Song Lyrics

All songs written by Richie.

”Aon Focal Eile”

Music and lyrics by Richie Kavanagh

When I was just a little lad I used to go to school

I’d sit down there in the seat, feeling like a fool

The teacher toult us everything, everything we know

She had a great big lump of a stick that was bent into a bow

CHORUS:

She’d go “Aon focal, da focal, two focal eile, And I not knowing no focal at all

She’d go “Aon focal, da focal, two focal eile And I not knowing no focal at all

…..

She toult us how to say all our A.B.C.s

She showed us how to make little men out a plasticine

She taught us how to say our prayers, she toult us right from wrong

The only thing about it, we didn’t go to school too long

Chorus

She taught about the history, the Battle of the Boyne

And how to play a game with a chestnut on a twine

She says “Open up your catechism, learn of that information

If you don’t get it in, to your big thick head, you won’t get your conformation

Chorus

Well, the days we spent going to school, were the best years of our life

Tho’ at the time we thought they were full of trouble and strife

Now when I’m home on holiday I pass the old school gate

I think a the time I spent in there, them times the surely were great

Chorus

She’d go “Aon focal, da focal ,two focal eile,

And I not knowing no focal at all She’d go

“Aon focal, da focal, two focal eile And I not knowing no focal at all

Feiceann me,,, Feiceann tu,,, Thats The Truth says I ta you

She’d go “Aon focal, da focal, two focal eile

And I not knowing no focal at all

And we not knowing no focal at all

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The Irish Recorded Music Association Top 30 Hits

Top 30 Singles

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Title: AON FOCAL EILE

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Artist: RICHIE KAVANAGH

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Label: FOCAL RECORDS

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Date of entry: 07.03.1996

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Highest Placement: no 1 for 7 weeks

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Weeks in the Charts: 27

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Year: 1996

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”The Mobile Phone”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

Oh my girlfriend has a mobile phone
Now we can never have a minute alone
The other night I asked her for a kiss
She said hang on now till I answer this.

Oh this mobile phone it is a curse
An it makes a awful hole in her purse
Would her mobile phone she gets such a trill
But her smile disappears when she gets the bill

Chorus

On sunday it rang in the middle of mass
An all the children though it was great gas
Some people though it was the Angelus
But the priest on the alter was furious

Chorus

Last week I was courting her in me car
An she was letting me go to far
The next thing her mobile phone did ring
Just as I was about to put me hand on her …..

Chorus

If your looking for a girlfriend now ya see
My advice to you would be
If the girl that ya fancy has a mobile phone
Don’t bodder about her just leave her alone

Chorus

Spoken..
[Richie] ….. “Hello is that Fenagh double two double two”

[Johnnie] … “No, this Fenagh 22 22”

[Richie] ….. “Ah, Im sorry for getting you out a the bed”

[Johnnie] … “Ah sure I had to come down to answer the phone anyway”

pastedGraphic.tiff

The Irish Recorded Music Association Top 30 Hits

Top 30 Singles

…..

Title: The Mobile Phone

…..

Artist: RICHIE KAVANAGH

…..

Label: FOCAL RECORDS

…..

Highest Placement: no 8


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”Chicken Talk”

lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

[Richie] … Johnny. [Johnny] …. ya,

Richie][ ….When was the first time you heard a naughty word.

…..

First time I heard a naughty word, was when I was a child.

I heard it from the chickens, me granny she went wild.

Me granny says now Johnny, the chickens they don’t curse.

Be gore says I to granny, twas the chicken said it first.

CHORUS

Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off

Now this is chicken talk

Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off

This is what they say, When the chickens they do lay.

Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off.

…..

Then up the yard me granny came and let an awful shout.

She says to me now Johnny, shut that f’en chickens mouth.

I ran the chicken up the yard, across and all around.

And yet the bleddy chicken wouldn’t stop that f’en sound.

CHORUS

Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off

Now this is chicken talk

Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off

This is what they say, When the chickens they do lay.

Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off.

……..

Then granny started cursing ,but the chicken said it first.

The more that granny shouted, the more the chicken cursed.

Granny said I never seen the like in all my life.

I never had a chicken that caused so much strife,

CHORUS

Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off

Now this is chicken talk Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off

This is what they say, When the chickens they do lay.

Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off.

So lets all sing along. lets sing the chicken song.

Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off

Quack quack quack quack ,went the duck.

But the chicken still said fock.

Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off Fock fock fock fock, fock fock fock off

Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock of

Now this is chicken talk Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off

This is what they say, When the chickens they do lay.

Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off Fock fock fock fock, fock fock, fock off

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‘’How Elvis Became A Carlow Man’’

lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

William Presley came from Hacketstown, at the foot of Eagle Hill
The stones from his house, ya’ll see them in the fields there still
I’ll tell you now the story, so listen if you can
And I will tell how, Elvis became a Carlow man

His ancestor was William, Presley now ya see
And from his native Hacketstown, this man was forced to flee
He sailed for america, across the raging sea
Arriving in New Orleans, then on to Tennessee

William great grand daughter, her name it was Rosella
She had a son called Jesse, he was a grand young fella
In nineteen thirteen, Jesse married Minnie Mae
And their son Vernon, brings us right to the present day

Then Vernon married Gladys Smith, in nineteen thirty three
The never realised their son, how famous he would be
The greatest rock and roller, Sure Elvis was the king
That little bit of Irish, maybe helped him for to sing

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”Stay Wut Her Johnny”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

…………….

I am a rally driver on the circuit for years

I’m a woefull man now for jammin gears

I rev’s her on the corners , flat out on the straight

A be the gore a man boys the craic it is great

…………….

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

……………

The car that i drive is an auld escort,

I bought it in galway in the town of gort

Brought her home and i stripped her down

Now she’s one of the greatest auld cars around

…………..

