Song Lyrics

All songs written by Richie.

”Craic, Humour and Song”

Celebrating the humor heritage and nostalgia of Ireland in song.

”Aon Focal Eile”

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

When I was just a little lad I used to go to school
I’d sit down there in the seat, feeling like a fool
The teacher taught us everything, everything we know
She had a great big lump of a stick that was bent into a bow

CHORUS:
She’d go “Aon focal, da focal, two focal eile,
And I not knowing no focal at all
She’d go “Aon focal, da focal, two focal eile
And I not knowing no focal at all

She taught us how to say all our A.B.C.s
She showed us how to make little men out a plasticine
She taught us how to say our prayers, she toult us right from wrong
The only thing about it, we didn’t go to school too long

Chorus

She taught about the history, the Battle of the Boyne
And how to play a game with a chestnut on a twine
She says “Open up your catechism, learn of that information
If you don’t get it in, to your big thick head, you won’t get your conformation

Chorus

Well, the days we spent going to school, were the best years of our life
Tho’ at the time we thought they were full of trouble and strife
Now when I’m home on holiday, I pass the old school gate
I think a the time I spent in there, them times the surely were great

Chorus
She’d go “Aon focal, da focal ,two focal eile,
And I not knowing no focal at all
She’d go “Aon focal, da focal, two focal eile
And I not knowing no focal at all
Feiceann me,,, Feiceann tu,,,
Thats The Truth says I ta you
She’d go “Aon focal, da focal, two focal eile
And I not knowing no focal at all
And we not knowing no focal at all.

”The Mobile Phone”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus
Oh my girlfriend has a mobile phone
Now we can never have a minute alone
The other night I asked her for a kiss
She said hang on now till I answer this.

Oh this mobile phone it is a curse
An it makes a awful hole in her purse
Would her mobile phone she gets such a trill
But her smile disappears when she gets the bill

Chorus

On sunday it rang in the middle of mass
An all the children though it was great gas
Some people though it was the Angelus
But the priest on the alter was furious

Chorus
Last week I was courting her in me car
An she was letting me go to far
The next thing her mobile phone did ring
Just as I was about to put me hand on her …..

Chorus
If your looking for a girlfriend now ya see
My advise to you would be
If the girl that ya fancy has a mobile phone
Don’t bodder about her just leave her alone

Chorus
Spoken..

[Richie] ….. “Hello is that Fenagh double two double two”
[Johnnie] … “No, this Fenagh 22 22”

[Richie] ….. “Ah, Im sorry for getting you out a the bed”
[Johnnie] … “Ah sure I had to come down to answer the phone anyway”

”Chicken Talk”

lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

[Richie] … Johnny.

[Johnny] …. ya,

Richie][ ….When was the first time you heard a naughty word.

First time I heard a naughty word, was when I was a child.
I heard it from the chickens, me granny she went wild.
Me granny says now Johnny, the chickens they don’t curse.
Be gore says I to granny, twas the chicken said it first.

CHORUS

Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off
Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off
now this is chicken talk
Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off
This is what they say,
When the chickens they do lay.
Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off
Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off.

Then up the yard me granny came and let an awful shout.
She says to me now Johnny, shut that f’en chickens mouth.
I ran the chicken up the yard, across and all around.
And yet the bleddy chicken wouldn’t stop that f’en sound.

CHORUS

Then granny started cursing ,but the chicken said it first.
The more that granny shouted, the more the chicken cursed.
Granny said I never seen the like in all my life.
I never had a chicken that caused so much strife,

CHORUS

So lets all sing along.
lets sing the chicken song.
Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off
Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off
Quack quack quack quack ,went the duck.
But the chicken still said fock.
Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off
Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off
Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off
Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock of

now this is chicken talk
Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off
This is what they say,
When the chickens they do lay.
Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off
Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off

‘’How Elvis Became A Carlow Man’’

lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

William Presley came from Hacketstown, at the foot of Eagle Hill
The stones from his house, ya’ll see them in the fields there still
I’ll tell you now the story, so listen if you can
And I will tell how, Elvis became a Carlow man

His ancestor was William, Presley now ya see
And from his native Hacketstown, this man was forced to flee
He sailed for america, across the raging sea
Arriving in New Orleans, then on to Tennessee

William great grand daughter, her name it was Rosella
She had a son called Jesse, he was a grand young fella
In nineteen thirteen, Jesse married Minnie Mae
And their son Vernon, brings us right to the present day

Then Vernon married Gladys Smith, in nineteen thirty three
The never realised their son, how famous he would be
The greatest rock and roller, Sure Elvis was the king
That little bit of Irish, maybe helped him for to sing

”Stay Wut Her Johnny”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny
Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

I am a rally driver on the circuit for years
I’m a woefull man now for jammin gears
I rev’s her on the corners , flat out on the straight
A be the gore a man boys the craic it is great

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

The car that i drive is an auld escort,
I bought it in galway in the town of gort
Brought her home and i stripped her down
Now she’s one of the greatest auld cars around

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

i am a rally driver on the circuit for years
I’m a woefull man now for jammin gears
You should see me doin a handbrake turn
I’m the man to make the tyres burn

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny
Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

I dove like i never did drive before
I had my foot flat on the floor,
I’m going quare well in the rally so far
Three seconds behind the leading car

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

Richie is always the pace notes man,
Shouting them out as loud as he can,
Over a crest doing a hundred an ten
A flat three left then a crest again!!

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

i am a rally driver on the circuit for years
I’m a woefull man now for jammin gears
You should see me doin a handbrake turn
I’m the man to make the tyres burn

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny
Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

Spoken …
(Richie) Stay wut ‘er johnny

(Johnny) ”Thats right thats the truth” ”Drive Her Straight Sideways”

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

Losing power twas making me nervous
So I headed on back now for the services
Down along the bog road now I was tipping
Then the bleady auld clutch it started slipping

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

i am a rally driver on the circuit for years
I’m a woefull man now for jammin gears
You should see me doin a handbrake turn
I’m the man to make the tyres burn

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

Oh i am a rally driver on the circuit for years
I’m a woefull man now for jammin gears
You should see me doin a handbrake turn
I’m the man to make the tyres burn

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny
Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

”My Wife Johnny’s Morris Minor”

lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Spoken…..

(Richie) Well Johnny are you going to sing a little song?

