Lyrics and Music by Richie Kavanagh
Oh Johnny is a bachelor and I’d like to tell ya why,
He loves and kissed all the girls but he’s quick to say goodbye.
Did you every sleep with a woman or would it be a sin?
I wouldn’t be sure for certain, I might have dosed off now and again.
Well the first girl that Johnny knew, I think her name was Mary.
I loved this girl dearly but her face was awful hairy.
One night I tried to court her in my little Morris van.
But when I went to feel her leg, I found out she was a man.
Well the next girl that Johnny knew her name was little Sue.
In me Morris Minor she knew just what to do.
Every time ya’d kiss her she’d squeeze you oh so tight.
Oh Sue was a great auld court, she’d keep you out half the night.
Well the next girl that Johnny knew her name it was Kathleen.
And she was the grandest girl that you had every seen.
One night in me Morris Minor, she said she’d take a chance.
Now her brothers an’ her sisters are all Uncles and Aunts.
Well the last girl that Johnny knew her name it was big Maggie.
I love this girl dearly but her hair was awful jaggy.
One night she proposed to me beside a bale of hay.
That was a year ago and I’m regretting every day.
Oh Johnny is a not bachelor and I’d like to tell ya why.
He loved and kissed big Maggie but he was slow to say goodbye.
What’s it like to sleep with Maggie, I asked him with a grin.
To hell with her hundred acres, I wish I was a single man again.
Oh to hell with her hundred acres, I wish I was a single man again.