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

…………..

i am a rally driver on the circuit for years

I’m a woefull man now for jammin gears

You should see me doin a handbrake turn

I’m the man to make the tyres burn

…………..

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

…………..

I driving like i never did drive before

I have my foot flat on the floor,

I’m going quare well in the rally so far

Three seconds behind the leading car

…………..

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

…………….

Richie is always the pace notes man,

Shouting them out as loud as he can,

Over a crest doing a hundred an ten

A flat three left then a crest again!!

…………..

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

…………..

i am a rally driver on the circuit for years

I’m a woefull man now for jammin gears

You should see me doin a handbrake turn

I’m the man to make the tyres burn

…………..

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

…………..

Spoken … (Richie) Stay wut ‘er johnny

(Johnny) ”Thats right thats the truth” ”Drive Her Straight Sideways”

…………..

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

…………..

Losing power twas making me nervous

So I headed on back now for the services

Down along the bog road now I was tipping

Then the bleady auld clutch it started slipping

…………….

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

…………….

i am a rally driver on the circuit for years

I’m a woefull man now for jammin gears

You should see me doin a handbrake turn

I’m the man to make the tyres burn

…………..

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

…………..

Oh i am a rally driver on the circuit for years

I’m a woefull man now for jammin gears

You should see me doin a handbrake turn

I’m the man to make the tyres burn

…………….

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

Stay wut ‘er johnny johnny stay wut ‘er johnny

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”My Wife Johnny’s Morris Minor”

lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Spoken….. (Richie) Well Johnny are you going to sing a little song?

(Johnny) I’m going to sing about me little morris minor

(Richie) An I’ll sing a song about me wife

(Johnny) Right you start an I’ll join in

…..

Chorus

(Richie) Oh me wife she is five foot three a blond there is no finer

(Johnny) I bought her in nineteen fifty-nine she’s a little a morris minor

(Richie) I met her at a dance one night below in enniscorthy

(Johnny) I traded in a commer van it was a nineteen forty

…..

(Richie) Well we sang and danced all night long sure we could not be parted

(Johnny) I had her for about an hour before I got her started

(Richie) I asked her if I could leave her home she said her name was june

(Johnny) I never liked the colour she was a dirty red maroon

…..

Chorus

…..

(Richie) Well I walked her home held her tight we done things ya could not mention

(Johnny) But I tell ya sure and certain boys she had a great suspension

(Richie) Well we courted strong for six long months before I did propose

(Johnny) It was then she got all steamed up and burst her water hose

…..

Chorus

…..

(Richie) On a day in june we were wed our hearts the did entwine

(Johnny) But most of her upholstery was tied up would baling twine

(Richie) She looked so well on our honeymoon in her night attire

(Johnny) She had lovely cromey head lights but a very bad spare tyre

…..

Chorus

…..

(Richie) Well now we have five children the youngest he is pat

(Johnny) There’s a fair auld spark left in her though sometimes the batteries flat

(Richie) Now junes hair is turning grey but there is no finer

(Johnny) And I wouldn’t trade her for the world me little morris minor Final

…..

Chorus

(Richie) Oh me wife she is five foot three a blond there is no finer

(Johnny) I bought her in nineteen fifty-nine she’s a little a morris minor

(Richie) I met her at a dance one night below in enniscorthy

(Johnny) I traded in a commer van it was a nineteen forty

(Richie) Oh her name is june

(Johnny) She’s maroon she’s me little morris minor

(Johnny) And I wouldn’t trade her for the world me little morris minor

(Johnny) And I wouldn’t trade her for the world me little morris minor

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‘His Name It Is Joe Dolan’

lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus

There’s a singer here in Ireland the greatest of all men

He started off in mullingar with his brother ben

His first job was a printer his first love was to sing

His very first recording was the answer to everything

…..

His name it is Joe Dolan the year was sixty four

He made the Irish charts but there was more and more

House with the white washed gable my own peculiar way

Teresa,I need you,I love you more and more everyday

…..

Chorus

…..

Pretty brown eyes, aching breaking heart

Make me an island, made the british chart

He’s number one in europe he played the usa

He even played in russia before their freedom day

…..

Chorus

…..

He’s a westmeath bachelor a golf club he likes to swing

Your a good looking woman, you’ll often hear him sing

His voice it is unique no one he imitates

He has his own individuality thats why he is so great

…..

Chorus

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”Fagan’s Chipper Van”

lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

……

Oh me name is Johnny Fagan I’m a hard working man

An I always wanted for to own a little chipper van

I bought a Buy and Sell it’s full of adds you know

Then I seen an add for a chipper van in the county of Mayo

…..

Chorus

Did you ever wonder why I got vinger in me eye

Would you like a little sausage

I’ve a lovely little sausage

Would you like to buy a sausage

From me little chipper van

…..

I godder up a few auld bob and off I did go

Sure I bought the little chipper van in the county of Mayo

It used to be a bread van of Mooney and O’Brian

But now it’s a little chipper van an I’m glad that it is mine

…..

Chorus

…..

I buy all me spuds in Wexford the greatest spuds around

The make power full chips the got no frost in the ground

The chicken comes from Kellistown fish from the Irish sea

All cooked by Johnny Fagan, Johnny Fagan now thats me

…..

Chorus

…..

I sell all kinds of burgers coke and curry to

If your feeling kinda hungary you know now what to do

If you see Fagan’s chipper parked outside a pup

You now Johnny Fagan only sells the best a grub

…..

Final Chorus

Did you ever wonder why I got vinger in me eye

Would you like a little sausage

I’ve a lovely little sausage

Would you like to buy a sausage

From me little chipper van Would you like to buy a sausage

From from the Johnny Fagan man

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”Face Her For Mount Leinster”

lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Aon, Do, Tri, Ceathair, get them feet and start to clater

One,Two,Three Four, keep them dancing on the floor

…..

