing

After six months I did purpose
Her father got vexed and bursted me nose
Her mother she liked me she said twas alright
Then Nancys eyes opened wide with delight

(Johnny)  Your a good one lad your a good one

Chorus

Oh the girl that I love her name is Nancy
She’s small and she’s neat she’s the girl I do fancy
I met her one night while out marquee dancing Chorus
I knew she was nice all the lads they were glancing

For twenty five years now we’ve been together
In good times in bad times through all kinds of weather
She gave me four big sons there so good ya see
And a daughter god help her she’s the image of me

Chorus

Oh the girl that I love her name is Nancy
She’s small and she’s neat she’s the girl I do fancy
I met her one night while out marquee dancing
I knew she was nice all the lads they were glancing

Oh I knew she was nice all the lads they were glancing

No More Beer           

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

( Richie) Aye Johnny will we go for a point
(Johnny) Ya sure we’ll get one between us lad

Chorus

Oh the drink laws in Ireland they are so severe
Your only allowed three quarters a beer
If the man at the counter sells you a full pint
If ye drink it all down ya can’t drive home tonight

So severe so severe no more beer no more beer
Pubs all up for sale by the end of the year

Well I drank down a full pint last saturday night
I said I’d drive home sure I was feeling alright
The guard he was pulling and he pulled me in
Blow into this bag now says he with a grin

Chorus

Oh the drink laws in Ireland they are so severe
Your only allowed three quarters a beer
If the man at the counter sells you a full pint
If ye drink it all down ye can’t drive home tonight

So severe so severe no more beer no more beer
Pubs all up for sale by the end of the year

Well I blew in the bag and the guard looked at it
He says your over the limit be a small little bit
If I done me duty suspended ye’d be
Let this be a warning and i’ll let ye go free

Chorus

Oh the drink laws in Ireland they are so severe
Your only allowed three quarters a beer
If the man at the counter sells you a full pint
If ya drink it all down ya can’t drive home tonight

So severe so severe no more beer no more beer
Pubs all up for sale by the end of the year

Well me wife she’s from mayo she’s a grand little doll
And the great thing about her she drinks no alcohol
So the next time I go for a night on the beer
I let her do the driving and theres nothing ta fear

Chorus

Oh the drink laws in ireland they are so severe
Your only allowed three quarters a beer
If the man at the counter sells you a full pint
If ye drink it all down ye can’t drive home tonight

So severe so servere no more beer no more beer
Pubs all up for sale by the end of the year

So severe so servere no more beer no more beer
Pubs all up for sale by the end of the year

Don’t drink down that full point of beer now ye hear

Thats the truth

Goin’ To Be A Wedding

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

(Johnny) Ah lad did ye enjoy the wedding

It was a day in may twas a fine day
Theres going ta be a wedding I hear them say
So we hit the church without delay
And that was the start of a great auld day

In steps the groom his brother too
They step up there to the very first pew
He hopes that she’ll be here by two
Oh he hopes that she’ll be here by two

It was a day in may twas a fine day
Theres going ta be a wedding I hear them say
So we hit the church without delay
And that was the start of a great auld day

Theres a car outside I think its the bride
She’s walking up the isle with her daddy at her side
And the grooms eyes they opened so wide
And the grooms eyes they opened so wide

It was a day in may twas a fine day
Theres going ta be a wedding I hear them say
So we hit the church without delay
And that was the start of a great auld day

Well the organist sings and the wedding begins
It isn’t very long till they have the two rings
Gold and silver and all them things
Gold and silver and all them things

It was a day in may twas a fine day
Theres going ta be a wedding I hear them say
So we hit the church without delay
And that was the start of a great auld  day

Well the time it comes for ta sign the book
The priest and us all we wish ye luck
We’re glad that the hotel is booked
Oh we’re glad that the hotel is booked

It was a day in may twas a fine day
Theres going ta be a wedding I hear them say
So we hit the church without delay
And that was the start of a great auld day

Well they cut the cake and the speeches make
The bride and the groom there looking great
Was a grand lump of turkey on me plate
Twas a grand lump of turkey on me plate

It was a day in may twas a fine day
Theres going ta be a wedding I hear them say
So we hit the church without delay
And that was the start of a great auld day

Well the band starts playing oh so loud
The bride and the groom they look so proud
As they dance around there through the crowd
As they dance around there through the crowd

It was a day in may twas a fine day
Theres going ta be a wedding I hear them say
So we hit the church without delay
And that was the start of a great auld day

Well the end of the day sure it comes to soon
Now your both going upon your honeymoon
We hope to see ye both very soon
Tura- lura-ladi-oh
We hope ye have a nice honeymoon
Tura- lura-ladi-oh 
We hope ye have a little baby soon
A row-dow-da- a-didley idle doe

(Johnny) Lie on her head

Declan Nerney Is Your Man

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

If ye want ta go a dancing Declan Nerney is your man
He’ll have ye hopping like a herring on a frying pan
He plays real good music pop, rock and roll
Country and irish and a little bit of soul