(Johnny) I’m going to sing about me little morris minor

(Richie) An I’ll sing a song about me wife

(Johnny) Right you start an I’ll join in

Chorus

(Richie) Oh me wife she is five foot three a blond there is no finer

(Johnny) I bought her in nineteen fifty-nine she’s a little a morris minor

(Richie) I met her at a dance one night below in enniscorthy

(Johnny) I traded in a commer van it was a nineteen forty

(Richie) Well we sang and danced all night long sure we could not be parted

(Johnny) I had her for about an hour before I got her started

(Richie) I asked her if I could leave her home she said her name was june

(Johnny) I never liked the colour she was a dirty red maroon

Chorus

(Richie) Well I walked her home held her tight we done things ya could not mention

(Johnny) But I tell ya sure and certain boys she had a great suspension

(Richie) Well we courted strong for six long months before I did propose

(Johnny) It was then she got all steamed up and burst her water hose

Chorus

(Richie) On a day in june we were wed our hearts the did entwine

(Johnny) But most of her upholstery was tied up would baling twine

(Richie) She looked so well on our honeymoon in her night attire

(Johnny) She had lovely cromey head lights but a very bad spare tyre

Chorus

(Richie) Well now we have five children the youngest he is pat

(Johnny) There’s a fair auld spark left in her though sometimes the batteries flat

(Richie) Now junes hair is turning grey but there is no finer

(Johnny) And I wouldn’t trade her for the world me little morris minor

Final Chorus

(Richie) Oh me wife she is five foot three a blond there is no finer

(Johnny) I bought her in nineteen fifty-nine she’s a little a morris minor

(Richie) I met her at a dance one night below in enniscorthy

(Johnny) I traded in a commer van it was a nineteen forty

(Richie) Oh her name is june

(Johnny) She’s maroon she’s me little morris minor

(Johnny) And I wouldn’t trade her for the world me little morris minor

”His Name It Is Joe Dolan”

lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

There’s a singer here in Ireland the greatest of all men
He started off in mullingar with his brother ben
His first job was a printer his first love was to sing
His very first recording was the answer to everything

His name it is Joe Dolan the year was sixty four
He made the Irish charts but there was more and more
House with the white washed gable my own peculiar way
Teresa,I need you,I love you more and more everyday

Chorus

Pretty brown eyes, aching breaking heart
Make me an island, made the british chart
He’s number one in europe he played the usa
He even played in russia before their freedom day

Chorus

He’s a westmeath bachelor a golf club he likes to swing
Your a good looking woman, you’ll often hear him sing
His voice it is unique no one he imitates
He has his own individuality thats why he is so great

Chorus

”Fagan’s Chipper Van”

lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Oh me name is Johnny Fagan I’m a hard working man
An I always wanted for to own a little chipper van
I bought a Buy and Sell it’s full of adds you know
Then I seen an add for a chipper van in the county of Mayo

Chorus
Did you ever wonder why
I got vinger in me eye
Would you like a little sausage
I’ve a lovely little sausage
Would you like to buy a sausage
From me little chipper van

I godder up a few auld bob and off I did go
Sure I bought the little chipper van in the county of Mayo
It used to be a bread van of Mooney and O’Brian
But now it’s a little chipper van an I’m glad that it is mine

Chorus

I buy all me spuds in Wexford the greatest spuds around
The make power full chips the got no frost in the ground
The chicken comes from Kellistown fish from the Irish sea
All cooked by Johnny Fagan, Johnny Fagan now thats me

Chorus

I sell all kinds of burgers coke and curry to
If your feeling kinda hungary you know now what to do
If you see Fagan’s chipper parked outside a pup
You now Johnny Fagan only sells the best a grub

Final Chorus

Did you ever wonder why
I got vinger in me eye
Would you like a little sausage
I’ve a lovely little sausage
Would you like to buy a sausage
From me little chipper van
Would you like to buy a sausage
From from the Johnny Fagan man

”Face Her For Mount Leinster”

lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Aon, Do, Tri, Ceathair, get them feet and start to clater
One,Two,Three Four, keep them dancing on the floor

Chorus

Oh face her for the mountain and face her for the hill
When you face her for Mount Leinster she’ll keep on dancing still
Oh face her for the valley and face her for the glenn
When you face her for Mount Leinster she’ll start to dance again

She is a lovely girl and she has a lovely sister
I tell you were they live they live up on Mount Leinster
She’s a great girl with a hurley and a great girl with a sliter
She may be small and burley but be gore there is no fitter

Chorus

Aon, Do, Tri, Ceathair,

She plays the auld camogie with the local team
Who shall, we shall, Myshall, yall hear the fans all scream
I brought her to the disco and I brought her to the pub
Then I brought her to the chippers because she likes her grub

Chorus

Aon, Do, Tri, Ceathair, get them feet and start to clater
One,Two,Three Four, keep them dancing on the floor

Oh face her for for the mountain and face her for the hill
When you face her for Mount Leinster she’ll keep on dancing still
Oh face her for the valley and face her for the glenn
When you face her for Mount Leinster she’ll start to dance again

”Me First Marquee Dance”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie)..Aye Johnny di ya remember yer first marquee dance?

At sixteen years of age I went to my first marquee dance
Girls dresses were so short you could nearly see their pants
Then I spy’ed this little red head that I never seen before
And I asked her if she’d like to come for a spin around the floor

Well she held me o so tightly she stuck to me like glue
Sure I got so excited I did’ent know what to do
I brought her for a mineral she drank the bleady lot
I asked her if she’d go with me she sure why not

Well I got me brothers car keys it was an A forty
Then myself and the red head went outside now ya see
Well she started for to kiss me all over my big face
And she started for to tickle me in me important little place

Well the sweat it run down me face at what she might do next
I was afraid for to feel her leg in case the girl got vexted
She says do you love me says I sure I dont know
She says now your a quar fellow your working to dam slow

Well I laded me hand upon her knee an then to my suprise
Looking through the wind screen were two great big mad eyes
She says it is me brother he keeps an eye on me
Then he opened up the car door an stuck in his head ya see

He says I’m this girls brother what are you doing to her
Go home to your manny ya sixteen year auld cur
He had a great big woolie head he was a savage of a man
And in his right hand he had a great big guinness can

He had far to much drink taken an he started for to mouth
He drew out his left hand and gave me an awful a clouth
Well the red head came between us she says leave the chap alone
Stand back stand back he shouted I’m going to skin him to the bone

Well I never will forget me first marque dance
I went there the next night never gave the girls a glance
Never want to see that red head o never no no more
Cause you know her great big brother would lay cold out on the floor
Cause you know that great big brother would lay cold out on the floor

(Richie)..Did ya ever see the red head since Johnny

(Johnny)..She was ”A Rale Humdinger” lad, I married her

(Richie)..Yer codding

(Johnny)..I’m not.