Chorus

…..

Oh face her for the mountain and face her for the hill

When you face her for Mount Leinster she’ll keep on dancing still

Oh face her for the valley and face her for the glenn

When you face her for Mount Leinster she’ll start to dance again

…..

She is a lovely girl and she has a lovely sister

I tell you were they live they live up on Mount Leinster

She’s a great girl with a hurley and a great girl with a sliter

She may be small and burley but be gore there is no fitter

…..

Chorus

…..

Aon, Do, Tri, Ceathair,

…..

She plays the auld camogie with the local team

Who shall, we shall, Myshall, yall hear the fans all scream

I brought her to the disco and I brought her to the pub

Then I brought her to the chippers because she likes her grub

…..

Chorus

…..

Aon, Do, Tri, Ceathair, get them feet and start to clater

One,Two,Three Four, keep them dancing on the floor

…..

Oh face her for the mountain and face her for the hill

When you face her for Mount Leinster she’ll keep on dancing still

Oh face her for the valley and face her for the glenn

When you face her for Mount Leinster she’ll start to dance again

Oh face her for for the mountain and face her for the hill

When you face her for Mount Leinster she’ll keep on dancing still

Oh face her for the valley and face her for the glenn

When you face her for Mount Leinster she’ll start to dance again

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”Me First Marquee Dance”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

(Richie)..Aye Johnny di ya remember yer first marquee dance?

…..Chorus

At sixteen years of age I went to my first marquee dance

Girls dresses were so short you could nearly see their pants

Then I spy’ed this little red head that I never seen before

And I asked her if she’d like to come for a spin around the floor

…..

Well she held me o so tightly she stuck to me like glue

Sure I got so excited I did’ent know what to do

I brought her for a mineral she drank the bleady lot

I asked her if she’d go with me she sure why not

…..

Well I got me brothers car keys it was an A forty

Then myself and the red head went outside now ya see

Well she started for to kiss me all over my big face

And she started for to tickle me in me important little place

…..

Well the sweat it run down me face at what she might do next

I was afraid for to feel her leg in case the girl got vexted

She says do you love me says I sure I dont know

She says now your a quar fellow your working to dam slow

…..

Well I laded me hand upon her knee an then to my suprise

Looking through the wind screen were two great big mad eyes

She says it is me brother he keeps an eye on me

Then he opened up the car door an stuck in his head ya see

…..

He says I’m this girls brother what are you doing to her

Go home to your manny ya sixteen year auld cur

He had a great big woolie head he was a savage of a man

And in his right hand he had a great big guinness can

…..

He had far to much drink taken an he started for to mouth

He drew out his left hand and gave me an awful a clouth

Well the red head came between us she says leave the chap alone

Stand back stand back he shouted I’m going to skin him to the bone

…..

Well I never will forget me first marque dance

I went there the next night never gave the girls a glance

Never want to see that red head o never no no more

Cause you know her great big brother would lay cold out on the floor

Cause you know that great big brother would lay cold out on the floor

…..

(Richie)..Did ya ever see the red head since Johnny

(Johnny)..She was ”A Rale Humdinger” lad, I married her

(Richie)..Yer codding

(Johnny)..I’m not.

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”John Tyndall”

( Waltz ) Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

…..

John Tyndall was born in carlow and a quar thing I’ll tell now to you

He was the first man in all of the world to explain why the sky it is blue

Born in the village of leighlin his homestead is standing there still

His good friend and teacher John Conwill thought him there in the school on the hill

…..

John Tyndall was born in carlow and a quar thing I’ll tell now to you

He was the first man in all of the world to explaine why the sky it is blue

John was a great man of science and also a skilled mountaineer

From humble beginnings in leighlin the science world he would domineer

…..

John Tyndall was born in carlow and a quar thing I’ll tell now to you

He was the first man in all of the world to explaine why the sky it is blue

Now his life it was full of adventure and he lived nearly three score and ten

Many books he had written and published sure he was a great man with a pen

…..

John Tyndall was born in carlow and a quar thing I’ll tell now to you

He was the first man in all of the world to explaine why the sky it is blue

He was a great man of learning and a great educationalist too

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The Borris Fair’

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

…..
Chorus

On the fifteenth day of august a everyone is there

They come from miles around a to the borris fair

Theres all kinds of tinkers dalers and conmen

And even three card tricks a game thats hard to win

…..

Its threre you’ll see the faces of the friends from long ago

Some of them have changed so much begor you’d hardly know

Ah when you started talking the memories they come back

Of great fairs now in borris the daleing and the crack

…..

‘’Stay wut her, Johny stay wut her’’

…..

The imigrants they come home from far across the sea

Ah borris on the fifteenth thats the place to be

A great day for the children ice cream and the like

Me daddy used to bring me on the bar of the bike

…..

If your looking for a jackass a puckan or a pony

The tinker man he has them all if you have the money

Cd tapes and videos an loads of old brick brack

Your sure to get a good dale if you have the dealing nack

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‘Up The Road’

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

…..

(Richie) Johnny were ya good at the riddles going to school

(Johnny) I was’ent to bad lad (Richie) Right listen to this

…..

(Richie) What goes up the road and down the road over the road and back the road

An never touches no part of the road at all

What goes up the road and down the road over the road and back the road

An never touches no part of the road at all

…..

(Johnny) I think I know now what it is I know the answer of your quiz

Sure that auld thing is as auld as sin I think its an egg inside of a hen

…..

(Richie) No Johnny no your wrong listen listen to the auld song Johnny listen

(Richie) What goes up the road and down the road over the road and back the road

An never touches no part of the road at all

What goes up the road and down the road over the road and back the road

An never touches no part of the road at all

…..