He got his inspiration in the marquee in drumlish
While looking at this show bands was then he made a wish
I’m going ta be a singer in a country band
And i’m going ta play in every town all over Ireland

Chorus

If ya want ta go a dancing Declan Nerney is your man
He’ll have ye hoping like a herring on a frying pan
He plays real good music pop, rock and roll
Country and irish and a little bit of soul

He bought his first guitar inside in longford town
And the long hours he spent practising has never let him down
Soon he was a playing with the bet bands in the land
He imitated nobody his voice it was so grand

Chorus

If ya want ta go a dancing Declan Nerney is your man
He’ll have ye hoping like a herring on a frying pan
He plays real good music pop, rock and roll
Country and irish and a little bit of soul

Very soon he formed a band he said he’d have a go
Soon he was recording and was on the radio
The crowds they followed Declan everywhere he went
He really got that wish he made inside that marquee tent

Chorus

If ya want ta go a dancing Declan Nerney is your man
He’ll have ye hoping like a herring on a frying pan
He plays real good music pop, rock and roll
Country and irish and a little bit of soul

Outside For A Fag

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

No smoking now inside the pub no smoking now at’all
Ya have ta smoke outside in the shed beside a wall
Me wife she went outside she was dieing for a fag
Outside she met a fella and instead she had a shag

Chorus
Oh hokey smokey pokey smokey if ya can
Smokey smokey smokey the auld smokey ban
Oh hokey smokey pokey smokey now no more
Smokey smokey smokey, smoke outside the door

The great thing now about it is the clean air for a start
Ya don’t have ta go outside if ye want ta let a-fart??
No ashtrays on the counter no buts upon the floor
No fog a smoke ta meet ye when ye walk inside the door

Chorus
Oh hokey smokey pokey smokey if ya can
Smokey smokey smokey the auld smokey ban
Oh hokey smokey pokey smokey now no more
Smokey smokey smokey smoke outside the door

So be careful of your girlfriend when she goes outside the door
She might meet someone outside and come back to you no more
Be careful of your girlfriend when she goes out for a fag
She could end up like my wife and maybe have a shag

Chorus
Oh hokey smokey pokey smokey if ya can
Smokey smokey smokey the auld smokey ban
Oh hokey smokey pokey smokey now no more
Smokey smokey smokey smoke outside the door

(Richie) Johnny did you give up the fags??

(Johnny) No I started smoking more cos theres more girls outside than there is inside in the pub

(Richie) Your coding, more outside be the lord bless us and save us

Chorus
Oh hokey smokey pokey smokey if ya can
Smokey smokey smokey the auld smokey ban
Oh hokey smokey pokey smokey now no more
Smokey smokey smokey smoke outside the door

(Richie) Are ya going out for an auld fag Johnny

(Johnny) Ya I’m going out ye wouldn’t know what’d happen its great auld craic outside lad

 (Richie) Thats the truth

(Richie) Stay wut her Johnny stay out her your a good one

(Johnny) Thats right 

Be The Holy, Says Foley

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

There talking in Rahanna, in Myshall and Fenagh
About High Nelly’s Pub that opened up the other day
Its in a place called Milltown better known as Garryhill
And you are very welcome there and you can drink your fill

Chorus
Well be the holy says Foley I’m the man that will
Bring whiskey, beer and porter to the boys in Garryhill
Well be the holy says foley ya know now what ta do
If your driving drink one never drink the two

Its there you’ll find the locals the boys from Knockindrain,
From Ballinakill and up the hill do ye know what they do be saying
Tommy Hogan brought us ice creams Stephen Murphy brought us gas
Now we have a public house on the road from Drumphea mass

Chorus
Well be the holy says Foley I’m the man that will
Bring whiskey, beer and porter to the boys in Garryhill
Well be the holy says foley ye know now what ta do
If your driving drink one never drink the two

(Richie) Johnny I’m looking for directions to Foley Pub?

(Johnny) What

(Richie) How would you go ta Foley Pub

(Johnny) I’d go with me brother in the car

(Richie) No I mean whats the quickest way

(Johnny) Are ye driving or are ya walking

(Richie) I’m driving

(JohnnyThats the quickest way lad thats the quickest way

Ye’ll get the best of beer in a bottle or a can
If ye want a pint pulled foley is your man
Sally Dorans nelly bike is hanging up there on the wall
Its the only sure ride you’ll get in foley pub it’ll

Chorus
Well be he holy says Foley I’m the man that will
Bring whiskey, beer and porter to the boys in Garryhill
Be the holy says foley ye know now what ta do
If your driving drink one never drink the two

Pears, Bananas And Chocolates

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus
Oh pears, bananas and chocolates a god ripe fruit
The women down in Moore street are so very cute
Pears, bananas an chocolates you’ll always hear them cry
Keep your hands off the apples if your not going ta buy