”John Tyndall”

( Waltz ) Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

John Tyndall was born in carlow and a quar thing I’ll tell now to you
He was the first man in all of the world to explain why the sky it is blue

Born in the village of leighlin his homestead is standing there still
His good friend and teacher John Conwill thought him there in the school on the hill

John Tyndall was born in carlow and a quar thing I’ll tell now to you
He was the first man in all of the world to explaine why the sky it is blue

John was a great man of science and also a skilled mountaineer
From humble beginnings in leighlin the science world he would domineer

John Tyndall was born in carlow and a quar thing I’ll tell now to you
He was the first man in all of the world to explaine why the sky it is blue

Now his life it was full of adventure and he lived nearly three score and ten
Many books he had written and published sure he was a great man with a pen

John Tyndall was born in carlow and a quar thing I’ll tell now to you
He was the first man in all of the world to explaine why the sky it is blue

He was a great man of learning and a great educationalist too

”The Borris Fair”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

On the fifteenth day of august a everyone is there

They come from miles around a to the borris fair

Theres all kinds of tinkers dalers and conmen

And even three card tricks a game thats hard to win

Its threre you’ll see the faces of the friends from long ago

Some of them have changed so much begor you’d hardly know

Ah when you started talking the memories they come back

Of great fairs now in borris the daleing and the crack

‘’Stay wut her, Johny stay wut her’’

The imigrants they come home from far across the sea

Ah borris on the fifteenth thats the place to be

A great day for the children ice cream and the like

Me daddy used to bring me on the bar of the bike

Your looking for a jackass a puckan or a pony

The tinker man he has them all if you have the money

Cd tapes and videos an loads of old brick brack

Your sure to get a good dale if you have the dealing nack

”Up The Road”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie) Johnny were ya good at the riddles going to school

(Johnny) I was’ent to bad lad

(Richie) Right listen to this

(Richie)
What goes up the road and down the road over the road and back the road
An never touches no part of the road at all
What goes up the road and down the road over the road and back the road
An never touches no part of the road at all

(Johnny)
I think I know now what it is
I know the answer of your quiz
Sure that auld thing is as auld as sin
I think its an egg inside of a hen

(Richie)
No Johnny no your wrong listen listen to the auld song Johnny listen

(Johnny)
I think this time I am in luck
I think its a egg inside of a duck
Me Granny taught me all them rhymes
Years ago in the good auld times

(Richie)
No Johnny your wrong again Listen to it again we’ll give ya another chance listen Lad

(Johnny)
Its quar hard lad sing it again

(Richie)
I think I’ll have to give ya a clue
With a job like this yad have little to do
Just move around now and again

(Johnny)
Be jabores i think its the council men

(Richie)
Well done Johnny yer a good one

(Richie)
The go up the road and down the road over the road and back the road
An never touch no part of the road at all
The go up the road and down the road over the road and back the road
An never touch no part of the road at all

(Richie)
Up the road and down the road over the road and back the road
An never touch no part of the road at all
The go up the road and down the road over the road and back the road
An never touch no part of the road at all

”Captain Myles Keogh”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Myles Keogh lost his life at the Little Bighorn
A long ways from Carlow the place he was born
After the battle the were counting the dead
When the came to Myles Keogh this red indian he said

This man rode a horse with feathered white feet
He was a brave man he was hard to defeat
His men rally-ed round him the all knew the drill
But the all died together on last stand hill

Myles Keogh a commander at Custer’s last stand
When thousands of indians swamp’ed over the land
Sitting Bull, Crazy Horse, Lakota, Cheyenne
The great seventh Cavalry the soon over ran

Myles Keogh rode a horse with feathered white feet
He was a brave man he was hard to defeat
His men rallyed round him the all knew the drill
But the all died together on last stand hill

The only thing living the only thing found
Was Keoghs horse comanche alive on the ground
They all stepped together to the great garryowen
Now their memory forever is engraved there in stone

Myles Keogh rode a horse with feathered white feet
He was a brave man he was hard to defeat
His men rallyed round him the all knew the drill
But the all died together on last stand hill

”Our Anniversary is Today”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

(Johnny) How long do you know the wife now lad?

Our Anniversary is today
I love’s her still in the same auld way
She is me darling she’s me true love
She is me turtle dove

Well the first time I saw her was across the dance floor
I knew I’d never seen her there before
Her lovely smile her hair it did shine
I knew then her love would be mine

Our Anniversary is today
I love’s her still in the same auld way
She is me darling she’s me true love
She is me turtle dove

I brought her home on the bar of the bike
She lived in Clonmore it was a long hike
I cycled home by the light of the moon
We were married the following June

Our Anniversary is today
I love’s her still in the same auld way
She is me darling she’s me true love
She is me turtle dove

Well we brought up the children thought the money was tight
We all pulled together said our prayers every night
Through the good times, the bad times, the happy, the sad
A better woman no man ever had

Our Anniversary is today
I love’s her still in the same auld way
She is me darling she’s me true love
She is me turtle dove

Now we’er taking it easy we’er taking our time
We’er slowly maturing like a bottle of wine
And we’ve been saving the best till the last
To the further, the present, the past

Our Anniversary is today
I love’s her still in the same auld way
She is me darling she’s me true love
She is me turtle dove

”The Disney Gravestone”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

There’s a churchyard in carlow near a broken down house
Where lie the ancestors of the great Mickey Mouse
Walt Disney’s forefathers lie under long grass
Gravestone unnoticed by people who pass

A Disney left Ireland sailed over the sea
Could never have dream’ent what was going to be
That one of his family not now very soon
Would make a great fortune from a classic cartoon

There’s a churchyard in carlow near a broken down house
Where lie the ancestors of the great Mickey Mouse
Walt Disney’s forefathers lie under long grass
Gravestone unnoticed by people who pass

Ub Lwerks drew Mickey and brought him to life
The name Mickey mouse was thought up by Walt’s wife
Walt Disney was Mickey,s voice on the screen
The greatest cartoon that ever has been

There’s a churchyard in carlow near a broken down house
Where lie the ancestors of the great Mickey Mouse
Walt Disney’s forefathers lie under long grass
Gravestone unnoticed by people who pass

It’s sad now that no one would bodder at all
To clean up the churchyard or fix up the wall
Clean up the gravestone with the family name
Disney’s from carlow who reached such great fame

There’s a churchyard in carlow near a broken down house
Where lie the ancestors of the great Mickey Mouse
Walt Disney’s forefathers lie under long grass
Gravestone unnoticed by people who pass

”Never Say Ow!”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

A quar thing I’ll tell you about a cow now
You can pull all her tit’s but she’ll never say Ow!
Never say Ow! Oh never say Ow!
You can pull all her tit’s but she’ll never say Ow!

Me granny she thought me how to milk a cow
Site down there young man an I’ll show you how
Pull one tit pull two tit’s pull three and pull four
Then start with tit one and just do like before

A quar thing I’ll tell you about a cow now
You can pull all her tit’s but she’ll never say Ow!
Never say Ow! Oh never say Ow!
You can pull all her tit’s but she’ll never say Ow!

The cow’s love life is so very dull
The AI man now replace’s the bull
There’s noting on earth the cow she can do
Look over the gate and just give a big Moo

A quar thing I’ll tell you about a cow now
You can pull all her tit’s but she’ll never say Ow!
Never say Ow! Oh never say Ow!
You can pull all her tit’s but she’ll never say Ow!

(Richie) Stay wut her Johnny

(Johnny) That’s right that’s the truth, lie on her head lad, lie on head

She like’s to be out in the field every day
There’s no buttercup’s there all killed with spray
She grazes the grass in the field o so green
But there’s no buttercups or wildflowers to be seen

A quar thing I’ll tell you about a cow now
You can pull all her tit’s but she’ll never say Ow!
Never say Ow! Oh never say Ow!
You can pull all her tit’s but she’ll never say Ow!