(Johnny) I think this time I am in luck I think its a egg inside of a duck

Me Granny taught me all them rhymes Years ago in the good auld times

…..

(Richie) No Johnny your wrong again Listen to it again we’ll give ya another chance listen Lad

…..

(Richie) What goes up the road and down the road over the road and back the road

An never touches no part of the road at all

What goes up the road and down the road over the road and back the road

An never touches no part of the road at all

…..

(Johnny) Its quar hard lad sing it again

…..

(Richie) What goes up the road and down the road over the road and back the road

An never touches no part of the road at all

What goes up the road and down the road over the road and back the road

An never touches no part of the road at all

…..

(Richie) I think I’ll have to give ya a clue With a job like this yad have little to do

Just move around now and again

(Johnny) Be jabores i think its the council men

(Richie) Well done Johnny yer a good one

…..

(Richie) They go up the road and down the road over the road and back the road

An never touch no part of the road at all

They go up the road and down the road over the road and back the road

An never touch no part of the road at all

(Richie) They go up the road and down the road over the road and back the road

An never touch no part of the road at all

They go up the road and down the road over the road and back the road

An never touch no part of the road at all

(Richie) They go up the road and down the road over the road and back the road

An never touch no part of the road at all

They go up the road and down the road over the road and back the road

An never touch no part of the road at all

(Richie) Up the road and down the road over the road and back the road

An never touch no part of the road at all

They go up the road and down the road over the road and back the road

An never touch no part of the road at all

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

”Captain Myles Keogh”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

…..

Myles Keogh lost his life at the Little Bighorn

A long ways from Carlow the place he was born

After the battle the were counting the dead

When the came to Myles Keogh this red indian he said

…..

This man rode a horse with feathered white feet

He was a brave man he was hard to defeat

His men rally-ed round him the all knew the drill

But the all died together on last stand hill

…..

Myles Keogh a commander at Custer’s last stand

When thousands of indians swamp’ed over the land

Sitting Bull, Crazy Horse, Lakota, Cheyenne

The great seventh Cavalry the soon over ran

…..

Myles Keogh rode a horse with feathered white feet

He was a brave man he was hard to defeat

His men rallyed round him the all knew the drill

But the all died together on last stand hill

…..

The only thing living the only thing found

Was Keoghs horse comanche alive on the ground

They all stepped together to the great garryowen

Now their memory forever is engraved there in stone

…..

Myles Keogh rode a horse with feathered white feet

He was a brave man he was hard to defeat

His men rallyed round him the all knew the drill

But the all died together on last stand hill

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”Our Anniversary is Today”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

….

(Johnny) How long do you know the wife now lad?

….

Our Anniversary is today

I love’s her still in the same auld way

She is me darling she’s me true love

She is me turtle dove

….

The first time I saw her was across the dance floor

I knew I’d never seen her there before

Her lovely smile her hair it did shine

I knew then her love would be mine

….

Our Anniversary is today

I love’s her still in the same auld way

She is me darling she’s me true love

She is me turtle dove

….

I brought her home on the bar of the bike

She lived in Clonmore it was a long hike

I cycled home by the light of the moon

We were married the following June

….

Our Anniversary is today

I love’s her still in the same auld way

She is me darling she’s me true love

She is me turtle dove

….

Well we brought up the children thought the money was tight

We all pulled together said our prayers every night

Through the good times, the bad times, the happy, the sad

A better woman no man ever had

….

Our Anniversary is today

I love’s her still in the same auld way

She is me darling she’s me true love

She is me turtle dove

….

Now we’er taking it easy we’er taking our time

We’er slowly maturing like a bottle of wine

And we’ve been saving the best till the last

To the further, the present, the past

….

Our Anniversary is today

I love’s her still in the same auld way

She is me darling she’s me true love

She is me turtle dove

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

”The Disney Gravestone”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

….

There’s a churchyard in carlow near a broken down house

Where lie the ancestors of the great Mickey Mouse

Walt Disney’s forefathers lie under long grass

Gravestone unnoticed by people who pass

….

A Disney left Ireland sailed over the sea

Could never have dream’ent what was going to be

That one of his family not now very soon

Would make a great fortune from a classic cartoon

….

There’s a churchyard in carlow near a broken down house

Where lie the ancestors of the great Mickey Mouse

Walt Disney’s forefathers lie under long grass

Gravestone unnoticed by people who pass

….

Ub Lwerks drew Mickey and brought him to life

The name Mickey mouse was thought up by Walt’s wife

Walt Disney was Mickey,s voice on the screen

The greatest cartoon that ever has been

….

There’s a churchyard in carlow near a broken down house

Where lie the ancestors of the great Mickey Mouse

Walt Disney’s forefathers lie under long grass

Gravestone unnoticed by people who pass

….

It’s sad now that no one would bodder at all

To clean up the churchyard or fix up the wall

Clean up the gravestone with the family name

Disney’s from carlow who reached such great fame

….

There’s a churchyard in carlow near a broken down house

Where lie the ancestors of the great Mickey Mouse

Walt Disney’s forefathers lie under long grass

Gravestone unnoticed by people who pass

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

”Never Say Ow!”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

….

A quar thing I’ll tell you about a cow now

You can pull all her tit’s but she’ll never say Ow!

Never say Ow! Oh never say Ow!

You can pull all her tit’s but she’ll never say Ow!

….

Me granny she thought me how to milk a cow

Site down there young man an I’ll show you how

Pull one tit pull two tit’s pull three and pull four

Then start with tit one and just do like before

….

A quar thing I’ll tell you about a cow now

You can pull all her tit’s but she’ll never say Ow!

Never say Ow! Oh never say Ow!

You can pull all her tit’s but she’ll never say Ow!

….