Oh the women down in Moore street always wears a grin
With their little head scarf tied underneath their chin
Great big juicy oranges a euro now for ten
And a bunch of bananas for the same again

Chorus
Oh pears, bananas and chocolates a good ripe fruit
The women down in Moore street are so very cute
Pears, bananas an chocolates you’ll always hear them cry
Keep your hands off the apples if your not going ta buy

All throughout the winter standing in the cold
Till most of what they got everything is sold
In summer its grand a selling in the sun
All throughout the year there always full of fun

Chorus
Oh pears, bananas and chocolates a good ripe fruit
The women down in Moore street are so very cute
Pears, bananas an chocolates you’ll always hear them cry
Keep your hands off the apples if your not going ta buy

”Spoken”
Pears, bananas and chocolates a god ripe fruit
Keep your hands off the apples if your not buying em
Pears two for ten for the pears the last pears now two for ten
Keep your hands off the apples go away now ya cur ya

Chorus

Oh pears, bananas and chocolates a good ripe fruit
The women down in Moore street are so very cute
Pears, bananas an chocolates you’ll always hear them cry
Keep your hands off the apples if your not going ta buy

The women down in moore street always wears a grin
With their little head scarf tied underneath their chin
Great big juicy oranges a euro now for ten
And a bunch of bananas for the same again

Chorus
Oh pears, bananas and chocolates a good ripe fruit
The women down in Moore street are so very cute
Pears, bananas an chocolates you’ll always hear them cry
Keep your hands off the apples if your not going ta buy

”Spoken”

Pears, bananas and chocolates good ripe fruit
Keep your hands off the apples if your not buying em

Lovely juicy melons

Did ye ever see melons like that sir? 

Oh jayus christ

Jingle Jangle Ding A Ling

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus
Oh jingle jangle ding a ling
Jingle jangle ding a ling
I heard Santys sleigh bells ring
Jingle jangle ding a ling

Oh Santy ate me cream and tart
Then up the chimney he did start
Half ways up he let a fart
And blew the chimney breast apart

We all got an awful fright
Such a bang on a christmas night
Santy he ran out the door
And all the toys fell on the floor

I never seen so many toys
Some for girls and some for boys
Santys such a jolly man
He always brings us what he can

Chorus
Oh jingle jangle ding a ling
Jingle jangle ding a ling
I heard Santys sleigh bells ring
Jingle jangle ding a ling

Oh Santy ate me cream and tart
Then up the chimney he did start
Half ways up he let a fart
And blew the chimney breast apart

I never seen so many toys
Some for girls and some for boys
Santys such a jolly man
He always brings us what he can

I ran outside to see his sleigh
Like a flash he was away
The bells upon his sleight did ring
Jingle jangle ding a ling

Chorus
Oh jingle jangle ding a ling
Jingle jangle ding a ling
I heard santys sleigh bells ring
Jingle jangle ding a ling

Oh Santy ate me cream and tart
Then up the chimney he did start
Half ways up he let a fart
And blew the chimney breast apart

We all got an awful fright
Such a bang on a christmas night
Santy he ran out the door
And all the toys fell on the floor

Chorus
Oh jingle jangle ding a ling
Jingle jangle ding a ling
I heard santys sleigh bells ring
Jingle jangle ding a ling

The Lanz Bulldog Tractor

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus
Johnny Fagan had a tractor when I was very small
A Lanz Bulldog tractor the grandest yoke of all
It was a lovely shade of blue and stylish all around
With a little two stroke engine sure it had a unique sound

He bought it down in Ferns in 1953
With  a little active combine sure it was a site to see
He’d cut all the corn and tie the bags with twine
With a little lanz tractor and an active green combine

Chorus
Johnny Fagan had a tractor when I was very small
A lanz bulldog tractor the grandest yoke of all
It was a lovely shade of blue and stylish all around
With a little two stroke engine sure it had a unique sound

I used ta love ta see the Lanz coming in the gate
I’d jump up on the mudguard and sit down on the sate
Its there now I did sit many was the day
As Johnny Fagan ploughed the field or turned the rows of hay

Chorus
Johnny Fagan had a tractor when I was very small
A lanz bulldog tractor the grandest yoke of all
It was a lovely shade of blue and stylish all around
With a little two stroke engine sure it had a unique sound

Well tractors come and tractors go one day the lanz was gone
And there inside the farm yard was great big orange one
It was bran new Nuffield that I never liked at’all
Is the Lanz thats in my memory still since I was very small

Chorus
Johnny Fagan had a tractor when I was very small
A lanz bulldog tractor the grandest yoke of all
It was a lovely shade of blue and stylish all around
With a little two stroke engine sure it had a unique sound

(Rich) Isn’t that right Johnny

(Johnny) Ya thats right thats the truth
A one cylinder two stroke engine lad
Listen listen great yoke