(Johnny) Stay wut her lad

Oh never say Ow! never say Ow!
You can pull all her tit’s but she’ll never say Ow!
Never say Ow! Oh never say Ow!
You can pull all her tit’s but she’ll never say Ow!

(Richie) The crater has a very long face Johnny.

(Johnny) Yes cause she never gets the bull,The AI man dose the job, A quar go an too.

”Paddy’s Day”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Saint Patrick came to Ireland in four thirty two
He tried to make a christan out a me an out a you
Held up a bit of shamrock frighting all the snakes away
And thats why we still celabrate Paddys Day

Paddys Day, A Paddys Day
We’er going to have the craic and put a few pints away
We march down the town with the shamrock on our chest
Cause we are all Irish and us Irish are best
Paddy Paddy Paddy
Paddy Paddy’s Day
A Paddy Paddy Paddy
Paddy Paddy’s Day

He lit a pascal fire upon the hill of Slane
The Tara king he saw it and nearly went insane
Very soon Saint Patrick the king he did convert
Thats why we still have people a’ praying down in Clonfert

A Paddy Paddy Paddy
Paddy Paddy’s Day
A Paddy Paddy Paddy
Paddy Paddy’s Day

Saint Patrick came to Ireland in four thirty two
He tried to make a christan out a me an out a you
Held up a bit of shamrock frighting all the snakes away
And thats how we still celabrate Paddys Day

Paddys Day, A Paddys Day
We’er going to have the craic and put a few pints away
We march down the town with the shamrock on our chest
Cause we are all Irish and us Irish are best
A Paddy Paddy Paddy
Paddy Paddy’s Day
A Paddy Paddy Paddy
Paddy Paddy’s Day

Saint Patrick came to Ireland in four thirty two
He tried to make a christan out a me an out a you
Held up a bit of shamrock frighting all the snakes away
And thats how we still celabrate Paddys Day

”The Gordon Bennett Race”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

A Hundred years ago today in nineteen hundred and three
The Gordon Bennett race It was a sight to see
Jenatzy was the winner in six hours thirty nine
In a sixty horse Mercedes he had the fastest time

The starting point was Kilrush Just outside Athy
Cars sped off driving dust up in the sky
Open to all Nations cars of every Make
Tearing down the road leaving zig zag marks in there wake

A Hundred years ago today in nineteen hundred and three
The Gordon Bennett race It was a sight to see
Jenatzy was the winner in six hours thirty nine
In a sixty horse Mercedes he had the fastest time

Cars reach sixty five miles an hour on the Ballyshannon straight
Where people paid a guinea for a roadside seat
Ardscull Moat was crowded on the day
From there you could see dust from cars Three miles away

A Hundred years ago today in nineteen hundred and three
The Gordon Bennett race It was a sight to see
Jenatzy was the winner in six hours thirty nine
In a sixty horse Mercedes he had the fastest time

Mechanics had there work cut out believe it or not
Threw water on the tyres because they got so hot
Sensation of the day was the gorteen crossroads crash
When a car broke its wheel and turned over with a smash

A Hundred years ago today in nineteen hundred and three
The Gordon Bennett race It was a sight to see
Jenatzy was the winner in six hours thirty nine
In a sixty horse Mercedes he had the fastest time

(Richie) Is’nt That right Johnny

(Johnny) Thats right thats the truth Me Granddad told me all about it ,He said all the roadside hedges had to be cut,They took the humps off the bridges and steam rolled all the roads,

(Johnny)”And Thats the Truth cause me Granddad ad know”

A Hundred years ago today in nineteen hundred and three
The Gordon Bennett race It was a sight to see
Jenatzy was the winner in six hours thirty nine
In a sixty horse Mercedes he had the fastest time

Jenatzy there behind the wheel mechanic by his side
Brought the Gordon Bennett cup to Germany with such pride
Second place and Third Panhards they were fast
A Mors it was fourth and the Napier was last

A Hundred years ago today in nineteen hundred and three
The Gordon Bennett race It was a sight to see
Jenatzy was the winner in six hours thirty nine
In a sixty horse Mercedes he had the fastest time

In a sixty horse Mercedes he had the fastest time

Gordon Bennett Cup Race Results 1903

1. Jenatzy (Mercedes), 6h39m at 49.2mph

2. De Knyff (Panhard), 6h50m

3. Farman (Panhard), 6h51m

4. Gabriel (Mors), 7h11m

5. Edge (Napier), 9h28m (disqualified)

”Do You Really Love Your Mammy”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie) Heres a little song about all the mammy’s in all the world

Do you really love your mammy do you love her every day
Cause you’ll never miss your mammy till your mammy’s gone away
When the good lord up in heaven calls her to the golden gate
Its then you’ll miss your mammy but its then twill be to late

When you were a little baby she was o so fond of you
She would feed you night and morning and wash your little bottom too
When you had your little windies she knew just what to do
And your gums when you were teething she watched them all grow through

And when first you went to school she was there to hold your hand
When you made your conformation sure she had you looking grand
All the times you were in trouble beside you she would stand
On your twenty first a birthday it was her who payed the band

Now your courting days are over and you never more will roam
She was o so very happy when you bought your little home
Now your children call her Granny but she’s still your Mammy too
And no matter what life brings you Mammy always will love you

Do you really love your mammy do you love her evert day
Cause you’ll never miss your mammy till your mammy’s gone away

”A Ferguson Tractor”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie) Di ya remember the little Ferguson tractor Johnny?

(Johnny) The were a great little yoke you start an I’ll join in,

Oh I am a little Ferguson built so many years ago
I was bought up in Dublin at the RDS spring show
I’m a lovely little tractor and I look so very cute
Not like the tractor of today that great big ugly brute

Well they brought me home to Fenagh in the county of Carlow
And the first man to drive me was mickey’s uncle joe
He put on his top coat and he jumped upon me sate
Pulled back on the throttle and he flew out through the gate

All the auld lads started laughing and jeering now you see
They said that auld black jackass was far better now then me
But the jackass he is long since dead his bones has turned to dust
Here am I freshly painted would nare a speck a rust

Oh where have all the years gone by I’m parked here in the shed
Poor auld uncle joe is inside crippled in the bed
But every september until the man is dead
He’ll grab his little walking aid an he’ll head up for the shed

He’ll check me oil and water he’ll shine and polish me
Then he’ll bring me down to Fenagh for everyone to see
They’ll put him sitting on me sate he looks so very proud
As he drives me through the steam rally to the cheering of the crowed

Not like the tractor of today that great big ugly brute

”A Little Bit Of Lastic”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

I’m a little bit of lastic an a little bit of lace
I was made for to cover your important little place
Lads try to get their hands on me and end up in disgrace
I’m a little bit of lastic an a little bit of lace

I come in all kinds of colours every shape an size
The one thing about me is the element of surprise
Every monday morning I’m hung out on the line
And left there all day if the weather it is fine