The cow’s love life is so very dull T

he AI man now replace’s the bull

There’s noting on earth the cow she can do

Look over the gate and just give a big Moo

….

A quar thing I’ll tell you about a cow now

You can pull all her tit’s but she’ll never say Ow!

Never say Ow! Oh never say Ow!

You can pull all her tit’s but she’ll never say Ow!

….

(Richie) Stay wut her Johnny

(Johnny) That’s right that’s the truth, lie on her head lad, lie on head

….

She like’s to be out in the field every day

There’s no buttercup’s there all killed with spray

She grazes the grass in the field o so green

But there’s no buttercups or wildflowers to be seen

….

A quar thing I’ll tell you about a cow now

You can pull all her tit’s but she’ll never say Ow!

Never say Ow! Oh never say Ow!

You can pull all her tit’s but she’ll never say Ow!

….

(Johnny) Stay wut her lad

….

Oh never say Ow! never say Ow!

You can pull all her tit’s but she’ll never say Ow!

Never say Ow! Oh never say Ow!

You can pull all her tit’s but she’ll never say Ow!

….

(Richie) The crater has a very long face Johnny.

(Johnny) Yes cause she never gets the bull,The AI man dose the job, A quar go an too.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

”Paddy’s Day”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

….

Saint Patrick came to Ireland in four thirty two

He tried to make a christan out a me an out a you

Held up a bit of shamrock frighting all the snakes away

And thats why we still celabrate Paddys Day

….

Paddys Day, A Paddys Day

We’er going to have the craic and put a few pints away

We march down the town with the shamrock on our chest

Cause we are all Irish and us Irish are best

….

Paddy Paddy Paddy Paddy Paddy’s Day

A Paddy Paddy Paddy Paddy Paddy’s Day

….

He lit a pascal fire upon the hill of Slane

The Tara king he saw it and nearly went insane

Very soon Saint Patrick the king he did convert

Thats why we still have people a’ praying down in Clonfert

….

A Paddy Paddy Paddy Paddy Paddy’s Day

A Paddy Paddy Paddy Paddy Paddy’s Day

….

Saint Patrick came to Ireland in four thirty two

He tried to make a christan out a me an out a you

Held up a bit of shamrock frighting all the snakes away

And thats how we still celabrate Paddys Day

….

Paddys Day, A Paddys Day

We’er going to have the craic and put a few pints away

We march down the town with the shamrock on our chest

Cause we are all Irish and us Irish are best

….

A Paddy Paddy Paddy Paddy Paddy’s Day

A Paddy Paddy Paddy Paddy Paddy’s Day

….

Saint Patrick came to Ireland in four thirty two

He tried to make a christan out a me an out a you

Held up a bit of shamrock frighting all the snakes away

And thats how we still celabrate Paddys Day

….

Paddys Day, A Paddys Day

We’er going to have the craic and put a few pints away

We march down the town with the shamrock on our chest

Cause we are all Irish and us Irish are best

….

A Paddy Paddy Paddy Paddy Paddy’s Day

A Paddy Paddy Paddy Paddy Paddy’s Day

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

The Gordon Bennett Race

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh


A Hundred years ago today in nineteen hundred and three

The Gordon Bennett race It was a sight to see

Jenatzy was the winner in six hours thirty nine

In a sixty horse Mercedes he had the fastest time

…..

The starting point was Kilrush Just outside Athy

Cars sped off driving dust up in the sky

Open to all Nations cars of every Make

Tearing down the road leaving zig zag marks in there wake

…..

A Hundred years ago today in nineteen hundred and three

The Gordon Bennett race It was a sight to see

Jenatzy was the winner in six hours thirty nine

In a sixty horse Mercedes he had the fastest time

…..

Cars reach sixty five miles an hour on the Ballyshannon straight

Where people paid a guinea for a roadside seat

Ardscull Moat was crowded on the day

From there you could see dust from cars Three miles away

…..

A Hundred years ago today in nineteen hundred and three

The Gordon Bennett race It was a sight to see

Jenatzy was the winner in six hours thirty nine

In a sixty horse Mercedes he had the fastest time

…..

Mechanics had there work cut out believe it or not

Threw water on the tyres because they got so hot

Sensation of the day was the gorteen crossroads crash

When a car broke its wheel and turned over with a smash

…..

A Hundred years ago today in nineteen hundred and three

The Gordon Bennett race It was a sight to see

Jenatzy was the winner in six hours thirty nine

In a sixty horse Mercedes he had the fastest time

…..

Spoken,

(Richie) Is’nt That right Johnny

(Johnny) Thats right thats the truth Me Granddad told me all about it,

He said all the roadside hedges had to be cut,

They took the humps off the bridges and steam rolled all the roads,

”And Thats the Truth cause me Granddad ad know”

…..

A Hundred years ago today in nineteen hundred and three

The Gordon Bennett race It was a sight to see

Jenatzy was the winner in six hours thirty nine

In a sixty horse Mercedes he had the fastest time

…..

Jenatzy there behind the wheel mechanic by his side

Brought the Gordon Bennett cup to Germany with such pride

Second place and Third Panhards they were fast

A Mors it was fourth and the Napier was last

…..

A Hundred years ago today in nineteen hundred and three

The Gordon Bennett race It was a sight to see

Jenatzy was the winner in six hours thirty nine

In a sixty horse Mercedes he had the fastest time

In a sixty horse Mercedes he had the fastest time

Gordon Bennett Cup Race Results 1903
1. Jenatzy (Mercedes), 6h39m at 49.2mph 2. De Knyff (Panhard), 6h50m 3. Farman (Panhard), 6h51m 4. Gabriel (Mors), 7h11m 5. Edge (Napier), 9h28m (disqualified)

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Do You Really Love Your Mammy

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

…..
(Richie) Heres a little song about all the mammy’s in all the world

…..