I’m a little bit of lastic an a little bit of lace
I was made for to cover your importan little place
Lads try to get their hands on me and end up in disgrace
I’m a little bit of lastic an a little bit of lace

Ah sure I’m hanging here upon the line all through out the day
An as the lads pass by they all ways look my way
Ya know now if I could talk to them such story’s I could tell
But I know the way the look at me the know it all to well

(Richie) Stay wut her Johnny stat wut her

(Johnny) Thats right thats the truth

Now the make me much smaller I hardly cover it at all
A course the price is bigger though I am very small
Now when I get a bit torn I know the end is near
Thought I hear that big maggie has the same one 20 year

”A Travellin Man”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie) Johnny are you going to sing a song

(Johnny) I’m going to sing about a little Travellin Man an it goes something like this

Oh I am a little travellin man
Some people calls me tinker dan
I have a great big hiace van
An I buy an sell all that I can

Will ya buy a bit a carpet an I’ll give it to ya chape
Di ya want a radio will ya buy an auld tape
Sure I never coded no one no time in me life
Will ya buy a bit a carpet an I’ll give it to ya chape
Di ya want a radio will ya buy an auld tape
Sure I never coded no one no time in me life

Well I was rared in a horse drawn van
Me father was a cute little man
We used to travel near an far
With a pie ball horse an a little spring car

Oh I am a little travellin man
Some people calls me tinker dan
I have a great big hiace van
An I buy an sell all that I can

(Richie) Stay wut her Johnny, stay wut her

Ah the places we used to camp and stay
Are all filled up with stones and clay
We’er toult stay going now keep away
Sure we can’t keep going till our dying day

Oh I am a little travellin man
Some people calls me tinker dan
I have a great big hiace van
An I buy an sell all that I can

Well me brother Mickey he’s the one
If ya want a bit a tarmacadem done
I’m not coding ya now he’ll do a good job
An he’ll only charge ya a small few bob

Oh I am a little travellin man
Some people calls me tinker dan
I have a great big hiace van
An I buy an sell all that I can

Well me father toult me how to buy and sell
I,m not coding ya boy I,m doing quar well
I paid for me house and me hiace van
And I,m proud to be called a travellin man

Oh I am a little travellin man
Some people calls me tinker dan
I have a great big Hiace van
An I buy an sell all that I can

No I never coded no one no time in me life

(Johnny) ”That’s The Truth”

”The Carlow Fence”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

There never was a structure before now or since
As unique and sturdy as the carlow fence
The upright on top was cut into a vee
For the end of the lentil to fit into you see

Says watson down in fenagh this granite fence I,m starting
You,ll see it still beside the road down in ballydarton
All throughout the county you,ll see this fence still
Grand ones in oak park and up in ballinakill

There never was a structure before now or since
As unique and sturdy as the carlow fence
The upright on top was cut into a vee
For the end of the lentil to fit into you see

Cleaved from a rock up out of the ground
The cleaver worked the stone wherever it was found
With stone pick wedges plug and two feathers
Simple tools but mighty tools when the were worked together

There never was a structure before now or since
As unique and sturdy as the carlow fence
The upright on top was cut into a vee
For the end of the lentil to fit into you see

God bless the stone cutters for the lovely work the did
Hard auld work for a small few quid
A heritage in stone there forever more
The lovely Carlow fence a fence that I adore

There never was a structure before now or since
As unique and sturdy as the carlow fence
The upright on top was cut into a vee
For the end of the lentil to fit into you see

”The Pothole Song”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie) Heres a little song about the holiest country in all the world ”Holy Ireland” Is’aint that right Johnny?

(Johnny) ”Thats Right Thats The Truth” you start an I’ll join in

(Richie) Right Johnny here we go

Now they call us holy Ireland great big potholes everywhere
If your going out a driving make sure and bring the spare
Ah me little back suspension goes bobbing up and down
Even though I pay me road tax the treat me like a clown

There’s big ones there’s little ones there’s some a duck could swim
And if you hit a bad one you’ll soon be on the rim
You can go and get your puncher fix’ed there’s no one from to claim
You can ask your county counselor but he wont take the blame

So they call us holy Ireland great big potholes everywhere
If your going out a driving make sure and bring the spare
Ah me little back suspension goes bobbing up and down
Even though I pay me road tax the treat me like a clown

(Richie) Now Johnny its your turn

(Johnny) ”Thats Right Thats The Truth”

They send out a great big lorry with three fellows in the back
A little barrel a tar and a few chipping in a sack
There hunting for the potholes but they don’t get very far
After filling twenty holes they get run out of tar

So the head back for the depot but their told to go away
The ganger man says one barrel supposed to last all day
Now I don’t blame the council men their back is to the wall
I blame them fancy fellows sitting down there in the Dail

Now when there’s an election they’ll come knocking at your door
Says you I remember you you were here before
You said yad fill the potholes you treat me like a goat
If you fill up the potholes then I’ll give you me vote

Even though you pay your road tax the treat you like a clown

(Johnny) ”Thats Right Thats The Truth”

”I love My Juggernaut”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Oh believe it or believe it not i love me juggernaut !!
I’ve been all over Ireland to the North i’ve seen the lot
I’m hauling great big bales of hay I’m heading for Mayo
With potholes all through Cavan sure i’ll have to drive so slow

In the morning I’m up early on the road at half past five
The air is fresh and crispy by it’s great to be alive
I fall in behind a crawler put me foot down on the gas
But the roads are to bumpy for me juggernaut to pass

(Johnny) Breaker Breaker I’m looking for a copy

(Richie) 10/4 This is big Rich come back

(Johnny) Ah this is your auld pal Johnny

(Richie) Ah Johnny what’s your 20

I’m in the County Offaly and I’m awfully sorry now
I broke the mirrors of me cab and I’d like to tell you how
With sceachs bows and bushes rubbing of me load
I wish the county council would trim along the road

(Richie) Come back Johnny come back

Some people call us juggernaut’s ,Artic’s or big trucks
Some people even give us horrid dirty looks
I know you’ve got your reasons sometimes for to frown
But did you ever try to drive a Scania through your town

(Richie) Stay wut her Johnny stay wut her

(Johnny ) That’s right that’s the truth rev’er on the corners

(Richie) And face her for Mount Leinster

I know I swing me volvo all around your market square
I know that you think lorry drivers we just don’t care
But the streets are so narrow built so many years ago
They were built for horses carts not juggernauts you know

(Richie) Come back Johnny, come back, we’ll leave the last one to you

I’m in the county Offaly and I’m awfully sorry now
I broke the mirrors of me cab and I’d like to tell you how
With sceachs bows and bushes the council will not cut
When I get back to the depot the boss will do his nut
Oh when I get back to the depot the boss will do his nut

”Mickeys Buckin’ Ass”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Oh me uncle mickey had a buckin ass {eh ah}
This buckin ass you’d know was awfull the crass {eh ah}
He was the biggest buckin ass the finest buckin ass
The wildest buckin ass in Ireland

Well he bought the buckin ass in Tullamore
From a man that he never seen before
He brought it home that day twas in the month of May
Sure he said he’d have him for to mow the hay

Oh me uncle mickey had a buckin ass {eh ah}
This buckin ass you’d know was awfull crass {eh ah}
He was the biggest buckin ass the finest buckin ass
The wildest buckin ass in Ireland

Well he yoked the buckin ass up to the cart
An then the holy ruckins it did start
Well he bucked it in the air and he bucked it all around
Till he smashed the bloody cart upon the ground

Oh me uncle mickey had a buckin ass {eh ah}
This buckin ass you’d know was awfull crass {eh ah}
He was the biggest buckin ass the finest buckin ass
The wildest buckin ass in Ireland

There was a donkey derby up in Naas
And Mickey said we’d surely win the race
But he was out of luck the ass he ran a muck
So the put the bucker back into the truck
Then uncle Mickey got so very crass
He says your an awful bucking ass
But you’ll buck around no more like you used to before
Cause I’m going to bring you back to Tullamore

Oh……Oh…..Oh…..Oh……Oh…Oh….Oh
Me uncle mickey had a buckin ass {eh ah}
This buckin ass you’d know was awfull crass {eh ah}
He was the biggest buckin ass the finest buckin ass
The wildest buckin ass in Ireland
The biggest buckin ass the finest buckin ass
The wildest buckin ass in Ireland
The biggest buckin ass the finest buckin ass
The wildest buckin ass in Ireland

”Are The Bin Men Coming”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie) Johnny did you put out the bin?

(Johnny) I did ya, I did

Get your little wheelie bin
And put all of your rubbish in
You better hurry don’t be late
They’ll soon be outside of your gate

Are the bin me coming
Are the bin me coming
It’s the cry of every woman
Will the bin men come today
They’ll be looking for your wheelie bin
They’ll be looking for your wheelie bin
You better hurry don’t be late
They’ll soon be outside of your gate

Every Thursday their on time
Whether it be wet or fine
Their the men to shift your bin
No matter what you put there in

They always have a big hello
Even if you they don’t know
Charlie wears his hair so long
But the drivers hair is long since gone

So you wheel your bin back in again
Next week you’ll fill it to the brim
Where dose the rubbish all come from
Will it still be here when we’er long gone

“Rev’er On The Corners”

lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

I never had a rally car since or before,
Like the mk 2 escort that I bought in 84,
She was almost ten years auld an had seen better days,
Yad rev-er on the corners and drive-er straight sideways.

Chorus
Rev-er .. rev-er.. rev-er on the corners and drive-er straight sideways,
Yad rev-er on the corners and drive-er straight sideways.
Oh rev-er .. rev-er.. rev-er on the corners and drive-er straight sideways,
Yad rev her on the corners and drive-er straight sideways.

First time that I saw her I knew what I had to do,
Strip her down compleatly an build her up brand new,
She was the squar -edged version that appeared in 75,
The greatest car ever made A be the holy man alive.

Rev-er .. rev-er.. rev-er on the corners and drive-er straight sideways,
Yad rev-er on the corners and drive-er straight sideways.
Oh rev-er .. rev-er.. rev-er on the corners and drive-er straight sideways,
Yad rev her on the corners and drive-er straight sideways.

Richie and Johnnie Talking ……………………..
Richie ….Yer a good one Johnnie, Yer a good one,……. Shes looking quar well now lad.
Johnny…… ”Thats right thats the truth” …… She’s going like a clock.

She has a Millington Diamond engine it is a two point four,
With a webber carburetor sure ya could’ent ask for more,
She has a great back axel an brand new koni shocks,
A sturdy 6 speed gear box that I call the auld dog box.

Richie and Johnnie Talking ……………………..
Richie……..Stay wut her Johnny
Johnny……”Thats Right Thats The Truth”

“Pussy-Pussy-Cat”

lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Richie got the idea for this song from watching the BBC sitcom ”Are you being served” on TV. that aired from 1972 to 1985. Mrs. Slocombe’s husband left her and she lived with her cat, Tiddles, which she referred to as ”my pussy” this was the source of many a double entendere, most of which Mrs. Slocombe herself completely misses.”Richie reached No.5 in the Irish top 30 charts with the song in 2001”

“Oh me girl friend has a pussy a lovely pussy now
An everytime I rubs it a she goes miaow
She has a lovely pussy I seen it in her house
I did I seen her pussy cat a gobble up a mouse!

Oh ya thought it was so naughty but it’s not a naughty song
Ya thought it was so naughty I was coddin all along
Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy a Pussy Cat
Pussy Pussy Pussy So fluffy and so fat

First time I saw her pussy twas on a summers day
Her lovely fluffy pussy a lying in the hay
A di ya like me pussy its’ the only one I got
Begore I do, I surly do I like it quite a lot!

“Oh me girl friend has a pussy a lovely pussy now
An everytime I rubs it a she goes miaow
She has a lovely pussy I seen it in her house
I did I seen her pussy cat a gobble up a mouse!

Oh ya thought it was so naughty but it’s not a naughty song
Ya thought it was so naughty I was coddin all along
Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy a Pussy Cat
Pussy Pussy Pussy So fluffy and so fat

Twas late that night when I got home twas early in the morning
Me Mammy says get in to bed me boy you should be snoring
What kept ya out me Mammy says ya know shes awful fussy
Says I, sure I was only playing with me girlfriends pussy!

Well me Mammy nearly done her nut come here you little brat
A chap like you at 32 them things should not be at
But Mammy you should see it such a lovely pussy cat
A rubbing up against me” a sitting on the mat

“Oh me girl friend has a pussy a lovely pussy now
An everytime I rubs it a she goes miaow
She has a lovely pussy I seen it in her house
I did I seen her pussy cat a gobble up a mouse!

Oh ya thought it was so naughty but it’s not a naughty song
Ya thought it was so naughty I was coddin all along
Pussy Pussy Pussy Pussy a Pussy Cat
Pussy Pussy Pussy So fluffy and so fat

Pussy Pussy Pussy So fluffy and so fat ”Mia-ow”

”The Little Honda 50”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie) Johnny do you remember the little Honda 50?