Do you really love your mammy do you love her every day

Cause you’ll never miss your mammy till your mammy’s gone away

When the good lord up in heaven calls her to the golden gate

Its then you’ll miss your mammy but its then twill be to late

….

When you were a little baby she was o so fond of you

She would feed you night and morning and wash your little bottom too

When you had your little windies she knew just what to do

And your gums when you were teething she watched them all grow through

…..

And when first you went to school she was there to hold your hand

When you made your conformation sure she had you looking grand

All the times you were in trouble beside you she would stand

On your twenty first a birthday it was her who payed the band

…..

Now your courting days are over and you never more will roam

She was o so very happy when you bought your little home

Now your children call her Granny but she’s still your Mammy too

And no matter what life brings you Mammy always will love you

Do you really love your mammy do you love her every day

Cause you’ll never miss your mammy till your mammy’s gone away

…..

A Ferguson Tractor

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

…..
(Richie) Di ya remember the little Ferguson tractor Johnny?

(Johnny) The were a great little yoke you start an I’ll join in,

…..

Oh I am a little Ferguson built so many years ago

I was bought up in Dublin at the RDS spring show

I’m a lovely little tractor and I look so very cute

Not like the tractor of today that great big ugly brute

…..

Well they brought me home to Fenagh in the county of Carlow

And the first man to drive me was mickey’s uncle joe

He put on his top coat and he jumped upon me sate

Pulled back on the throttle and he flew out through the gate

…..

Oh I am a little Ferguson built so many years ago

I was bought up in Dublin at the RDS spring show

I’m a lovely little tractor and I look so very cute

Not like the tractor of today that great big ugly brute

…..

All the auld lads started laughing and jeering now you see

They said that auld black jackass was far better now then me

But the jackass he is long since dead his bones has turned to dust

Here am I freshly painted would nare a speck a rust

…..

Oh I am a little Ferguson built so many years ago

I was bought up in Dublin at the RDS spring show

I’m a lovely little tractor and I look so very cute

Not like the tractor of today that great big ugly brute

…..

Oh where have all the years gone by I’m parked here in the shed

Poor auld uncle joe is inside crippled in the bed

But every september until the man is dead

He’ll grab his little walking aid an he’ll head up for the shed

…..

Oh I am a little Ferguson built so many years ago

I was bought up in Dublin at the RDS spring show

I’m a lovely little tractor and I look so very cute

Not like the tractor of today that great big ugly brute

…..

He’ll check me oil and water he’ll shine and polish me

Then he’ll bring me down to Fenagh for everyone to see

They’ll put him sitting on me sate he looks so very proud

As he drives me through the steam rally to the cheering of the crowed

…..

Oh I am a little Ferguson built so many years ago

I was bought up in Dublin at the RDS spring show

I’m a lovely little tractor and I look so very cute

Not like the tractor of today that great big ugly brute

Not like the tractor of today that great big ugly brute

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

A Little Bit Of Lastic

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

…..

I’m a little bit of lastic an a little bit of lace

I was made for to cover your important little place

Lads try to get their hands on me and end up in disgrace

I’m a little bit of lastic an a little bit of lace

…..

I come in all kinds of colours every shape an size

The one thing about me is the element of surprise

Every monday morning I’m hung out on the line

And left there all day if the weather it is fine

…..

I’m a little bit of lastic an a little bit of lace

I was made for to cover your importan little place

Lads try to get their hands on me and end up in disgrace

I’m a little bit of lastic an a little bit of lace

…..

Ah sure I’m hanging here upon the line all through out the day

An as the lads pass by they all ways look my way

Ya know now if I could talk to them such story’s I could tell

But I know the way the look at me the know it all to well

…..

I’m a little bit of lastic an a little bit of lace

I was made for to cover your importan little place

Lads try to get their hands on me and end up in disgrace

I’m a little bit of lastic an a little bit of lace

…..

(Richie) Stay wut her Johnny stat wut her

(Johnny) Thats right thats the truth

…..

Now the make me much smaller I hardly cover it at all

A course the price is bigger though I am very small

Now when I get a bit torn I know the end is near

Thought I hear that big maggie has the same one 20 year

…..

I’m a little bit of lastic an a little bit of lace

I was made for to cover your importan little place

Lads try to get their hands on me and end up in disgrace

I’m a little bit of lastic an a little bit of lace

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

A Travellin Man

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

…..


(Richie) Johnny are you going to sing a song

(Johnny) I’m going to sing about a little Travellin Man an it goes something like this

…..

Oh I am a little travellin man Some people calls me tinker dan

I have a great big hiace van

An I buy an sell all that I can

Will ya buy a bit a carpet an I’ll give it to ya chape

Di ya want a radio will ya buy an auld tape

Sure I never coded no one no time in me life

Will ya buy a bit a carpet an I’ll give it to ya chape

Di ya want a radio will ya buy an auld tape

Sure I never coded no one no time in me life

…..

Well I was rared in a horse drawn van

Me father was a cute little man

We used to travel near an far

With a pie ball horse an a little spring car

…..

Oh I am a little travellin man

Some people calls me tinker dan

I have a great big hiace van

An I buy an sell all that I can

Will ya buy a bit a carpet an I’ll give it to ya chape

Di ya want a radio will ya buy an auld tape

Sure I never coded no one no time in me life

Will ya buy a bit a carpet an I’ll give it to ya chape

Di ya want a radio will ya buy an auld tape

Sure I never coded no one no time in me life

…..(Richie) Stay wut her Johnny, stay wut her

…..

Ah the places we used to camp and stay

Are all filled up with stones and clay

We’er toult stay going now keep away

Sure we can’t keep going till our dying day

…..