(Johnny) The were a great little yoke lad

A the little Honda 50 boys the were all the craic
A little Honda 50 with a white box on the back
The were called a chicken chaser the’ed drive chickens everywhere
And the were owned by County Council men from here to Co Clare

Yad buy them on the HP ten bob or a little more
Then you could go to places that you never went before
Yad sit there on the saddle sure you would’ent have a care
And the quar one sat behind you would the wind blowing in her hair

The ganger man Jack Murphy he never would be late
He’ed park his Honda 50 outside the Council gate
At ten o’clock the Postman up the road he’ed sail
On his little Honda 50 delivering all the mail

The little Mini Minor and the Morris Minor too
Just like the Honda 50 meant so much to me and you
Yad buy them on the HP ten bob or a little more
And yad hope now that the boss man he’ed go guarantor

”A TD In The Dail”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Would you like to be a TD in the Dail (In the Dail)
Sitting there upon your bum doing sweet damn all (Sweet Damn all)
Shake my hand and get me vote
Then you treat me like a goat
(Johnny) There’s too many T.D’s sitting in the dail

They throw so much muck at one another
You know what I think they’d even sell there mother
Fianna Fail, Fine Gael, P.D, Labour all the same
When in trouble the others they do blame

Oh Would you like to be a TD in the Dail ( In the Dail)
Sitting there upon your bum doing sweet damn all (Sweet Damn all)
Shake my hand and get me vote
Then you treat me like a goat
(Johnny) There’s too many T.D’s sitting in the dail

Well they spend some much time up in the air
On there private jet they sit without a care
They sit down there so relaxed
While were all so over taxed
And they rather no questions would be asked

Would you like to be a TD in the Dail ( In the Dail)
Sitting there upon your bum doing sweet damn all (Sweet Damn all)
Shake my hand and get me vote
Then you treat me like a goat
(Johnny) There’s too many T.D’s sitting in the dail

What I’m going to tell you now is no surprise
They give all there top jobs to there loyal auld boys
Maybe we shouldn’t point and blame
Sure we’d all do the bleady same
If we were T.D’s sitting in the Dail

(Richie) Stay wut her Johnny

(Johnny) Thats Right Thats the Truth

Would you like to be a TD in the Dail ( In the Dail)
Sitting there upon your bum doing sweet damn all (Sweet Damn all)
Shake my hand and get me vote
Then you treat me like a goat

(Johnny & Richie)

There’s too many T.D’s sitting in the Dail
Oh there’s far too many T.Ds in the Dail

”No More Beer”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie) Hey Johnny will we go for a pint?

(Johnny) Ah sure we’ll get one between us lad

Oh the Drink laws in Ireland they are so severe
Your only allowed three quarters of beer
If the man at the counter serves you a full pint
If you drink it all down you cant drive home tonight

So Severe (So Severe)
No More Beer (No More Beer)
Pubs all up for sale by the end of the year

Well I drank down a full pint last saturday night
I said I’d drive home sure I was feeling alright
The guard he was pulling and he pulled me in
Blow into this bag now says he with a grin

Oh the Drink laws in Ireland they are so severe
Your only allowed three quarters of beer
If the man at the counter serves you a full pint
If you drink it all down you cant drive home tonight

So Severe (So Severe)
No More Beer (No More Beer)
Pubs all up for sale by the end of the year

Well I blew in the bag and the Guard looked at it
He says your over the limit be a small little bit
If I done my duty suspended you’d be
Let this be a warning and I ‘ll let ya go free

Oh the Drink laws in Ireland they are so severe
Your only allowed three quarters of beer
If the man at the counter serves you a full pint
If you drink it all down you cant drive home tonight

So Severe (So Severe)
No More Beer (No More Beer)
Pubs all up for sale by the end of the year

Well me wife she’s from Mayo she’s a grand little doll
And the Great thing about her she drinks no alcohol
So the next time I go for a night on the beer
I’ll let her do the driving and then there’s nothing to fear

Oh the Drink laws in Ireland they are so severe
Your only allowed three quarters of beer
If the man at the counter serves you a full pint
If you drink it all down you cant drive home tonight

So Severe (So Severe)
No More Beer (No More Beer)
Pubs all up for sale by the end of the year

(Johnny) Don’t drink down that full pint of beer now ya hear

Thats the Truth

”Keep The Shovel Tipping”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie) Johnny how long are ya on the council now?

Well I have been on the council twenty year
And I’ll never leave it don’t you fear
One time they tried to get rid of me
But I wouldn’t take my redundancy

Oh keep the shovel tipping
You wont feel the time is slipping
Come in time Go home in time
And take your time all day

Well I started off as a shovel man
Then they made me a ganger man
I think the time is coming near
When I’ll become an overseer

Oh keep the shovel tipping
You wont feel the time is slipping
Come in time Go home in time
And take your time all day

Well the overseer his not so bad
His retiring soon and I’m so glad
Because I think I’ll get his job
And its worth an extra few auld bob

Oh keep the shovel tipping
You wont feel the time is slipping
Come in time Go home in time
And take your time all day

If its a cold auld day you have nothing to fear
cause you’ll never see an engineer
His in the office all tucked up
Delving into a big hot cup

Oh keep the shovel tipping
You wont feel the time is slipping
Come in time Go home in time
And take your time all day

(Johnny) Hey Lad is it time to get the tae?

(Richie) Ah one more time Johnny

Oh keep the shovel tipping
You wont feel the time is slipping
Come in time Go home in time
And take your time all day

”If I didn’t get a Ride” (Jockey Johnny)

Richie was inspired to write this song after seeing (Horse Racing Commentator) Ted Walsh
talking about Race Horses on ”The Late Late show” many years ago when Ted said to Gay Byrne
“This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother .”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

I rode a big Maggie and I rode her sister too
I even rode her mother mother I’ve ridden quit a few
I’ve been on top so many times I take it in me stride
I don’t know what I’d ever do if I didn’t get a ride

Oh we are the greatest Jockeys that you have ever seen
A Cheltenham and Punchestown every where we been
We ride now for a living and live now for to ride
An when we gets a good ride it gives us so much pride

(Richie)“Is’ent that Right Johnny?”

(Johnny) “That’s right, that’s the truth”

(Richie) Did you get era good ride lately?”

The greatest ride I ever had on the Curragh of Kildare
Her name was Nelly Fagan she was a lovely mare
Panting under neat me you could’ent ask for more
A such a ride I never had a since or before

Oh ride Jockey Johnny A Ride Ride Ride
I don’t know what I’d ever do if I didn’t get a ride

Sometimes now I get three rides sometimes now I get four
And in the busy season I get even more
We have to keep on riding everything we get
Cause Johnny and me self we haven’t rode a winner yet

Oh ride Jockey Johnny A Ride Ride Ride
I don’t know what I’d ever do, if I didn’t get a ride
Oh ride Jockey Johnny A Ride Ride Ride
I don’t know what I’d ever do, if I didn’t get a ride

”Them Great Cheviot Sheep”

lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Over the hill with my sheep dog over the hills to Wicklow
Over its hills and its valleys the home of that great Cheviot ewe
Jim Norton told me about them he’s known them since he was a boy
He’d talk there about them for hours the are his pride and his joy

(Johnny) I knows a woman from Wicklow

(Richie) Have she sheep Johnny

(Johnny) She have horrad good ones lad

There rared on the high lands of Ireland a hardy strong white mountain sheep
The farmers who live on the mountain a few Cheviot sheep they do keep
Yall see them all over Mount Leinster near Borris, Kiltealy, Myshall
Yall see them in Roundwood in Aughrim and all over the Glenn of Imaal

Three years the spend on the mountain from the time that the were a lamb
Then there sold down to the low lands and bread with a big Suffolk Ram
The Cheviot she yanes in the spring time a lamb with a grand speckled face
If your looking for hardy strong Cheviots Blessington surely the place

He’d talk there about them for hours the are his pride and his joy

”Going To Be A Wedding”

lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

(Johnny) Aye lad did ya enjoy the wedding?

Twas a day in may twas a fine day
There’s going to be a wedding I hear them say
So we hit the Church without delay
And that was the start of a great auld day

In steps the groom and his brother too
They step up there to the very first pew
He hopes that she’ll be here by two
Oh he hopes that she’ll be here at two

Twas a day in may twas a fine day
There’s going to be a wedding I hear them say
So we hit the Church without delay
And that was the start of a great auld day

There’s a car outside I think its the bride
She’s walking up the isle with her daddy at her side
And the grooms eyes the open so wide
And the grooms eyes the open so wide

Twas a day in may twas a fine day
There’s going to be a wedding I hear them say
So we hit the Church without delay
And that was the start of a great auld day

Well the organist sings And the wedding begins
It tis’ent very long till they have the two rings
Gold and Sliver an all them things
Gold and Sliver an all them things

Twas a day in may twas a fine day
There’s going to be a wedding I hear them say
So we hit the Church without delay
And that was the start of a great auld day

Well the time it comes for to sign the book
The Priest and us all we wish you luck
We’er glad that the hotel is booked
Oh we’er glad that the hotel is booked

Twas a day in may twas a fine day
There’s going to be a wedding I hear them say
So we hit the Church without delay
And that was the start of a great auld day

Well they cut the cake and the speeches make
The bride her and the groom their looking great
Twas a grand lump of turkey on me plate
Twas a grand lump of turkey on me plate

Twas a day in may twas a fine day
There’s going to be a wedding I hear them say
So we hit the Church without delay
And that was the start of a great auld day

Well the band starts playing o so loud
The bride and the groom the look so proud
As the dance around there through the crowd
As the dance around there through the crowd

Twas a day in may twas a fine day
There’s going to be a wedding I hear them say
So we hit the Church without delay
And that was the start of a great auld day

Well the end of the day sure it comes to soon
Now yer both going upon your honeymoon
We hope to see you both very soon
Too Ra Loo Ra Ladie Oh
We hope you have a nice honeymoon
Too Ra Loo Ra Ladie Oh
We hope you have a little Baby soon
A Row Dow Dow Da A Did Ally Di Dal Do

(Johnny) Lie on her head

”A Teenager in 1968”

lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Sure I was a teenager in nineteen sixty-eight
I had long jaggie hair and the craic it was great
I wore a flared trousers and great big platform shoes
An the Vietnam war was always in the news

(Richie) ”Stay wut her Johnny” ”Stay wut her”

(Johnny) ”Thats right thats the truth” ”Face her for Mount Leinster”

Everyone was working everybody had a job
It was’ent very fancy but it was a few auld bob
They’ed put up a great big tent they called it a marquee
An we would travel miles our favorite Showbands for to see

Big Tom sang Gentle Mother he was big and round an fat
Dickie Rock sang Georgie Porgie and he was like a lat
Joe Dolan and the Drifters now the played everywhere
And we were all just young lads and we did’ent have a care

Sure I was a teenager in nineteen sixty-eight
I had long jaggie hair and the craic it was great
I wore a flared trousers and great big platform shoes
An the Vietnam war was always in the news

Now teenagers of the nineties no matter what the say
Your parents look so prefect but they were devils in their day
Your Father had a mini car no room to court at all
He often got a better court up against a wall

Your Mother wore a mini skirt miles above her knee
She had no inhibitions she was young slim and free
So the next time you stay out late and your parents shout at you
Tell em Richie and Johnny toult you a thing or two

Sure I was a teenager in nineteen sixty-eight
I had long jaggie hair and the craic it was great
I wore a flared trousers and great big platform shoes
An the Vietnam war was always in the news

”Johnny is a Bachelor”

lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

Oh Johnny is a bachelor and I’d like to tell ya why
He loves and kissed all the girls but his quick to say goodbye
Did you every sleep with a woman or would it be a sin
I wouldn’t be sure for certain I might have dosed off now and again

Well the first girl that Johnny knew I think her name was Mary
I loved this girl dearly but her face was awful hairy
One night I tried to court her in my little morris van
But when I went to feel her leg I found out she was a man

Chorus

Well the next girl that Johnny knew her name was little Sue
In me morris minor she knew just what to do
Every time ya’d kiss her she’d squeeze you oh so tight
Oh Sue was a great auld court she’d keep you out half the night

Chorus

Well the next girl that Johnny knew her name it was kathleen
And she was the grandest girl that you had every seen
One night in me morris minor she said she’d take a chance
Now her brothers an her sisters are all uncles and aunts

Chorus

Well the last girl that Johnny knew her name it was big maggie
I love this girl dearly but her hair was awful jaggy
One night she proposed to me beside a bale of hay
That was a year ago and I’m regretting every day

Last Chorus

Oh Johnny is a not bachelor and I’d like to tell ya why
He loved and kissed big Maggie but he was slow to say goodbye
What’s it like to sleep with Maggie I asked him with a grin
To hell with her hundred acres I wish I was a single man again

Oh to hell with her hundred acres I wish I was a single man again

Song Lyrics

All songs written by Richie.

”Craic, Humour and Song” Celebrating the humor heritage and nostalgia of Ireland in song.

”Aon Focal Eile”

”The Mobile Phone”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

”Chicken Talk”

lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

‘’How Elvis Became A Carlow Man’’

”Stay Wut Her Johnny”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

”My Wife Johnny’s Morris Minor”

lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

”His Name It Is Joe Dolan”

lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

”Fagan’s Chipper Van”

”Face Her For Mount Leinster”

”Me First Marquee Dance”

”John Tyndall”

”The Borris Fair”

”Up The Road”

”Captain Myles Keogh”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

”Our Anniversary is Today”

”The Disney Gravestone”

”Never Say Ow!”

”Paddy’s Day”

”The Gordon Bennett Race”

”Do You Really Love Your Mammy”

”A Ferguson Tractor”

”A Little Bit Of Lastic”

”A Travellin Man”

”The Carlow Fence”

”The Pothole Song”

”I love My Juggernaut”

”Mickeys Buckin’ Ass”

”Are The Bin Men Coming”

“Rev’er On The Corners”

lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

“Pussy-Pussy-Cat”

lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

”The Little Honda 50”

”A TD In The Dail”

”No More Beer”

”Keep The Shovel Tipping”

”If I didn’t get a Ride” (Jockey Johnny)

”Them Great Cheviot Sheep”

”Going To Be A Wedding”

”A Teenager in 1968”

”Johnny is a Bachelor”

”Craic, Humour and Song”

Celebrating the humor heritage and nostalgia of Ireland in song.