Oh I am a little travellin man

Some people calls me tinker dan

I have a great big hiace van

An I buy an sell all that I can

Will ya buy a bit a carpet an I’ll give it to ya chape

Di ya want a radio will ya buy an auld tape

Sure I never coded no one no time in me life

Will ya buy a bit a carpet an I’ll give it to ya chape

Di ya want a radio will ya buy an auld tape

Sure I never coded no one no time in me life

…..

Well me brother Mickey he’s the one

If ya want a bit a tarmacadem done

I’m not coding ya now he’ll do a good job

An he’ll only charge ya a small few bob

…..

Oh I am a little travellin man

Some people calls me tinker dan

I have a great big hiace van

An I buy an sell all that I can

Will ya buy a bit a carpet an I’ll give it to ya chape

Di ya want a radio will ya buy an auld tape

Sure I never coded no one no time in me life

Will ya buy a bit a carpet an I’ll give it to ya chape

Di ya want a radio will ya buy an auld tape

Sure I never coded no one no time in me life

…..

Well me father toult me how to buy and sell

I,m not coding ya boy I’m doing quar well

I paid for me house and me hiace van

And I’m proud to be called a travellin man

…..

Oh I am a little travellin man

Some people calls me tinker dan

I have a great big Hiace van

An I buy an sell all that I can

Will ya buy a bit a carpet an I’ll give it to ya chape

Di ya want a radio will ya buy an auld tape

Sure I never coded no one no time in me life

Will ya buy a bit a carpet an I’ll give it to ya chape

Di ya want a radio will ya buy an auld tape

Sure I never coded no one no time in me life

No I never coded no one no time in me life

(Johnny) That’s The Truth

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

The Carlow Fence

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

There never was a structure before now or since
As unique and sturdy as the carlow fence
The upright on top was cut into a vee
For the end of the lentil to fit into you see

Says watson down in fenagh this granite fence I’m starting
You’ll see it still beside the road down in ballydarton
All throughout the county you’ll see this fence still
Grand ones in oak park and up in ballinakill

There never was a structure before now or since
As unique and sturdy as the carlow fence
The upright on top was cut into a vee
For the end of the lentil to fit into you see

Cleaved from a rock up out of the ground
The cleaver worked the stone wherever it was found
With stone pick wedges plug and two feathers
Simple tools but mighty tools when the were worked together

There never was a structure before now or since
As unique and sturdy as the carlow fence
The upright on top was cut into a vee
For the end of the lentil to fit into you see

God bless the stone cutters for the lovely work the did
Hard auld work for a small few quid
A heritage in stone there forever more
The lovely Carlow fence a fence that I adore

There never was a structure before now or since
As unique and sturdy as the carlow fence
The upright on top was cut into a vee
For the end of the lentil to fit into you see

There never was a structure before now or since
As unique and sturdy as the carlow fence
The upright on top was cut into a vee
For the end of the lentil to fit into you see

I love My Juggernaut

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

…..

Oh believe it or believe it not i love me juggernaut !!

I’ve been all over Ireland to the North i’ve seen the lot

I’m hauling great big bales of hay I’m heading for Mayo

With potholes all through Cavan sure i’ll have to drive so slow

…..

In the morning I’m up early on the road at half past five

The air is fresh and crispy by it’s great to be alive

I fall in behind a crawler put me foot down on the gas

But the roads are to bumpy for me juggernaut to pass

…..

Oh believe it or believe it not i love me juggernaut !!

I’ve been all over Ireland to the North i’ve seen the lot

I’m hauling great big bales of hay I’m heading for Mayo

With potholes all through Cavan sure i’ll have to drive so slow

…..

(Johnny) Breaker Breaker I’m looking for a copy

(Richie) 10/4 This is big Rich come back

(Johnny) Ah this is your auld pal Johnny

(Richie) Ah Johnny what’s your 20

…..

I’m in the County Offaly and I’m awfully sorry now

I broke the mirrors of me cab and I’d like to tell you how

With sceachs bows and bushes rubbing of me load

I wish the county council would trim along the road

…..

Oh believe it or believe it not i love me juggernaut !! I

‘ve been all over Ireland to the North i’ve seen the lot

I’m hauling great big bales of hay I’m heading for Mayo

With potholes all through Cavan sure i’ll have to drive so slow

…..

(Richie) Come back Johnny come back

…..

Some people call us juggernaut’s ,Artic’s or big trucks

Some people even give us horrid dirty looks

I know you’ve got your reasons sometimes for to frown

But did you ever try to drive a Scania through your town

…..

Oh believe it or believe it not i love me juggernaut !!

I’ve been all over Ireland to the North i’ve seen the lot

I’m hauling great big bales of hay I’m heading for Mayo

With potholes all through Cavan sure i’ll have to drive so slow

…..

(Richie) Stay wut her Johnny stay wut her

(Johnny ) That’s right that’s the truth rev’er on the corners

(Richie) And face her for Mount Leinster

…..

I know I swing me volvo all around your market square

I know that you think lorry drivers we just don’t care

But the streets are so narrow built so many years ago

They were built for horses carts not juggernauts you know

…..

Oh believe it or believe it not i love me juggernaut !!

I’ve been all over Ireland to the North I’ve seen the lot

I’m hauling great big bales of hay I’m heading for Mayo

With potholes all through Cavan sure i’ll have to drive so slow

…..

(Richie) Come back Johnny, come back, we’ll leave the last one to you

…..

I’m in the county Offaly and I’m awfully sorry now

I broke the mirrors of me cab and I’d like to tell you how

With sceachs bows and bushes the council will not cut

When I get back to the depot the boss will do his nut

Oh when I get back to the depot the boss will do his nut

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

The Pothole Song

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

…..
(Richie) Heres a little song about the holiest country in all the world “Holy Ireland”
Is’aint that right Johnny?

(Johnny) “Thats Right Thats The Truth” you start an I’ll join in

(Richie) Right Johnny here we go

Now they call us holy Ireland great big potholes everywhere
If your going out a driving make sure and bring the spare
Ah me little back suspension goes bobbing up and down
Even though I pay me road tax the treat me like a clown

…..

There’s big ones there’s little ones there’s some a duck could swim
And if you hit a bad one you’ll soon be on the rim
You can go and get your puncher fixed there’s no-one from to claim
You can ask your county counselor but he wont take the blame

…..

So they call us holy Ireland great big potholes everywhere
If your going out a driving make sure and bring the spare
Ah me little back suspension goes bobbing up and down
Even though I pay me road tax the treat me like a clown

…..

(Richie) Now Johnny its your turn

(Johnny) “Thats Right Thats The Truth”

…..

They send out a great big lorry with three fellows in the back
A little barrel a tar and a few chipping in a sack
There hunting for the potholes but they don’t get very far
After filling twenty holes they get run out of tar

…..
So they call us holy Ireland great big potholes everywhere
If your going out a driving make sure and bring the spare
Ah me little back suspension goes bobbing up and down
Even though I pay me road tax the treat me like a clown

…..

So the head back for the depot but their told to go away
The ganger man says one barrel supposed to last all day
Now I don’t blame the council men their back is to the wall
I blame them fancy fellows sitting down there in the Dail
…..

So they call us holy Ireland great big potholes everywhere
If your going out a driving make sure and bring the spare
Ah me little back suspension goes bobbing up and down
Even though I pay me road tax the treat me like a clown
…..

Now when there’s an election they’ll come knocking at your door
Says you I remember you you were here before
You said yad fill the potholes you treat me like a goat
If you fill up the potholes then I’ll give you me vote

…..

Now they call us holy Ireland great big potholes everywhere
If your going out a driving make sure and bring the spare
Ah me little back suspension goes bobbing up and down
Even though I pay me road tax the treat me like a clown
Even though you pay your road tax the treat you like a clown

(Johnny) “Thats Right Thats The Truth”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Johnny is a Bachelor

lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

…..
Chorus

Oh Johnny is a bachelor and I’d like to tell ya why

He loves and kissed all the girls but his quick to say goodbye

Did you every sleep with a woman or would it be a sin

I wouldn’t be sure for certain I might have dosed off now and again

…..

Well the first girl that Johnny knew I think her name was

Mary I loved this girl dearly but her face was awful hairy

One night I tried to court her in my little morris van

But when I went to feel her leg I found out she was a man

Chorus

Well the next girl that Johnny knew her name was little Sue

In me morris minor she knew just what to do

Every time ya’d kiss her she’d squeeze you oh so tight

Oh Sue was a great auld court she’d keep you out half the night

Chorus

Well the next girl that Johnny knew her name it was kathleen

And she was the grandest girl that you had every seen

One night in me morris minor she said she’d take a chance

Now her brothers an her sisters are all uncles and aunts

Chorus

Well the last girl that Johnny knew her name it was big maggie

I love this girl dearly but her hair was awful jaggy

One night she proposed to me beside a bale of hay

That was a year ago and I’m regretting every day

Last Chorus

Oh Johnny is a not bachelor and I’d like to tell ya why

He loved and kissed big Maggie but he was slow to say goodbye

What’s it like to sleep with Maggie I asked him with a grin

To hell with her hundred acres I wish I was a single man again

Oh to hell with her hundred acres I wish I was a single man again

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

”Mick The Tent”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh

Chorus……..

He was known all over Ireland, everywhere he went

His name it was Mick Donohue, but they called him Mick the Tent.

If you wanted a marquee for hire there was no better man

Sure he travelled all of Ireland in his little Hi Ace van.

…..

He started running dances in the hall in Garryhill

And every night a biscuit tin with money he would fill.

He saved up all the shillings and bought his first marquee

Bridie Gallagher singing on the stage, it was a site to see.

…..

The marquees then were all the go, there were dances everywhere

At all the fairs and festivals, sure Mick you’d find him there.

He worked from early morning  late into the night

Always making sure that every job was finished right

…..

He always kept the best of tents, most of them brand new

For all kinds of occasions and for every kind of do.

At the national ploughing championships and other big events

Mick the man from Garryhill, would supple all the tents.

…..

On the day that Mick he died, up to Heaven now he went

St. Peter opened up the gates, says he ‘’yer welcome Mike the Tent’’.

Says Mick, ’’ I’m glad to meet you Boss’’, then with a great big grin,

If I was to live me life once more “I’d Do The Same Again.”

…..

“Is’ent that Right Johnny?”

“That’s right, that’s the truth”

And the song he used to always sing was Phil the Fluthers Ball.

”Do You Really Love Your Mammy”

Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh
…..
(Richie) Heres a little song about all the mammy’s in all the world
…..
Do you really love your mammy do you love her every day
Cause you’ll never miss your mammy till your mammy’s gone away
When the good lord up in heaven calls her to the golden gate
Its then you’ll miss your mammy but its then twill be to late
….
When you were a little baby she was oh so fond of you
She would feed you night and morning and wash your little bottom too
When you had your little windies she knew just what to do
And your gums when you were teething she watched them all grow through
…..
And when first you went to school she was there to hold your hand
When you made your conformation sure she had you looking grand
All the times you were in trouble beside you she would stand
On your twenty first a birthday it was her who payed the band
…..
Now your courting days are over and you never more will roam
She was o so very happy when you bought your little home
Now your children call her Granny but she’s still your Mammy too
And no matter what life brings you Mammy always will love you
Do you really love your mammy do you love her every day
Cause you’ll never miss your mammy till your mammy’s gone away